Mood: Comedic
Subterms
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[post_author] => 733
[post_date] => 2017-03-22 15:20:53
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[post_content] =>
Love is beautiful, love is swell
Love is as sweet as a nut
Love is grander than tongue can tell
Love is remarkable but
Look at what it did to Romeo
It dealt poor Romey an awful blow
If love could do that to Romeo
What chance have I with love?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfljnbflUzk [post_title] => What Chance Have I With Love? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => what-chance-have-i-with-love [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-26 12:34:40 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-26 16:34:40 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=8089 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [1] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8083 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-22 14:59:22 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-22 18:59:22 [post_content] =>
A waiter, who notices that Aaron and Casey are not having a good time, performs a rousing crowdpleaser to lighten the mood.WAITER
I've made my career as a waiter
And my job, well, it never gets old
I've seen romances bloom
Wild affairs meet their doom
Every night, some new sight to behold
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WneJ3UZZ3c [post_title] => I'd Order Love [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => id-order-love [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-26 12:36:30 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-26 16:36:30 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=8083 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8053 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-22 12:52:37 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-22 16:52:37 [post_content] =>
Mendel makes a clumsy and offbeat marriage proposal to Trina.JASON (spoken) This is how you make a marriage proposal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vDi8fI0hzc [post_title] => Marriage Proposal [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => marriage-proposal [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-09-02 22:00:28 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-09-03 02:00:28 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=8053 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [3] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8032 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-22 10:31:31 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-22 14:31:31 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Vocal Book
H.C. Curry and his sons anticipate the return of his daughter Lizzie. HC
All right! All right! I’m comin’! I’m comin’! Dang telephone’s getting’ To be a nuisance.
Rings sometimes twice a day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFHM-a_zipk [post_title] => Lizzie's Comin' Home [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => lizzies-comin-home [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-22 10:31:31 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-22 14:31:31 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=8032 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [4] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7983 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-21 21:12:53 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-22 01:12:53 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Georges, who owns La Cage aux Folles, teaches the drag queen Albin to become less flamboyant. GEORGES
I want you to pick up that piece of toast like a man!
Think of this as
Masculine toast and Masculine butter,
Ready for spreading by a Masculine hand.
Pick up that knife and make believe it's a machete.
It'll take all your strength and steady nerves
For hacking your way through the cherry preserves.
Think of John Wayne, and Jean Paul Belmondo.
Think of the Legionnaires and Charlemagne's men.
So like a stevedore you grab your cup
And if God forbid that your pinky pops up,
You can climb back up the mountain once again.
Have you got that?
ALBIN
I think so!
GEORGES
Don't think so! You're a man!
ALBIN
I'm a man!
RENAUD
You're a man!
ALBIN
I'm a man!
MME. RENAUD
You're a man!
ALBIN
I said I'm a man.
MME. RENAUD
Oh, Albin
GEORGES
About that voice of yours.
Grunt like an ape, and growl like a tiger.
Give us a roaring, snorting masculine laugh!
ALBIN
Ah ah ah ah ah ah!
GEORGES
Try to remember that John Wayne was not soprano.
Try making it rough and gruff and low.
ALBIN
Ha Ha!
GEORGES
Try more of John Wayne and less Brigitte Bardodt!
RENAUD
Think of De Gaulle and pick up Rasputin.
MME. RENAUD
Think like you're Daniel marching into the den.
GEORGES
While trying to join the burly brutes,
If you forget that your nylons are under your boots
GEORGES, RENAUD, MME. RENAUD, & FRANCIS
You can climb back up the mountain once again...
ALL
Think Ghengis Kan (Think!)
and think Taras Bulba (Think!)
(Think! Think! Think!)
Think of Atilla's Huns and Robin Hood's men.
(Hup! Hup!)
Try not to weaken or collapse;
If they discover the petticoat under your chaps
You can climb back up the mountain once again.
Woah! Yeah!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SF2Pj8Q_Iig [post_title] => Masculinity [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => masculinity [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-21 21:12:53 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-22 01:12:53 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7983 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [5] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7974 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-21 17:46:08 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-21 21:46:08 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
Guido Contini, a film director suffering from a midlife crisis, struggles to distinguish his ambitious interior world from reality. I would like to be here, I would like to be there.
I would like to everywhere at once.
I know that's a contradiction in terms,
And it's a problem, Especially when
My body's clearing forty As my mind is nearing ten.
I can hardly stay up, And I can't get to Sleep,
And I don't want to wake tomorrow morning
At the bottom of some heap,
But why take it so seriously?
After all, there's nothing at
Stake here-only me.
I want to be young, And I want to be old.
I would like to be wise before my time
And yet be foolish and brash and bold.
I would like the universe to get down
On it's knees
And say, "Guido, whatever you please,
It's okay. Even if it's impossible, we'll
Arrange it."
That's all that I want.
I am lusting for more. Should I settle for less?
I ask you, what's a good thing for, if
Not for taking it to excess?
One limitation I dearly regret,
There's only one of me I've ever met.
I would like to have another me to
Travel along with myself.
I would even like to be able to sing a
Duet with myself.
I would like to be here (Sing along with myself in a song)
To be there (Walking down a lane now, everywhere)
Everywhere (Everywhere. That's a contradiction in terms. I want to)
Here (With a counter-)
Here (Melody in the)
Here (Top of the morning to you, Guido)
Guido (Guido)
Guido (Guido)
Guido (Me)
Me (Me).
I want to be Proust or the Marquis De Sade,
I would like to be Christ, Mohammed, Buddha
But not have to believe in God,
And you know I mean it with all of my heart.
It's the end if something important doesn't start.
I want to be young, But I have to be old.
What I want is a tale of sound and fury
That some idiot went and told.
I would like the universe to get down
On it's knees
And say, "Guido, whatever you please, it's okay.
Even if it's ridiculous, we'll arrange it."
So arrange it!
ALL
Arrange it!
GUIDO
That's all that I want!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRFfRS06eIk [post_title] => Guido's Song [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => guidos-song [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-21 17:47:58 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-21 21:47:58 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7974 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [6] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7965 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-21 16:47:52 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-21 20:47:52 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Oscar, a selfish impresario, tries to convince his colleagues that he will regain success even after four flops. OSCAR (spoken)
Traitors! Look at the two of you: Judas Iscariot and his sister Sue.
You think I’m finished? They all think I’m finished. Just because I've had a failure...
All right, four failures. But what glorious ones!
Let them kick me when I'm down... but every time they think I’m through…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyFnaDAeXp8 [post_title] => I Rise Again [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => i-rise-again [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-21 16:47:52 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-21 20:47:52 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7965 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [7] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7821 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-17 14:55:59 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-17 18:55:59 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Mitch, the Comfort Counselor, commends the last audience member for making it this far in the Bee. MR. PANCH (spoken)
I’m sorry. You missed the silent q.
MITCH
My friend you will be missed
But now go with dignity
This ends but first on our list
You can go with pride
You’ve been the best looking dude we’ve had all day
You’re a real smart dude as well
Now go home and spell
Give you squeeze some affection
Come on make a connection
Spell with patience and care
That dude is my prayer
BOY SPELLERS
Goodbye
GIRL SPELLERS
Goodbye
BOY SPELLERS
Goodbye
GIRL SPELLERS
Goodbye
BOY SPELLERS
Goodbye, Goodbye
GIRL SPELLERS
Goodbye
BOY SPELLERS
Goodbye
GIRL SPELLERS
Goodbye
SPELLERS
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye
MITCH
Whoa!
All you need
Is strength to pretend it’s no big deal
Try to look like you don’t care
Try not to cry lord
In front of your brother
Don’t embarrass your mother
ALL
Not your mother
MITCH
Make your exit with care
That is my prayer
Goodbye, Goodbye
ALL
Goodbye, Goodbye
Bye, bye, bye Whomever
Goodbye, Goodbye
Goodbye, Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
MITCH
Goodbye
(spoken) Whomever!
ALL
Goodbye!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9oPIKKri8U [post_title] => Prayer of the Comfort Counselor [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => prayer-comfort-counselor [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-17 14:55:59 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-17 18:55:59 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7821 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [8] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7810 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-17 12:57:24 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-17 16:57:24 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Tateh, a Latvian Jewish artist, has now become a director of motion pictures. TATEH:
Anyone can get lucky in america. I remind myself of this everyday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuJ1amzs4aU [post_title] => Buffalo Nickel Photoplay Inc. [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => buffalo-nickel-photoplay-inc [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-17 12:57:24 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-17 16:57:24 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7810 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [9] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7801 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-17 11:56:29 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-17 15:56:29 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Vocal Book
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElfWHoE-_6M [post_title] => Quasimodo [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => quasimodo [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-17 11:56:29 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-17 15:56:29 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7801 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [10] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7797 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-17 11:46:14 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-17 15:46:14 [post_content] =>
Og, who has feelings for both Sharon and Susan, contemplates the fickleness of love.Oh my heart is beating wildly
And it's all because you're here.
