October 16, 2018 at 7:47 pm #368918
I once used this to audition for Arsenic and Old Lace once. It’s an excerpt from P.G. Wodehouse’s “Leave it to Psmith”. It’s fun to do as well as a good challenge for an actor.
Be brave, Comrade Walderwick! Face this thing like a man!
I am sorry to have been the means of depriving you of an excellent umbrella,
but as you will readily understand I had no alternative.
It was raining.
She was over there, crouched despairingly beneath the awning of that shop.
She wanted to be elsewhere, but the moisture lay in wait to damage her hat.
What could I do? What could any man worthy of the name do but go down to the cloak-room and pinch the best umbrella in sight and take it to her?
Yours was easily the best. There was absolutely no comparison.
I gave it to her, and she has gone off with it, happy once more.
This explanation, will I am sure, sensibly diminish your natural chagrin.
You have lost your umbrella, Comrade Walderwick, but in what a cause!
In what a cause, Comrade Walderwick!
You are now entitled to rank with Sir Philip Sidney and Sir Walter Ralegh.
The latter is perhaps the closer historical parallel.
He spread his cloak to keep a queen from wetting her feet.
You- by proxy- yielded up your umbrella to save a girl’s hat.
Posterity will be proud of you, Comrade Walderwick.
I shall be vastly surprised if you do not go down in legend and song.
Children in ages to come will cluster about their grandfather’s knees, saying,
‘Tell us how the great Walderwick lost his umbrella, grandpapa!’
And he will tell them, and they will rise from the recital better, deeper, broader children…
But now, as I see that the driver has started his meter, I fear I must conclude this little chat- which I, for one, have heartily enjoyed.
October 17, 2018 at 2:21 am #368933
Awesome, thanks for sharing David!
October 17, 2018 at 10:48 am #368942
Thomas R. BartonParticipant
Ooh! Thanks!! I’m going to use that sometime
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