It’s madness
To be always sitting around in sadness,
When you could be learning the steps of gladness.
You’ll be happy when you can do
Just six or seven;

Begin to day!
You’ll find it nice,
The quickest way to paradise.
When you practice,
Here’s the thing to do,
Simply say as you go…

I’ll build a stairway to Paradise
With a new step ev’ry day!
I’m gonna get there at any price;
Stand aside, I’m on my way!
I’ve got the blues
And up above it’s so fair.
Shoes! Go on and carry me there!
I’ll build a stairway to Paradise
With a new step every day.

In your arms, I’m all I wish I were:
I’m brave, I’m strong, and I’m true,
As long as I can go on living’ loving you.

Look at what it did to Anthony
It made a “mark” out of Anthony
If love could do that to Anthony
What chance have I with love?

Look at what it did to Samson
‘Til he lost his hair he was brave
If a haircut could weaken Samson
They could murder me with a shave

Louie Number Fifteen, King of France
They say he suffered with each romance
If love kicked him in the royal pants
What chance have I
An ordinary guy
What chance have I with love?

Look at what it did to Adam
From that bite he could not escape
If an apple could finish Adam
They could knock me off with a grape

Miss Lucrezia Borgia, deep in sin
She poisoned her lovers when they dropped in
If they wound up with a Mickey Finn
What chance have I
An ordinary guy
What chance have I with love?

Look what love did for Reno
It put Reno on the map
When a woman goes to Reno
It’s because some man is a sap

Tommy Manville’s love is not returned
He sells asbestos and he has learned
That with asbestos he still gets burned
What chance have I
An ordinary guy
What chance have I with love?

(Sung)
She asks how I am.
And so: how am I?
My days are the usual days.
I wake up, I go out.
Time goes by.

My days are exactly the days I have lived since arriving here.
In fact, how I am is amazed how this comforts me year by year.
I work and I eat.
Life is muffins and jam.
The house is nice and quiet now.
That is how I am.

Five years in these rooms reading Hegel and Kant.
My mind is devoted to thoughts of the meaning of life.
What more could I want?
So why is it lately I find I’m uneasy all through the night?
And why even now does my skin feel explosive as dynamite?
Why does my heart pound like a battering ram?
How can she ask me how I am?
How I am is fine!

(Begins to write a letter back)
‘Dear Miss March, there is nothing dramatic or new to report.
This will be short.
Morning and evening I live in my usual way.
On the day you return you will see for yourself!
Tell me, Miss March, are you happy so far
From the clang and the beat of our turbulent street?
Quite often I think of our days in New York.
Though of course since you went I have quite content.’

(Rips the letter up)
ACH!
I wake up in the morning and all that I hear is the absence of sound.
YES!
My peace is disturbed but the ruckus is me as my thought run aground.
I wanted a life by myself in these rooms.
But now all around me another life looms.
Who asked her to come and go and to leave me like that?
And now she expects me to send her a note?
With words, if I spoke, that would stick in my throat!
Who asked her to change how I live, how I think, how I am?

She asks how I am.
How can I reply?
I go through my daily routine.
I give lessons, I wait.
Time goes by.

Yet lately I find there is pleasure in humming a silly tune.
And some days I go to the park and I sit there all afternoon.
Some evenings I swear I can hear a door slam.
The house is far to quiet now.
That is how I am.

Yet I find, as I wait on my tables
And serve them their baskets of bread
I can’t help but think
As they pick out a drink
Of what I would order instead…

I’d order love
Delicious, well-seasoned and rare
I’d order love
A big enough portion to share
Bring me all of the heartache
A small side of woe
That flavor of longing
That I long to know
I don’t need a menu
Just someone to care for my heart
Yes, I’d order love
There’s no better dish to start

I’d order love
That’s spicy and steaming and hot
Oh, I’d order love
So juicy – it hits the spot
I crave nights full of passion
All drizzled with lust
Breakfast in bed
Is an absolute must
Then bring on the marriage
But don’t top it off with divorce
Yes, I’d order love
It’s the very best second course

I’m tired of always observing
Loving couples, all dreamy and sweet
For years, I’ve been patiently waiting
When’s it gonna be my time to eat?
This lack of attention’s unnerving
I fear that I’m losing my grip

If cupid keeps up this substandard service
I’m screwing him out of his tip!
He don’t get no tip!
Big finish!

I’d order love
Appetizer, main course and dessert – ball change!
Yes, I’d order love
Even if it was peppered with hurt
‘Cause at least I could savor
The way that it feels
To not eat alone
For each one of my meals

There’s a lot on the menu –
I’d have something else if I could
But I’d order love
‘Cause there’s nothing else earth
That tastes so good!
Mmm, it tastes so good
Oh so very good
So good, so good

What a way to feel,
I could touch the sky;
What a way to feel,
I have found my guy!

It’s love at last,
I’ve someone to cheer for;
It’s love at last,
I’ve learned what we’re here for!

I’ve heard it said
You’ll know it when you see it;
Well, I see it,
I know it,
It’s love!

It’s love, it’s love,
Well who would have thought it!
If this is love,
Then why have I fought it?

What a way to feel,
I could touch the sky;
What a way to feel,
I have found my guy!

It’s love at last,
I’ve someone to cheer for;
It’s love at last,
I’ve learned what we’re here for!

I’ve heard it said
You’ll know it when you see it;
Well, I see it,
I know it,
I feel it,
It’s love!

I’ll never say no to you,
Whatever you say or do,
If you ask me to wait for a lifetime.
You know I’ll gladly wait
For a lifetime or two

Just to look at you.
I’ll smile, when you say “Be Glad,”
I’ll weep if you want me sad.
Today is tomorrow
If you want it so.
I’ll stay or I’ll go,
But I’ll never say no…

If you start at the top, you’re certain to drop,
You’ve got to watch your timing;
Better begin by climbing up, up, up the ladder.
If you’re going to last you can’t make it fast, man,
Nobody starts a winner, give me a slow beginner,
Easy does it, conserve your fine endurance;
Easy does it, for that’s your life insurance.
While you are young,take it rung after rung after rung.

It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish.
It’s not how you go, it’s how you land.
A hundred to one shot, they call him a klutz
Can out-run the favorite, all he needs is the guts.
Your final return will not diminish
And you can be the cream of the crop;
It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish,
And you’re gonna finish on top.

She is moon to my night
She’s my love
She is sight, sound, and light
She’s my love
Still the one heart I own
Hungers lost and alone
For my love’s never known
She’s my love

Still the one heart I own
Hungers lost and alone
For my love’s never known
She’s my love

MENDEL
I love you dear.
I think you’re swell.
You’re never near me close enough to tell
If I’m delightful or not.

I need your wrist.
I praise your thigh.
There’s not a guy,
There’s not a piece of paper,
There’s not a man in pants
Who could love you the same as I!

Oftentimes, lovers are crazy people.
Sometimes they kill each other.
Just like a biblical brother
Did to his biblical brother
Back in biblical times.

TRINA
Biblical times?

MARVIN
Biblical times?

MENDEL
Uh, biblical times.

Oh, those’ biblical times!
I love your eyes.
I love your face.
I want you by my side to take my place
If I get sick or detained.

Don’t brush your hair, you?re perfect.
Don’t start to cry.
There’s not a guy,
There’s not a horse or zebra,
There’s not a giant man
Who could love you the same as I!

Forget that giant man,
He won’t love you the same as I!
I’m not a giant man,
But I’ll love you until,
Love you until,
I die!