When I'm not near The girl I love,
I love the girl I'm near.
Ev'ry femme that flutters by me
Is a flame that must be fanned.
If I can't fondle the hand I'm fond of,
I fondle the hand at hand.
My heart's in a pickle,
It's constantly fickle
And not too partickle, I fear.
When I'm not near The girl I love,
I love the girl I'm near.
What if they're tall and tender What if they're small and slender
Long as they've got that gender
I surrender
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul25d4gkDFM [post_title] => When I'm Not Near the Girl I Love [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => im-not-near-girl-love [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-17 01:31:21 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-17 05:31:21 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7797 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [11] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7650 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-10 17:01:48 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-10 22:01:48 [post_content] =>
John Jasper introduces himself and his inner disturbed feelings.Another trifling day, One more soul-stifling day Of blinding pain:
Boredom grinds my brain Down to the grain.
A man could go quite mad And not be all that bad.
Consider each superb, Disturbing urge you've ever had
To curse aloud in church Or choke each bloke who
Throws a smile your way...
Be that as it may.
A man could have bad dreams And not be all he seems.
Yet not be far-removed From all the noblest of extremes.
Sometimes I think that sanity Is just a passing fad.
A man could go quite mad.
Unblessed are the dull. One ceaseless, peaceless lull.
Some wondrous night,
Storm-struck thund'rous light
Will cast me right
A sculptor lacking arms, A sorc'ror lacking charms,
A fiend who frightens no one For there's no one that he harms.
Whose clutches clutch At only desp'rate respite
From this dim tableau!
Knowing this is so, I hide myself in thought
Where one cannot be caught
And feed on dreams that contradicts each
Edict I've been taught
And if someday I lose my way and mind,
You'll find me glad -
A man could go quite, Man could go quite,
Man could go quite mad!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fn-h58dOLNg [post_title] => A Man Could Go Quite Mad [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => man-go-quite-mad [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-17 01:34:24 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-17 05:34:24 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7650 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [12] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7629 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-10 12:24:03 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-10 17:24:03 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Antipholus of Syracuse sings as the Sergeant drags him off to jail. Come with me
Where the food is free
Where the landlord never comes near you
Be a guest in a house of rest
Where the best of fellows can cheer you.
There's your own little room
So cool, not too much light
Where you're one man for whom
No wife who waits up at night
When day ends
You have lots of friends
Who will guard you well while you slumber
Safe from battle and strife
Safe from the wind and gale
Come with me to jail
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0hnbOSdTT8 [post_title] => Come With Me [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => come-with-me [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-10 12:24:03 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-10 17:24:03 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7629 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [13] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7555 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-08 23:23:24 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-09 04:23:24 [post_content] =>
Juno laments that she cannot find love in Olympus or Earth. The breeze is chasing the zepher
The moon is chasing the sea
The bull is chasing the heifer
But nobody's chasing me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilzmpBJlnG0 [post_title] => Nobody's Chasing Me [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => nobodys-chasing-me [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-08 23:23:24 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-09 04:23:24 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7555 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 2 [filter] => raw ) [14] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7551 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-08 23:12:20 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-09 04:12:20 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Rosemary, a young secretary, dreams of a future living with Finch, a window cleaner. New Rochelle, New Rochelle,
That's the place where the mansion will be
For me and the darling bright young man
I've picked out for marrying me.
He'll do well, I can tell.
So it isn't a moment too soon
To plan on my life in New Rochelle,
The wife of my darling tycoon.
I'll be so happy to keep his dinner warm
While he goes onward and upward;
Happy to keep his dinner warm
Till he comes wearily home from down town.
I'll be there waiting until his mind is clear
While he looks through me, right through me;
Waiting to say, "Good evening, dear.
I'm pregnant. What's new with you from down town?"
Oh, to be loved by a man I respect;
To bask in the glow of his perfectly understandable neglect.
Oh, to belong in the aura of his frown--darling busy frown.
Such heaven--
Wearing the wifely uniform
While he goes onward and upward.
Happy to keep his dinner warm
Till he comes wearily home from down town.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePPgEdclgoA [post_title] => Happy to Keep His Dinner Warm [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => happy-keep-dinner-warm [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-08 23:13:32 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-09 04:13:32 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7551 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [15] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7519 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-08 19:57:30 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-09 00:57:30 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
Michelle shines on stage while trying to restore her popularity. The little old lady sat on the porch of the farm-house.
The little old lady rocked back and forth and crocheted.
"Oh, listen to the cricket, look at the rooster, smell the hay," I told her.
"And see the pretty little egg that the hen just laid."
The little old lady took off her glasses and squinted.
And how she responded literally had me floored.
She said: "It's to meet someone who appreciates
The beauty that nature initiates."
It's sweet to hear, but me, my dear, I'm truly bored.
I miss those city lights, those sparkling city lights,
Those twinkling city lights blurring my eyes.
I love those city lights, the color of city sights
That shine under city lights tinting the skies.
New mown hay gives me hay fever.
There's the rooster, where's my cleaver?
So laid back, my mind might crack,
And when the thresher's up my pressure's up.
City lights, oh, I long for those city lights,
The bulbs of those beaming brights beckoning me there.
Be there.
Take the crickets and go shove 'em,
Urban crises, how I love 'em!
Grime and grit and pretty city lights.
Walking lanes to pick a daisy,
That could drive a person crazy.
Home-made bread lies here like lead,
And Polly's peach preserves--
Oh, please, my nerves!
City lights, how I long for those city lights,
The bulbs of those beaming brights beckoning me there.
Be there.
Sties and stables sure are smelly,
Let me sniff some Kosher deli,
Brightly lit by pretty city lights.
Pluck your lilies of the valley,
Let me sally up some alley
Dimly lit by pretty city lights.
Country air means zilch to me,
I won't breathe nothing I can't see.
So let me quit and hit those pretty city lights.
Hit them city lights!
Love them city lights!
Fairs and socials ain't no pluses,
I saw more on cross-town buses
Brightly lit by pretty city lights.
Hold that udder and churn that butter,
Me, I'd rather shoot some gutter
Dimly lit by pretty city lights.
Slop those sows, go on and fill your pails,
Honey, just let me plant my buns down in Bloomingdales.
Yes, let me quit and hit those pretty city lights.
Love them city lights!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT5vlv-2564 [post_title] => City Lights [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => city-lights [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-08 19:57:30 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-09 00:57:30 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7519 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [16] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7483 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-07 19:50:13 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-08 00:50:13 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
A woman is blasting her unfaithful lover. There he goes as usual, my man
Breaking my foolish heart
I really don't know what to do about him
I've told myself I've got to do without him
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un3JE346h4A [post_title] => If You Hadn't But You Did [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => if-you-hadnt-but-you-did [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-07 19:50:13 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-08 00:50:13 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7483 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [17] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7477 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-07 19:17:07 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-08 00:17:07 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
At the musical's opening, Frenchy and the girls perform for their male patrons.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ITqbEMi3Kw [post_title] => Ladies [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => ladies [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-07 19:17:07 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-08 00:17:07 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7477 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [18] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7394 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-03 17:36:44 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-03 22:36:44 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Berthe, Pippin's grandmother, reminds him to worry less and live a little. BERTHE
When you are as old as I, my dear
And I hope that you never are
You will woefully wonder why, my dear
Through your cataracts and catarrh
You could squander away or sequester
A drop of a precious year
For when your best days are yester
The rest'er twice as dear....
What good is a field on a fine summer night
If you sit all alone with the weeds?
Or a succulent pear if with each juicy bite
You spit out your teeth with the seeds?
Before it's too late stop trying to wait
For fortune and fame you're secure of
For there's one thing to be sure of, mate:
There's nothing to be sure of!
Oh, it's time to start livin'
Time to take a little from this world we're given
Time to take time, cause spring will turn to fall
In just no time at all....
I've never wondered if I was afraid
When there was a challenge to take
I never thought about how much I weighed
When there was still one piece of cake
Maybe it's meant the hours I've spent
Feeling broken and bent and unwell
But there's still no cure sole heaven-sent
As the chance to raise some hell
Everybody....
