Do you ever wonder what kind of things theatre teachers see in auditions? After all, theatre teachers see thousands of auditions, so you know there are bound to be some unfortunately memorable performances.
1. The same monologue
I have nothing against D.M. Larson or Kellie Powell, but I have all their monologues memorized now. Time to read some more plays, people!
2. The improviser
You just came up with that monologue on the spot? I had no idea…
3. Fierce eye contact
Please don’t look me in the eyes while you perform a monologue about “me” attacking you.
4. Wrong genre
Your monologue was hilarious, but I don’t think Hamlet is supposed to be funny…
5. Vulgar performance
You would think people would censor themselves with teachers in the room… alas… they do not.
6. “Can I start over?”
I’m starting to think this monologue is about short-term memory loss. If it is… brilliant.
7. Overly prepared freshman
This one is only unfortunate because the seniors are going to whine that they were beat out by a freshman.
8. Lazy seniors
The senioritis is strong with this one… so I’m giving your part to a freshman.
9. Techies who can act and sing
You can act and sing too?! Great, now who’s going to build the set?
10. The plagued
You’re so sick that you weren’t at school today, but theatre is life, so… wipe your nose and try not to cough on the directors.
11. The Nervous Fish
At any moment these students think a shark will appear and eat them whole. (I have yet to see this shark).
Thank you for signing up last too… I was hoping to wait around for no one.
13. One character McGee
I really want to cast you… unfortunately the only character you can play doesn’t really fit in this show.
14. Original monologue
Must every original monologue be a dark and depressing window into your inner-thoughts?
Remember, you’re allowed to act and sing simultaneously!
16. Two left feet
Don’t worry, we’ll put you in the back.
I can’t cast you when you’re failing everything except Theatre and Choir.