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Life Of A Stage Manager Told By Queen Elizabeth II

There are a select few that have the passion and patience to be called a stage manager. Recently, the great Queen Elizabeth II turned 90, and who better to describe all the feelings of a stage manager than the longest reigning monarch of all time?!

The calm before the storm.

Rehearsals are just beginning, you meet your tech crew for the first time and pray to God that everything will run smoothly.

Establishing dominance…

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You quickly assess any trouble makers and let them know you don’t want to be the “bad guy/gal”, so they just need to listen up and be professional. Nothing wrong with firing a few “warning shots” to let them know you mean business.

Trying to keep your cool when actors forget lines/notes…

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Listen to the director, remember your cues, and for goodness sake learn your lines or so help me God I will say the name of the Scottish play!

When people play with and/or break props That Do Not Belong To Them

Do we really need an explanation for this? Just. Don’t. Do. It.

When people start blaming the techies for mistakes that aren’t theirs…

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Even though they tend to get on your last nerve when they forget a cue or forget to mop the stage, the techies are your children. Nobody is going to mess with them, and if they do, they’ll have you to answer to!

When the director hands you the reigns for tech week…

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You’re all mine!!! Muahahahahahahahahahahaha…

First couple days of tech week…

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You wonder how is this going to work & why did you even do this in the first place.

Halfway through tech week…

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Come at me! I dare you to bring slider thirteen up when I clearly said slider fifteen! Please, God, if I hear one more bad pun in the headset…

3/4 through tech week…

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Yeah go ahead and keep messing with that prop, I’ll tell you where to put it…

Tech week has ended…

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You’re tired, hungry, and you just want to go home…but everyone won’t stop horsing around! Come on y’all, we have been here for sixteen hours. Wrap. It. Up. Now. Please.

Opening night…

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You’ve done it! All your blood, sweat, tears and sanity have not gone to waste! You have reigned supreme and ran a wonderfully smooth show, heaven help you tomorrow though, you’ve got to do it all again. Correction, you get to do all of it again. Being a stage manager is one of the most stressful, time consuming jobs in the business, but hey, it’s a beautiful ride!

And remember, we are always watching you…

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Thank you to all stage managers for making this whole thing work, we love and appreciate you! You are truly queens (& Kings) of the stage!

Written by Samantha Shepherd

Samantha is a sophomore at the University of North Texas working towards a BFA in Theatre Arts

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