ALL
Oh, it's time to start livin'
Time to take a little from this world we're given
Time to take time, cause spring will turn to fall
In just no time at all....
BERTHE Now, Sages tweet that age is sweet
Good deeds and good work earns you laurels
But what could make you feel more obsolete
Than being noted for your morals?
Give me a man who is handsome and strong
Someone who's stalwart and steady
Give me a night that's romantic and long
And give me a month to get ready
Now I could waylay some aging roue
And persuade him to play in some cranny
But it's hard to believe I'm being led astray
By a man who calls me granny
ALL
Oh, it's time to start livin'
Time to take a little from this world we're given
Time to take time, for spring will turn to fall
In just no time at all....
BERTHE
So when the drearies do attack
And a siege of the sads begins
I just throw these regal shoulders back
And lift these noble chins
Here is a secret I never have told
Maybe you'll understand why
I believe if I refuse to grow old
I can stay young till I die
Now, I've known the fears of sixty-six years
I've had troubles and tears by the score
But the only thing I'd trade them for
Is sixty-seven more...
ALL
Oh, it's time to start livin'
Time to take a little from this world we're given
Time to take time, for spring will turn to fall
In just no time at all....
BERTHE
Oh, it's time to start livin'
Time to keep takin' from this world we're given
You are my time, so I'll throw off my shawl
And watching your flings be flung all over
Makes me feel young all over
ALL
In just no time at all!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDRIRPMBIMo [post_title] => No Time At All [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => no-time-at-all [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-07 16:59:56 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-07 21:59:56 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7394 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [19] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7387 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-03 17:06:17 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-03 22:06:17 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Mimi Paragon, a ship captain, rants and raves about embarrassing travelers and their awkward behaviors overseas. Travel they say improves the mind,
An irritating platitude, which frankly, entrenous,
Is very far from true.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TV4WSMsu4Y [post_title] => Why Do the Wrong People Travel? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => wrong-people-travel [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-03 17:06:17 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-03 22:06:17 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7387 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [20] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7373 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-03 12:06:57 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-03 17:06:57 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music *Sheet Music is an excerpt of the song
Ruth describes her offbeat, nearly affection-less relationship with her husband.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOFshT6KvAU [post_title] => It's a Helluva Way to Run a Love Affair [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => helluva-way-run-love-affair [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-03 12:06:57 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-03 17:06:57 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7373 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [21] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7305 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-02 14:48:42 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-02 19:48:42 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Sister Robert Anne, a nun who traded fame for the convent, sings about her love for the stage.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7V4h_N6sZY [post_title] => I Just Want to Be a Star [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => just-want-star [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-02 14:48:42 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-02 19:48:42 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7305 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [22] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7293 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-02-28 20:56:24 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-01 01:56:24 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Carmen, a producer, reminds her estranged daughter Bambi (real name Elaine) that her main goal is to draw a profit from shows. CARMEN
I've never been known as one of those stupid clucks [pause] Elaine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDrNaP-dZ0M [post_title] => It's A Business [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => its-a-business [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-28 20:56:24 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-01 01:56:24 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7293 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [23] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7272 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-02-27 16:46:50 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-02-27 21:46:50 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
Edie regrets failing to succeed in New York City, whereas her mother Edith regrets nothing and takes no blame for Edie’s shortcomings. EDITH (spoken)
I have no complaints. I have everything I ever wanted.
Moist. Light.
Gaily decorated.
Every tasty morsel,
Savored, chewed and masticated.
Young. Bright.
Rich and thin and clever.
Like a second helping?
Sister, would I ever!
Sulk. Moan.
Blame it on the mother.
When I'm dead and buried
You won't get another.
As the world waltzed by
And Edie sat...
I ate the cake I had
And loved it.
Oh, I ate the cake I had,
No thanks to daddy.
I ate the cake... I had.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoOwlr7xd-A [post_title] => The Cake I Had [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => the-cake-i-had [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-27 16:46:50 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-27 21:46:50 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7272 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [24] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 5735 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-12-15 23:23:29 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-12-16 03:23:29 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Vocal Book
After Michael criticizes Agnes’ expensive shopping habits, the wife contemplates being a saucy divorcee.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KyXfc9LYKc [post_title] => Flaming Agnes [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => flaming-agnes [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-24 14:22:59 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-24 19:22:59 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=5735 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [25] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 5209 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-10-20 20:26:28 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-10-21 00:26:28 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
The schoolteacher Miss Thorn is comforting Tina’s mother, Judy, over Tina’s disappointment in being the understudy in the school play.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quKYinnpjco [post_title] => Teaching Third Grade [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => teaching-third-grade [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-24 14:42:05 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-24 19:42:05 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=5209 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [26] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4889 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-10-02 12:14:29 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-10-02 16:14:29 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
The emcee Mick uses the vocal talents of Shelby, a former cook, to publicize a marathon. SHELBY
A long time ago
A lady whose name was Carmen
Drove a man wild
Until he was out of control
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFbsSYT8wkw [post_title] => Everybody's Girl [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => everybodys-girl [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-23 16:15:37 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-23 21:15:37 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4889 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [27] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4798 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-09-28 12:06:30 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-09-28 16:06:30 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Vicki, a very groomed housewife, sings about her cheerful marriage with Harold. VICKI
You gotta love that man
He's like my personal angel
I've always wanted the kind of life
That I've been having as Harold's wife
What a catch I have caught
He would buy me the moon
If the moon could be bought
I'm telling you -
You gotta love that man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATtX_m97DJw [post_title] => Life With Harold [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => life-with-harold [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-23 16:57:14 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-23 21:57:14 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4798 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [28] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4759 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-09-27 17:32:59 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-09-27 21:32:59 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
A seemingly introverted woman reveals that there's more to her than meets the eye. The sign says I'm Miss Byrd
And that's my name
I'm one of those people who all look the same
At work I'm hardly seen
I come and go But I know something that people don't know Every one who sees me thinks
That I'm that dull Miss Byrd
I could blow that myth apart
But i don't say a word
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzegKeXmvf4 [post_title] => Miss Byrd [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => miss-byrd [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-23 17:53:32 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-23 22:53:32 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4759 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [29] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4730 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-09-26 17:59:21 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-09-26 21:59:21 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
The Mad Hatter raves on about how she wants to rule Wonderland. Well Hello, there, it's me
With how it's gonna be,
Settle down and listen up good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc9PICpnAhI [post_title] => Mad Hatter [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => mad-hatter [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-23 21:43:23 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-24 02:43:23 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4730 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [30] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4703 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-09-26 11:46:23 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-09-26 15:46:23 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
I look at all them pictures in the magazines
Where they show you all the models in designer jeans
All the girls are skinny are their hair is flat
Why would we want to look like that?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeBnPRonT7E [post_title] => Don't Call Me Trailer Trash [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => dont-call-me-trailer-trash [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-23 22:21:30 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-24 03:21:30 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4703 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [31] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4693 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-09-26 11:17:19 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-09-26 15:17:19 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Ella, a chimney sweeper, is magically turned into the movie star Passionella. Look at me I am gorgeous.
I am absolutely gorgeous.
There's this avalanche of beauty in one woman and I'm it.
Ahh.
Oh look at the way all of the parts fit together.
Stunning.
See the way my nose stopped running.
I was positive this creature was there inside here ol' me.
All bottled up waiting to get free.
Now I see the real me.
Look at this, look at that.
Look at those, let me just feel me.
Beautiful, glamorous, radiant, ravishing.
Look at the hair.
Look at this shape.
Look everywhere.
I am such a divine me.
Every studio will sign me.
My cup runneth over.
Whoever saw such a complete wow!
Nobody will say no to me now.
No one, is as, gorgeous, as.
Me-Ahhhhhhh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjVSqEURLUo [post_title] => Gorgeous [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => gorgeous [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-24 01:00:37 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-24 06:00:37 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4693 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [32] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4682 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-09-25 18:27:13 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-09-25 22:27:13 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
The cabbie Hildy Esterhazy tries to seduce the sailor Chip and brags about her talents. HILDY:
Oh, I can cook, too, on top of the rest,
My seafood's the best in the town.
And I can cook, too.
My fish can't be beat,
My sugar's the sweetest around.
I'm a man's ideal of a perfect meal
Right down to the demi-tasse.
I'm a pot of joy for a hungry boy,
Baby, I'm cookin' with gas.
Oh, I'm a gumdrop,
A sweet lollipop,
A brook trout right out of the brook,
And what's more, baby, I can cook!
Some girls make magazine covers,
Some girls keep house on a dime,
Some girls make wonderful lovers,
But what a lucky find I'm.
I'd make a magazine cover,
I do keep house on a dime,
I make a wonderful lover,
I should be paid overtime!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t062tjKmK_I [post_title] => I Can Cook Too [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => i-can-cook-too [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-24 01:09:40 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-24 06:09:40 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4682 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) ) [post_count] => 33 [current_post] => -1 [before_loop] => 1 [in_the_loop] => [post] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8089 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-22 15:20:53 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-22 19:20:53 [post_content] =>
Love is beautiful, love is swell
Love is as sweet as a nut
Love is grander than tongue can tell
Love is remarkable but
Look at what it did to Romeo
It dealt poor Romey an awful blow
If love could do that to Romeo
What chance have I with love?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfljnbflUzk [post_title] => What Chance Have I With Love? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => what-chance-have-i-with-love [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-26 12:34:40 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-26 16:34:40 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=8089 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [comment_count] => 0 [current_comment] => -1 [found_posts] => 33 [max_num_pages] => 1 [max_num_comment_pages] => 0 [is_single] => [is_preview] => [is_page] => [is_archive] => 1 [is_date] => [is_year] => [is_month] => [is_day] => [is_time] => [is_author] => [is_category] => [is_tag] => [is_tax] => 1 [is_search] => [is_feed] => [is_comment_feed] => [is_trackback] => [is_home] => [is_privacy_policy] => [is_404] => [is_embed] => [is_paged] => [is_admin] => [is_attachment] => [is_singular] => [is_robots] => [is_favicon] => [is_posts_page] => [is_post_type_archive] => [query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => 723b2df41a707f035894aba03e4c2721 [query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] => 1 [thumbnails_cached] => [allow_query_attachment_by_filename:protected] => [stopwords:WP_Query:private] => [compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array ( [0] => query_vars_hash [1] => query_vars_changed ) [compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array ( [0] => init_query_flags [1] => parse_tax_query ) )
Context & Lyrics
View Lyrics
Look at what it did to Anthony It made a "mark" out of Anthony If love could do that to Anthony What chance have I with love?
Look at what it did to Samson 'Til he lost his hair he was brave If a haircut could weaken Samson They could murder me with a shave
Louie Number Fifteen, King of France They say he suffered with each romance If love kicked him in the royal pants What chance have I An ordinary guy What chance have I with love?
Look at what it did to Adam From that bite he could not escape If an apple could finish Adam They could knock me off with a grape
Miss Lucrezia Borgia, deep in sin She poisoned her lovers when they dropped in If they wound up with a Mickey Finn What chance have I An ordinary guy What chance have I with love?
Look what love did for Reno It put Reno on the map When a woman goes to Reno It's because some man is a sap
Tommy Manville's love is not returned He sells asbestos and he has learned That with asbestos he still gets burned What chance have I An ordinary guy What chance have I with love?
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfljnbflUzk [post_title] => What Chance Have I With Love? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => what-chance-have-i-with-love [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-26 12:34:40 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-26 16:34:40 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=8089 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [1] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8083 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-22 14:59:22 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-22 18:59:22 [post_content] =>
Context & Lyrics
A waiter, who notices that Aaron and Casey are not having a good time, performs a rousing crowdpleaser to lighten the mood.
View Lyrics
Yet I find, as I wait on my tables And serve them their baskets of bread I can't help but think As they pick out a drink Of what I would order instead...
I'd order love Delicious, well-seasoned and rare I'd order love A big enough portion to share Bring me all of the heartache A small side of woe That flavor of longing That I long to know I don't need a menu Just someone to care for my heart Yes, I'd order love There's no better dish to start
I'd order love That's spicy and steaming and hot Oh, I'd order love So juicy - it hits the spot I crave nights full of passion All drizzled with lust Breakfast in bed Is an absolute must Then bring on the marriage But don't top it off with divorce Yes, I'd order love It's the very best second course
I'm tired of always observing Loving couples, all dreamy and sweet For years, I've been patiently waiting When's it gonna be my time to eat? This lack of attention's unnerving I fear that I'm losing my grip
If cupid keeps up this substandard service I'm screwing him out of his tip! He don't get no tip! Big finish!
I'd order love Appetizer, main course and dessert - ball change! Yes, I'd order love Even if it was peppered with hurt 'Cause at least I could savor The way that it feels To not eat alone For each one of my meals
There's a lot on the menu - I'd have something else if I could But I'd order love 'Cause there's nothing else earth That tastes so good! Mmm, it tastes so good Oh so very good So good, so good
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WneJ3UZZ3c [post_title] => I'd Order Love [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => id-order-love [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-26 12:36:30 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-26 16:36:30 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=8083 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8053 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-22 12:52:37 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-22 16:52:37 [post_content] =>
Context & Lyrics
Mendel makes a clumsy and offbeat marriage proposal to Trina.
View Lyrics
MENDEL I love you dear. I think you're swell. You're never near me close enough to tell If I'm delightful or not.
I need your wrist. I praise your thigh. There's not a guy, There's not a piece of paper, There's not a man in pants Who could love you the same as I!
Oftentimes, lovers are crazy people. Sometimes they kill each other. Just like a biblical brother Did to his biblical brother Back in biblical times.
TRINA Biblical times?
MARVIN Biblical times?
MENDEL Uh, biblical times.
Oh, those' biblical times! I love your eyes. I love your face. I want you by my side to take my place If I get sick or detained.
Don't brush your hair, you?re perfect. Don't start to cry. There's not a guy, There's not a horse or zebra, There's not a giant man Who could love you the same as I!
Forget that giant man, He won't love you the same as I! I'm not a giant man, But I'll love you until, Love you until, I die!
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vDi8fI0hzc [post_title] => Marriage Proposal [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => marriage-proposal [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-09-02 22:00:28 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-09-03 02:00:28 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=8053 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [3] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8032 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-22 10:31:31 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-22 14:31:31 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
H.C. Curry and his sons anticipate the return of his daughter Lizzie.
View Lyrics
Hello! Yeah, this is HC. Un-huh. What do you mean today? She’s here today? Oh, my god! Well, thanks, Mildred. Thanks for callin’. Boys, I got some good news! Your sister’s comin’ Home early.
NOAH & JIM Yippeeee!
HC Boys, i got some bad news. Your sister’s comin’ Home early.
JIM Huh’
HC She’ll be here directly in five minutes!
NOAH Oh my god!
JIM Now what’s so bad about that? All we gotta do is-
NOAH & JIM Clean up!
HC When lizzie is here The house is full of laughter. When lizzie is here It has a woman’t touch.
When lizzie is here We get together after Our supper is over, Sit in the parlor, Singing together, When lizzie is here. When lizzie is here, I start to recall her maw.
NOAH & JIM And lizzie is comin’ Home!
HC Lizzie is on the way!
HC, NOAH & JIM Lizzie’s arrivin’ Today! Got to get busy!
HC Fix up for lizzie! Lizzie’s comin’’
HC, NOAH & JIM Home!
NOAH When lizzie is here I don’t get indigestion. When lizzie is here My appetite is fine.
When lizzie is here There’s never any question There’s beefsteak with gravy. Hot buttered biscuits, Fresh apple crumble. When lizzie is here. When lizzie is here, I eat’ll i nearly pop!
HC And lizzie is comin’ Home!
JIM Lizzie is on the way!
HC, NOAH & JIM Lizzie’s arrivin’ Today!
NOAH & JIM Got to get busy,
HC Fix up for lizzie,
HC, NOAH & JIM Lizzie’s comin’ Home!
NOAH C’mon, jimmy, get a move on!
JIM I’m tryin’ Noah!
NOAH Well try harder!
JIM When lizzie is here I never feel so gawky. When lizzie is here I start to gettin’ Talky.
She listens for hours, Askin’ Me questions. I know the answers When lizzie is here. When lizzie is here, I kinda forget’ I’m dumb.
HC & NOAH And lizzie is comin’ Home!
JIM Lizzie is on the way!
HC, NOAH & JIM Lizzie’s arrivin’ Today! (hallelujah!) Got to get busy, Fix up for lizzie. Got to get hoppin’! No time for stoppin’! Lizzie’s comin’ ‘ Home!
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFHM-a_zipk [post_title] => Lizzie's Comin' Home [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => lizzies-comin-home [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-22 10:31:31 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-22 14:31:31 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=8032 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [4] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7983 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-21 21:12:53 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-22 01:12:53 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
Georges, who owns La Cage aux Folles, teaches the drag queen Albin to become less flamboyant.
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Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SF2Pj8Q_Iig [post_title] => Masculinity [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => masculinity [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-21 21:12:53 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-22 01:12:53 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7983 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [5] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7974 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-21 17:46:08 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-21 21:46:08 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
Context & Lyrics
Guido Contini, a film director suffering from a midlife crisis, struggles to distinguish his ambitious interior world from reality.
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Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRFfRS06eIk [post_title] => Guido's Song [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => guidos-song [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-21 17:47:58 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-21 21:47:58 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7974 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [6] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7965 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-21 16:47:52 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-21 20:47:52 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
Oscar, a selfish impresario, tries to convince his colleagues that he will regain success even after four flops.
View Lyrics
(sung) I rise again Full size again, And give those doubting Thomases a walloping surprise again! I sneer at them, I jeer at them, I thumb my nose and bite my thumb and bare my royal rear at them!
With my back up against the wall, With the wolves yapping at my heels, With the noose tightening ‘round my neck, That's the time I know how really living feels.
With the wall up against my back, With the water rising to my chin, Chained and bound tight inside a sack, That's the plight that I'm delighted in!
For I have powers like Aladdin's Genie did. I do escape tricks better than Houdini did. From the black of my cul-de-sac, Do I crack and fall? No – I attack! With my back up against the wall…
OLIVER & OWEN Listen boss, you've got to use your brain. Everyone you owe will meet the train
OSCAR I Shine again, All is mine again, A fighter rising from the canvas at the count of nine - -
OLIVER & OWEN Nine? The count is ten! You're out! The drums of doom are knocking. Your theatre and your offices The bankers will be locking.
OSCAR I spit at them, Spray flit at them. I'll face those grim Goliaths with my sling shot And I’ll hit at them.
With my back up against the wall, Angry birds pecking with their beaks Or submerged, sealed inside a tomb – That challenge brings the roses to my cheeks.
So rally 'round me now, my musketeering men. We’ll turn that raging lynch mob into cheering men! From the false reports of my demise, Like the phoenix right before their eyes With my back up against the wall…
OLIVER & OWEN With his back up against the wall…
OSCAR I rise again!
OLIVER & OWEN Ah-ah-ah
ALL THREE I (He'll) rise again!
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyFnaDAeXp8 [post_title] => I Rise Again [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => i-rise-again [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-21 16:47:52 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-21 20:47:52 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7965 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [7] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7821 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-17 14:55:59 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-17 18:55:59 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
Mitch, the Comfort Counselor, commends the last audience member for making it this far in the Bee.
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Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9oPIKKri8U [post_title] => Prayer of the Comfort Counselor [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => prayer-comfort-counselor [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-17 14:55:59 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-17 18:55:59 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7821 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [8] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7810 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-17 12:57:24 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-17 16:57:24 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
Tateh, a Latvian Jewish artist, has now become a director of motion pictures.
View Lyrics
The first nickel I ever earned, I keep in a little silver frame. It's how I gave my company a name, Reminding me how very far I came!
I was a Maker of the silhouettes Who made a small improvement- A little book of silhouettes That simulated movement. Well, people seemed to like it, Soon the money's going clink! And I'm buffalo nickel photoplay, inc!
I go from Silhouettes to photos. I invent a small projector, And soon, I'm making movies And they're calling me director!
An industry is dawning And I'm standing on the brink- Mister buffalo nickel photoplay, inc!
Life shines from the shadow screen Comical, yet infinitely true. People love to see what people do, Here where everyone is someone new.
Such tales from the shadow screen! Little men who never get the breaks, Fighting on till something fin'lly takes- What a lovely movie it all makes!
Well, business is booming I'm happy to say. I just made a contract To film for pathe A series of chapters That end in suspense- Each week, see what's next For another five cents!
And I am Waking every morning Filled with such anticipation! I frame the sea, I frame the sky. And this is my vacation.
I shake your hand, I kiss your hand, I buy you all a drink! And maybe if you chance to see A movie that was made by me Remember when the name goes by That's ash-k-e-n-a-z-y
The baron, now american, Who happened once to think Of silhouette and flicker book And movies as they're meant to look And buffalo nickel photoplay, inc! Action!
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuJ1amzs4aU [post_title] => Buffalo Nickel Photoplay Inc. [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => buffalo-nickel-photoplay-inc [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-17 12:57:24 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-17 16:57:24 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7810 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [9] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7801 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-17 11:56:29 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-17 15:56:29 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
View Lyrics
No lyrics at this time, if you would like to submit please email [email protected]Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElfWHoE-_6M [post_title] => Quasimodo [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => quasimodo [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-17 11:56:29 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-17 15:56:29 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7801 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [10] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7797 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-17 11:46:14 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-17 15:46:14 [post_content] =>
Context & Lyrics
Og, who has feelings for both Sharon and Susan, contemplates the fickleness of love.
View Lyrics
Always I can't refuse them Always my feet pursue them Long as they've got a bosom I woos 'em
I'm confessing a confession And I hope I'm not verbose When I'm not close to the kiss that I cling to, I cling to the kiss that's close
As I'm more and more a mortal I am more and more a case. When I'm not facing the face that I fancy. I fancy the face I face.
For Sharon I'm carin', But Susan I'm choosin' I'm faithful to whos'n is here. When I'm not near the girl I love, I love the girl I'm near.
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul25d4gkDFM [post_title] => When I'm Not Near the Girl I Love [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => im-not-near-girl-love [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-17 01:31:21 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-17 05:31:21 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7797 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [11] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7650 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-10 17:01:48 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-10 22:01:48 [post_content] =>
Context & Lyrics
John Jasper introduces himself and his inner disturbed feelings.
View Lyrics
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fn-h58dOLNg [post_title] => A Man Could Go Quite Mad [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => man-go-quite-mad [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-17 01:34:24 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-17 05:34:24 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7650 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [12] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7629 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-10 12:24:03 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-10 17:24:03 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
Antipholus of Syracuse sings as the Sergeant drags him off to jail.
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You'll never have to fetch the milk Or walk the dog at early dawn There's no -"Get up- you're late for work!" While you rest in the pearly dawn You're never bored by politics You're privileged to miss a row Of tragedies by Sophocles And diatribes by Cicero
Your brother's wife will never come On Sunday noon to bring to you Her little son who plays the lute, Her little girl to sing to you
You can commit you little "sins" And relatives won't yell "Fie!" You needn't take the annual trip To the oracle at Delphi You snore and swear and stretch and yawn In this, your strictly male house
The only way that sinners go to Heaven Is in the jail house!
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0hnbOSdTT8 [post_title] => Come With Me [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => come-with-me [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-10 12:24:03 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-10 17:24:03 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7629 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [13] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7555 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-08 23:23:24 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-09 04:23:24 [post_content] =>
Context & Lyrics
Juno laments that she cannot find love in Olympus or Earth.
View Lyrics
The cock is chasing the chicken The pea wakes up, pee-wee-wee The cat is taking a lickin' But nobody's taking me.
Nobody wants to own me And I object Nobody wants to phone me Even collect.
The leopard's chasing the leopard The chimp, some chap chimpanzee The sheep is chasing the shepherd But nobody's chasing me. Nobody! Nobody's chasing me.
The flood is chasing the levy The wolf is out on a spree The Ford is chasing the Chevvy But nobody's chasing me.
The bee is chasing petunias The queen is chasing the bee The worm is chasing the lettuce But nobody's chasing me.
Each night I get the mirror From off the shelf Each night I'm getting queerer, Chasing myself.
Ravel is chasing Debussy The avid chases the pee The gander's chasing the goosey But nobody's goosing me. Nobody! Nobody's chasing me.
The la is chasing the lama Papa is chasing Mama Monseur is chasing Madame But nobody's chasing moi.
The dove, each moment, is bolder The lark speaks muy petite Triston is chasing Isolde But nobody's chasing me.
Although I may be Juno, Believe it or not, I got a lot of you-know And you-know-what.
The snake, with passion, is shaking The pooch is chasing the flea The moose his love call is making But nobody's making me. Nobody! Nobody's chasing me!
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilzmpBJlnG0 [post_title] => Nobody's Chasing Me [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => nobodys-chasing-me [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-08 23:23:24 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-09 04:23:24 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7555 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 2 [filter] => raw ) [14] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7551 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-08 23:12:20 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-09 04:12:20 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
Rosemary, a young secretary, dreams of a future living with Finch, a window cleaner.
View Lyrics
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePPgEdclgoA [post_title] => Happy to Keep His Dinner Warm [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => happy-keep-dinner-warm [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-08 23:13:32 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-09 04:13:32 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7551 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [15] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7519 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-08 19:57:30 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-09 00:57:30 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
Context & Lyrics
Michelle shines on stage while trying to restore her popularity.
View Lyrics
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT5vlv-2564 [post_title] => City Lights [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => city-lights [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-08 19:57:30 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-09 00:57:30 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7519 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [16] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7483 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-07 19:50:13 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-08 00:50:13 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
Context & Lyrics
A woman is blasting her unfaithful lover.
View Lyrics
There he goes as usual, my man Tearing my heart apart He's made my life a mess I've got to do this I guess
Goodbye Joe, from here I kiss you Goodbye Joe, I hope I don't miss you
If you had been on the square And had treated me fair And we?d not had a tiff If you had not said I should go and jump right off The nearest cliff
If you had stayed off the make And you never had taken To coming home stiff If I had not smelled perfume With a nasty unfamiliar whiff
I'm gonna miss you, baby Things could've been teriff Ah, what's the diff?
If you had not had the cheek To stay out for a week Saying, "Back in a jiff" If you were not such a two-timing guy
If you weren't If you hadn't If you didn't
If you weren't If you hadn't If you didn't
But you have And you were And you went And you did And so goodbye
If I had not seen you Take Geraldine on the lake In your flat-bottomed skiff If you were not out with Sue With your arms around her bare midriff
If I had not seen you pen sexy letters To Gwen in your own hieroglyph If you had not left me home When had two seats for South Pacif
I'm gonna miss you, baby You were too darn prolif Ah, what's the diff?
If you were not such a hound Who when game was around Always picked up the sniff If you were not such a two-timing guy
If you weren't If you hadn't If you didn't
If you weren't If you hadn't If you didn't
But you were And you have And you went And you did And so, goodbye
If when I asked where you'd been You had not cliffed my chin With a beautiful biff Hey, if I had not always found purple Lipstick on your handkerchief
If you had not told me lies And then looked in my eyes With a smile beautif If when I caught you with Kate You had not said, ?It?s of no signif?
I'm gonna miss you, baby And I could get specif Ah, what's the diff?
If the best years of my life Weren't spent as your wife With no marriage certif If you were not such a two-timing guy
If you weren't If you hadn't
If you didn't If you weren't If you hadn't If you didn't
But you had And you were And you have And you went And you did
And so goodbye!
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un3JE346h4A [post_title] => If You Hadn't But You Did [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => if-you-hadnt-but-you-did [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-07 19:50:13 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-08 00:50:13 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7483 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [17] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7477 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-07 19:17:07 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-08 00:17:07 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
Context & Lyrics
At the musical's opening, Frenchy and the girls perform for their male patrons.
View Lyrics
No lyrics at this time, if you would like to submit please email [email protected]Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ITqbEMi3Kw [post_title] => Ladies [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => ladies [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-07 19:17:07 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-08 00:17:07 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7477 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [18] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7394 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-03 17:36:44 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-03 22:36:44 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
Berthe, Pippin's grandmother, reminds him to worry less and live a little.
View Lyrics
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDRIRPMBIMo [post_title] => No Time At All [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => no-time-at-all [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-07 16:59:56 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-07 21:59:56 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7394 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [19] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7387 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-03 17:06:17 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-03 22:06:17 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
Mimi Paragon, a ship captain, rants and raves about embarrassing travelers and their awkward behaviors overseas.
View Lyrics
Personally I've yet to find that longitude and latitude can educate those scores of monumental bores Who travel in groups and herds and troupes Of various breeds and sexes Till the whole world reels... to shouts and squeals... And the clicking of Roliflexes.
Why do the wrong people travel, travel, travel When the right people stay back home? What compulsion compels them and who the hell tells them To drag their clans to Zanzibar, instead of staying quietly in Omaha.
The Taj Mahal and the Grand Canal And the sunny French Rivera Would be less oppressed if the Middle West Would settle for somewhere rather nearer. Please do not think that I criticize or cavel At a genuine urge to roam.
But why, oh why, do the wrong people travel When the right people stay back home And mind their business When the right people stay back home And eat hot doughnuts When the right people stay back home I sometimes wonder Why the right people stay back home.
Just when you think romance is ripe it rather sharply dawns on you That each sweet serenade is for the tourist trade Any attractive native type who resolutely fawns on you Will give as his address, American Express There isn't a rock between Bangkok and the beaches of His-pianola That does not recoil from suntan oil and the gurgle of Coca-Cola
Why do the wrong people travel, travel, travel When the right people stay back home? What explains this mass mania to leave Pennsylvania And clack around like flocks of geese. Demanding dry martinis on the isles of Greece In the smallest street, where the gourmets meet, They invariably fetch up And it's hard to make them accept a steak that isn't served rare and smeared with ketchup.
Millions of tourists are churning up the gravel While they gaze at St. Peter's Dome,
But why, oh why do the wrong people travel when the right people stay back home with Cinerama when the right people stay back home with all that Kleenex when the right people stay back home I merely asking why the right people stay back home
What peculiar obsessions inspire those processions Of families from Houston Tex with all those cameras around their necks? They will take a train Or an aeroplane For an hour on the Costa Brava, And they'll see Pompeii On the only day When it's up to its ass in molten lava! It would take years to unravel, ravel, ravel Every impulse that makes them wanna roam.
But why oh WHY do the wrong people travel When the right people stay at home." And Yogie Bear-O When the right people stay back home Won't someone tell me Why the right people stay back home.
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TV4WSMsu4Y [post_title] => Why Do the Wrong People Travel? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => wrong-people-travel [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-03 17:06:17 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-03 22:06:17 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7387 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [20] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7373 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-03 12:06:57 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-03 17:06:57 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music *Sheet Music is an excerpt of the song
Context & Lyrics
Ruth describes her offbeat, nearly affection-less relationship with her husband.
View Lyrics
No lyrics at this time, if you would like to submit please email [email protected]Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOFshT6KvAU [post_title] => It's a Helluva Way to Run a Love Affair [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => helluva-way-run-love-affair [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-03 12:06:57 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-03 17:06:57 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7373 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [21] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7305 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-02 14:48:42 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-02 19:48:42 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
Sister Robert Anne, a nun who traded fame for the convent, sings about her love for the stage.
View Lyrics
No lyrics at this time, if you would like to submit please email [email protected]Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7V4h_N6sZY [post_title] => I Just Want to Be a Star [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => just-want-star [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-02 14:48:42 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-02 19:48:42 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7305 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [22] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7293 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-02-28 20:56:24 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-01 01:56:24 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
Carmen, a producer, reminds her estranged daughter Bambi (real name Elaine) that her main goal is to draw a profit from shows.
View Lyrics
BAMBI Bambi
CARMEN Who pisses away a lot of her hard earned bucks [pause] Elaine
BAMBI Bambi
CARMEN But let's face it your coloratura sucks Bambi, Though it breaks your mother's heart, Forget about the part, It's time for you to know Why I really backed this show.
You ask me for my motives Well, you needn't be so smart, It's a business. It isn't making history, It isn't making art, It's a business.
Shaw and Ibsen take 'em away, And don't bother me with Molière, Those Russians never pay.
So go on criticize me, Please, proceed with your attack, It's a business
I put one million in And I expect two million back, It's a business
So, what crime have i committed If I'm putting up a fight? It's a business
And I want those paying suckers Out there giving me the business Every night
(spoken) Am I getting through to you, Elaine?
BAMBI I'm sorry mother, but to me the theatre is a temple.
CARMEN (spoken) What so it should only be filled on shabbat? Give me a hand fellas. [they clap] Very funny. You know what I mean. Back me up.
(sung) The not for profit theatres Don't need to turn a buck That's not business
GUYS That's not business
CARMEN So give them Lysistrata And I wish them lots of luck I do business
GUYS She does business
CARMEN Dorky schmorky Money misspent You won't survive Yom Kippur You'll never get through Lent
I once knew a producer Whose pretension knew no bounds In the business
GUYS In the business
CARMEN He mounted Samuel Beckett I don't mean it like it sounds It was business
GUYS It was business
CARMEN So now he's down the crapper While I'm working in my prime It's a business
GUYS It's a business
CARMEN And the shows I do do business 'Cause I really know my business And I'm giving them the business, honey All the time
BAMBI But what about the great poets of the stage?
CARMEN (spoken) Honey i put on the ice man cometh and nobody cameth
(sung) To stage hands To the dressers To musicians in the pit It's a business
GUYS It's a business
CARMEN The owner of this premiss cleans up if we're a hit He's in business
GUYS He's in business
CARMEN Union workers don't work for free Hey Harry on the spotlight Blink twice if you agree
See!
I'm not devoid of culture But my feet are on the floor It's a business
GUYS It's a business
CARMEN I do the Kama Sutra With a Richard Rogers score That's good business
GUYS That's good business
CARMEN Yes, green's my favorite color, And I don't mean on the grass It's a business
GUYS It's a business
CARMEN And the shows I do do business, Yes I'm good at doin' business, And if you don't like my business sweetie,
Blow it out your—
GUYS Business. It's a business
CARMEN Business
ALL It's a business It's a business It's a business
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDrNaP-dZ0M [post_title] => It's A Business [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => its-a-business [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-28 20:56:24 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-01 01:56:24 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7293 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [23] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7272 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-02-27 16:46:50 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-02-27 21:46:50 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
Context & Lyrics
Edie regrets failing to succeed in New York City, whereas her mother Edith regrets nothing and takes no blame for Edie’s shortcomings.
View Lyrics
EDIE (spoken) You had a rich husband; you should've stayed with him.
EDITH (spoken) I had a perfect marriage... beautiful children... terribly successful marriage, I never had a fight in my life.
EDIE (spoken) Ha!
EDITH (spoken) I had a very, very happy, satisfying life.
EDIE (spoken) Can't be done. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. You can't.
EDITH (spoken) Ohhhh yes you can. I most certainly did have my cake and eat it, down to the last crumb.
(sung) What good is cake You have but never eat? I never could Deny myself a sweet, So I sliced my life And licked my knife And ate the cake I had.
EDIE (spoken) Can't be done, I'm telling you...
EDITH Two perfect sons I thoroughly enjoyed An absent spouse And cats to fill the void, And the tri-state's best Accompanist Oh yes, I ate the cake I had.
EDIE (spoken) I'll probably be an old maid until I die. I'll sit around with cats the rest of my life.
EDITH (spoken) When are you gonna learn, Edie? You're in this world, you know! You're not out of the world!
(sung) The days are gone When money grew on trees. The money tree Came down with elm disease. But at my age, ducks, For my two bucks I'll eat the cake I have And like it. I'll eat the cake I have.
EDIE (spoken) I think the saddest thing was my not marrying. During the war, my best friend, she was a nurse with the Red Cross... she met somebody overseas in a hospital. A Marine. Lost both of his legs at Iwo Jima. Romance was inevitable, really, given the situation. But I couldn't travel. Mother wasn't well during the war, you see.
EDITH (spoken) Gerald Gettys worshipped you - and those two nice Rockefeller fellas-
EDIE (spoken) They were horrible! Horrible!
EDITH (spoken) You just didn't want to get married. Now it's all blamed on me.
EDIE (spoken) I missed out on everything.
EDITH Gripe. Groan. Point the famous finger. Life is disappointing, Put the parent through the wringer.
EDIE (spoken) I met a Count, in Greenwich Village. He was a poet and a playwright, and he said, "Edith, I want to make an honest woman out of you." I thought that was very decent.
EDITH (spoken) He didn't have a nickel in his trousers! Not a nickel!
EDIE (spoken) Mother despised him. Gave him the pink slip. To think, I coulda been a Countess - Countess Edith!
EDITH Enough with all Your celebrated loves. You had two hands. You could have modeled gloves. Is it my fault that Your cake fell flat? That you're unmarried, Bald and fat?
EDIE (spoken) Sometimes I think I have the saddest life...
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoOwlr7xd-A [post_title] => The Cake I Had [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => the-cake-i-had [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-27 16:46:50 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-27 21:46:50 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7272 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [24] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 5735 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-12-15 23:23:29 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-12-16 03:23:29 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
After Michael criticizes Agnes’ expensive shopping habits, the wife contemplates being a saucy divorcee.
View Lyrics
That pompous, pompous, pompous, pompous ass!! Now's the time for that hat. The one I've been saving for all these years.
An eighty-five dollar hat! What do you think of that! Thirteen feathers of the pigeon family! And a bird of paradise plume!
I hid this hat for four whole years. In this great big box at the foot of the bed - Right here in this very same room! But now, my spouse, it's out of the box, And I'm gonna tell you what; If I am going to go to pot - This pot is gonna be HOT!
Say - who's that racy, middle-aged lady, Peeking underneath her veil? Why, don't you know? That's Flaming Agnes. (Her husband up and left her)
Who's that pale, available matron? Underneath the peacock's tail? Why, can't you guess? That's Flaming Agnes. (Emancipated lady!)
Used to find her sittin' in the kitchen. Mousy housewife was her name. But the day her husband up and left her - Agnes started to flame!
Now they say that nothing can save her - And they blame her husband for the blazing shame of Flaming Agnes! (vulgar dance) Fresh!
Used to find her tendin' to the kiddies; Up to here in Cream of Wheat! But the day her husband up and left her, That's the day that Agnes turned the heat one! Now she flames from night till early mornin'! While he slaves to raise the alimony He must pay, to Flaming Agnes!
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KyXfc9LYKc [post_title] => Flaming Agnes [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => flaming-agnes [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-24 14:22:59 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-24 19:22:59 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=5735 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [25] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 5209 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-10-20 20:26:28 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-10-21 00:26:28 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
Context & Lyrics
The schoolteacher Miss Thorn is comforting Tina’s mother, Judy, over Tina’s disappointment in being the understudy in the school play.
View Lyrics
No lyrics at this time, if you would like to submit please email [email protected]Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quKYinnpjco [post_title] => Teaching Third Grade [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => teaching-third-grade [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-24 14:42:05 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-24 19:42:05 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=5209 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [26] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4889 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-10-02 12:14:29 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-10-02 16:14:29 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
The emcee Mick uses the vocal talents of Shelby, a former cook, to publicize a marathon.
View Lyrics
I truly believe That i am a modern day Carmen In spite of the fact I do not habla espanol
That girl was exactly like me We share this philosophy Ole, I say
I'm not the type who's ready For datin' someone steady I'm everybody's girl
On Sunday night it's Danny On Monday, maybe Nanny I'm everybody's girl
There's a point to my behavior Which is: Smart girls always share their riches
So, if your heart succumbs Don't let it You're certain to regret it All others, come and get it I'm everybody's girl.
I could never be a cowhand's girl
La la la la la la
And you wanna know why?
ALL: Why?
SHELBY: I just can't keep my calves together.
I'm everybody's girl Some old greek called Aristotle said it: If you got it, why not spread it? So don't go rattling any sabres Exerting any labors Just share me with the neighbors I'm everybody's girl
In case your passion rages, (I'm in the yellow pages) I'm... Girl.
You won't be disappointed I'm also double-jointed I'm everybody's girl Though it leaves a lot of fellas Cursin' I'm a person Needs disbursin'
And so to reaffirm my status It's absolutely gratis To use my apparatus I'm everybody's girl
Men and me are like pianos. When they Get upright, i feel grand!
Everybody's girl!
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFbsSYT8wkw [post_title] => Everybody's Girl [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => everybodys-girl [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-23 16:15:37 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-23 21:15:37 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4889 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [27] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4798 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-09-28 12:06:30 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-09-28 16:06:30 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
Vicki, a very groomed housewife, sings about her cheerful marriage with Harold.
View Lyrics
JERRY Why can't you just tell her?
HAROLD She adores me. How do you break the heart of someone you love?
VICKI I really love that man He likes me dressed to the nines I saw two words and then ta-da There's me completely in Prada And I've got the boots that go with the belt That goes with the bag That goes with my wonderful life with Harold You gotta love that man
So he tells me you boys are rollers at the mill. That's wonderful. Of course, I don't actually know what rollers do, but hey, I hardly know what Harold does over there. It's all steel to me.
HAROLD Look at her. She's a piece of Dresden china. She'd break into a million pieces!
VICKI God, I love that man But lately he's working too hard I keep on telling him how we Should take a few weeks in Maui And we'll feel the breeze and sample the poi And go see Don Ho and I'll say "Oh boy, how I love you, Harold" I hit the jackpot with Harry
He's a gem - he's a beaut He looks cute in a suit and he loves me to boot I'm telling you You gotta love that man
Love that man I love that man I love that man!
MEN Love that man You gotta love that man You really gotta love That man
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATtX_m97DJw [post_title] => Life With Harold [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => life-with-harold [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-23 16:57:14 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-23 21:57:14 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4798 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [28] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4759 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-09-27 17:32:59 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-09-27 21:32:59 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
A seemingly introverted woman reveals that there's more to her than meets the eye.
View Lyrics
I sit here at my desk And no one knows Not twenty minutes ago I was not wearing clothes I was in someone's arms, in someone's bed Oh what the thought of it does to my head
If it's true a bird makes music When her heart takes wing This bird is singing Miss byrd is singing I'm singing I'm in love But I'm not saying a thing
Uh uh Oooh oooh
Down in apartment a The super's aptly named Last week I went to the basement More hours than i claimed He says i'm super too He calls me hot I show those basement apartments a lot
Back at work i'm crisp and fresh Reliable Miss Byrd Seals are dancing in my flesh But I don't say a word
I'm showing penthouse c As i begin I still feel his hands sliding over my skin My nipples start to throb Inside my bra That's when I start to go la-dah-di-dah
If you've never felt the lift A little lunch can bring This bird is singing Miss Byrd is singing I'm singing I'm on fire But i'm not saying a thing
No no no no oh oh oh...
This is a floor thru five I call it more a six The broken kitchenette tiles they will fix
Lots of girls who first seems shy Have secrets I have found If you think I'm special I suggest you look around
That little office temp Who seems so dumb How come a trip to mcdonald's Is making her hum?
And Mrs. Smith in sales Who's turning grey Why is she smiling that curious way?
If it's true the drabbest songbirds Come alive in spring The birds are singing Miss Byrd is singing I'm singing I'm in love But I'm not saying a thing
No no no no no no no no
Mum's the word
La la la la Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard...oo-wee
La la la la... Shh.....
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzegKeXmvf4 [post_title] => Miss Byrd [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => miss-byrd [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-23 17:53:32 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-23 22:53:32 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4759 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [29] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4730 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-09-26 17:59:21 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-09-26 21:59:21 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
The Mad Hatter raves on about how she wants to rule Wonderland.
View Lyrics
The old Hatter is gone But the Hat must go on Worn by me, is that understood?
So shut up and tow the line, While I redefine How this all will be mine.
I have a dream, It's got a full head of steam!
What is true what is not Can both change in a shot And people, me, I couldn't care less.
'Cause in two seconds flat Livin' under my hat Is the strategy for success.
I will look the other way When you want to play Something more than croquet. You catch my drift? My little personal gift!
I'm the Mad Hatter Come and follow me, this is it. The Mad Hatter, All you gotta do is submit.
And if you don't my friend, Well then in the end, There'll be nothing left to defend. Know what I mean? When you are facing the Queen.
Uppercase, double-spaced Everyone gets a taste, And a brand new leather hat band.
But to participate, Let me reiterate You must first put me in command.
I'm the wonder, understand, Under Wonderland, Put the reigns in my hand. I'll do the rest, As soon as you've acquiesced!
I'm the Mad Hatter Offering a little bit more. The Mad Hatter, Giving you what you're looking for.
I am your best worst case For the choice you face, And the fastest rat in the race! It's me or the queen And her serene guillotine.
There is nothing I won't do, There is nothing too taboo, I will lie, I will cheat, I will track you down And then hit delete tout suite!
So sweetie let me repeat... I'm the Mad Hatter, Lend allegiance while you still can, The Mad Hatter More than just a Hat with a plan.
I am where you belong, The right kind of wrong, And I'll still be going real strong!
The bottom line Is everything will be fine. As all the planets align, It's gonna be so divine. When all of this will be MINE!!
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc9PICpnAhI [post_title] => Mad Hatter [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => mad-hatter [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-23 21:43:23 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-24 02:43:23 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4730 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [30] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4703 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-09-26 11:46:23 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-09-26 15:46:23 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
View Lyrics
We like the fashion don’ts and not the dos We read the comics and I throw away the news Cityfolks laugh at our K-mart clothes But we got our own style and we got out own nose
12 step programs make me yawn But I could 2 step all night long Pink flamingos on my lawn But, don’t call us trailer trash, we live in a mobile home
You can always keep me down on the farm Cause I’ve always like a man with a half tan arm A pickup truck with over-sized tires make me weak in the knees And sets my heart on fire
Cheese fries, wise guys, demolition derbies Stir fries, nice guys do nothing fer me Never cut out gourmet recipes, We prefer the cuisine at the tasty freeze
We like cars with lots of chrome We can make art out of Styrofoam We ain’t got no cellular phone But, don’t call us trailer trash, We live in a mobile home
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeBnPRonT7E [post_title] => Don't Call Me Trailer Trash [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => dont-call-me-trailer-trash [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-23 22:21:30 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-24 03:21:30 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4703 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [31] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4693 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-09-26 11:17:19 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-09-26 15:17:19 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music ♬ BUY Vocal Book
Context & Lyrics
Ella, a chimney sweeper, is magically turned into the movie star Passionella.
View Lyrics
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjVSqEURLUo [post_title] => Gorgeous [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => gorgeous [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-24 01:00:37 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-24 06:00:37 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4693 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [32] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4682 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2016-09-25 18:27:13 [post_date_gmt] => 2016-09-25 22:27:13 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music
Context & Lyrics
The cabbie Hildy Esterhazy tries to seduce the sailor Chip and brags about her talents.
View Lyrics
'Cause I can bake, too, on top of the lot, My oven's the hottest you'll find. Yes, I can roast too, My chickens just ooze, My gravy will lose you your mind. I'm a brand new note On a table d'hote, But just try me? la carte. With a single course You can choke a horse. Baby, you won't know where to start! Oh, I'm an hors d'oeuvre, A jelly preserve, Not in the recipe book, And what's more, baby, I can cook!
Baby, I'm cookin' with gas. Oh, I'm a gumdrop, A sweet lollipop, A brook trout right out of the brook, And what's more, baby, I can cook!
Some girls make wonderful jivers, Some girls can hit a high "C", Some girls make good taxi drivers, But what a genius is me. I'd make a wonderful jiver, I even hit a high "C", I make the best taxi driver, I rate a big Navy "E"!
'Cause I can fry, too, on top of the heap, My Crisco's as deep as a pool. Yes, I can broil, too, My ribs get applause, My lamb chops will cause you to drool. For a candied sweet Or a pickled beet, Step up to my smorgasbord. Walk around until You get your fill. Baby, you won't ever be bored! Oh, I'm a pat? A marron glac? A dish you will wish you had took. And what's more, baby, I can cook!!
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t062tjKmK_I [post_title] => I Can Cook Too [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => i-can-cook-too [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-24 01:09:40 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-24 06:09:40 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=4682 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) ) [post_count] => 33 [current_post] => -1 [before_loop] => 1 [in_the_loop] => [post] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8089 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-22 15:20:53 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-22 19:20:53 [post_content] =>
Context & Lyrics
View Lyrics
Look at what it did to Anthony It made a "mark" out of Anthony If love could do that to Anthony What chance have I with love?
Look at what it did to Samson 'Til he lost his hair he was brave If a haircut could weaken Samson They could murder me with a shave
Louie Number Fifteen, King of France They say he suffered with each romance If love kicked him in the royal pants What chance have I An ordinary guy What chance have I with love?
Look at what it did to Adam From that bite he could not escape If an apple could finish Adam They could knock me off with a grape
Miss Lucrezia Borgia, deep in sin She poisoned her lovers when they dropped in If they wound up with a Mickey Finn What chance have I An ordinary guy What chance have I with love?
Look what love did for Reno It put Reno on the map When a woman goes to Reno It's because some man is a sap
Tommy Manville's love is not returned He sells asbestos and he has learned That with asbestos he still gets burned What chance have I An ordinary guy What chance have I with love?
Watch / Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfljnbflUzk [post_title] => What Chance Have I With Love? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => what-chance-have-i-with-love [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-26 12:34:40 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-26 16:34:40 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=8089 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [comment_count] => 0 [current_comment] => -1 [found_posts] => 33 [max_num_pages] => 1 [max_num_comment_pages] => 0 [is_single] => [is_preview] => [is_page] => [is_archive] => 1 [is_date] => [is_year] => [is_month] => [is_day] => [is_time] => [is_author] => [is_category] => [is_tag] => [is_tax] => 1 [is_search] => [is_feed] => [is_comment_feed] => [is_trackback] => [is_home] => [is_privacy_policy] => [is_404] => [is_embed] => [is_paged] => [is_admin] => [is_attachment] => [is_singular] => [is_robots] => [is_favicon] => [is_posts_page] => [is_post_type_archive] => [query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => 723b2df41a707f035894aba03e4c2721 [query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] => 1 [thumbnails_cached] => [allow_query_attachment_by_filename:protected] => [stopwords:WP_Query:private] => [compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array ( [0] => query_vars_hash [1] => query_vars_changed ) [compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array ( [0] => init_query_flags [1] => parse_tax_query ) )
