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Context & Lyrics


Major Bouvier tells his granddaughter Edie the best way to preserve their family’s legacy.
View Lyrics
MAJOR BOUVIER (spoken) Forgive me, ladies, but we live in perilous times. If you want to anchor your self in a uncertain world you have only one recourse:

(sung) With your eye on the ball and your feet on the fairway- Hit it high little girls, marry well!

MAN Four!

MAJOR BOUVIER Every point under par is a leg up the stairway To the sky little girls, marry well. Find a staunch young patrician, Republican! With the blood and the brains to excel! Like the fine strapping lad your late grandmama had Meaning I, little girls, marry well.

Ridiculous woman my daughter Edith Flying at the face of every good solid value I ever tried to instill in her God knows I've tried to teach her tried to teach all of my brood-

EDIE &MAJOR BOUVIER(spoken) The hallmark of aristocracy is responsibility

MAJOR BOUVIER Edie, oh ho ho, the last hope of the great Bouvier clan.

EDIE Oh, honestly!

BROOK But Major Bouvier, the time!

MAJOR BOUVIER Oh alright, alright, I'm coming. Company, fall in! Ten hut!

EDIE Chair the ball for the blind

LEE Treat your church to a steeple

ALL When in doubt, little girls, marry well!

LEE Bail the met out of debt

JACKIE Leave your art to the people.

ALL And the crowd will fall under your spell!

MAJOR BOUVIER But an unmarried lassie who's fast and loose, is a moose in a herd of gazelle!

ALL POW

MAJOR BOUVIER Don't be picked off the pack With your head on a plaque! Do me proud, little girls

ALL Marry well

MAJOR BOUVIER It's your future that counts They say greatness always skips a generation So now its up to you to burnish the family crest And remember girls- this crest of our french royal providence It took a while for it We paid a pile for it So go end up spinsters and diletants! The name Bouvier will surpass all others All of your uncles, aunts-

EDITH Oh Ah Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

MAJOR BOUVIER And mothers

LEE Picture Lee in Milan with a prince and a villa.

MAJOR BOUVIER Sally forth, little girl! Very nice.

JACKIE Jackie B. in Paris, simply bathes in chinchilla

EDIE As for me, Joe will more than suffice!

MAJOR BOUVIER Good girl! With a grandfather's blessing, I wish you love! Someone there when your hair goes to gray, and I'll strut in my spats down the isle of Saint Pat's!

BROOKS Marry high!

EDIE Marry proud!

JACKIE & LEE Nouveau riche ain't allowed!

BROOKS Upper class!

LEE Upper Crust!

JACKIE Standard Oil and Morgan Trust!

EDIE Marry young!

BROOKS Marry chaste!

MAJOR BOUVIER Or if not, then in haste-

ALL Marry well, and you're well on your way!

Watch / Listen


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo9e9fpUn-E

♬ Browse All Songs

[post_title] => Marry Well [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => marry-well [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-21 20:42:38 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-22 00:42:38 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7979 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [1] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7726 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-15 12:57:31 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-15 16:57:31 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music

Context & Lyrics


Gould wants Edith to put aside their faded memories while he is gone.
View Lyrics
GOULD Understand kid, It's been just grand, kid. The cocktails, the cufflinks - the fun. Remember me when you're singing "Tea for One."

EDITH (spoken) If you're gone, who would I even talk to?

GOULD (spoken) Yourself. The occasional cat.

EDITH (spoken) That's not funny.

GOULD After I'm gone, When the ocean's haze Blankets the grounds in grey Drift away, on the tide, Drift away.

When you're alone, And the twilight's glow Shimmers across the bay Drift away, on a wave, Drift away. Our tete-a-tetes-

EDITH Midnight duets-

GOULD &EDITH Our breakfast tea and toast.

GOULD Funny how things that mean the least Are what we miss the most. Deep in the night When the whispering breeze Sings this song I play, Shed a tear and be glad For the fun that we had. Drift away, on a dream... Drift away.

EDITH (spoken) You're my soul mate, that's what you are.

GOULD (spoken) "Soul mate." Is that the nom de jour?

EDITH (spoken) I've no idea what you mean.

GOULD (spoken) For the party this afternoon, which would you prefer? Should I wear the white satin jacket you bought for me at Bergdorf's? Or the linen one you picked up in Rome?

EDITH (spoken) Now, Gould-! Gould!

Watch / Listen


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euil6rGHPhc

♬ Browse All Songs

[post_title] => Drift Away [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => drift-away [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-03-15 12:57:31 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-03-15 16:57:31 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7726 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7272 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-02-27 16:46:50 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-02-27 21:46:50 [post_content] => ♬ BUY Digital Sheet Music

Context & Lyrics


Edie regrets failing to succeed in New York City, whereas her mother Edith regrets nothing and takes no blame for Edie’s shortcomings.
View Lyrics
EDITH (spoken) I have no complaints. I have everything I ever wanted.

EDIE (spoken) You had a rich husband; you should've stayed with him.

EDITH (spoken) I had a perfect marriage... beautiful children... terribly successful marriage, I never had a fight in my life.

EDIE (spoken) Ha!

EDITH (spoken) I had a very, very happy, satisfying life.

EDIE (spoken) Can't be done. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. You can't.

EDITH (spoken) Ohhhh yes you can. I most certainly did have my cake and eat it, down to the last crumb.

(sung) What good is cake You have but never eat? I never could Deny myself a sweet, So I sliced my life And licked my knife And ate the cake I had.

EDIE (spoken) Can't be done, I'm telling you...

EDITH Two perfect sons I thoroughly enjoyed An absent spouse And cats to fill the void, And the tri-state's best Accompanist Oh yes, I ate the cake I had.

Moist. Light. Gaily decorated. Every tasty morsel, Savored, chewed and masticated.
Young. Bright. Rich and thin and clever. Like a second helping? Sister, would I ever!

EDIE (spoken) I'll probably be an old maid until I die. I'll sit around with cats the rest of my life.

EDITH (spoken) When are you gonna learn, Edie? You're in this world, you know! You're not out of the world!

(sung) The days are gone When money grew on trees. The money tree Came down with elm disease. But at my age, ducks, For my two bucks I'll eat the cake I have And like it. I'll eat the cake I have.

EDIE (spoken) I think the saddest thing was my not marrying. During the war, my best friend, she was a nurse with the Red Cross... she met somebody overseas in a hospital. A Marine. Lost both of his legs at Iwo Jima. Romance was inevitable, really, given the situation. But I couldn't travel. Mother wasn't well during the war, you see.

EDITH (spoken) Gerald Gettys worshipped you - and those two nice Rockefeller fellas-

EDIE (spoken) They were horrible! Horrible!

EDITH (spoken) You just didn't want to get married. Now it's all blamed on me.

EDIE (spoken) I missed out on everything.

EDITH Gripe. Groan. Point the famous finger. Life is disappointing, Put the parent through the wringer.

Sulk. Moan. Blame it on the mother. When I'm dead and buried You won't get another.

EDIE (spoken) I met a Count, in Greenwich Village. He was a poet and a playwright, and he said, "Edith, I want to make an honest woman out of you." I thought that was very decent.

EDITH (spoken) He didn't have a nickel in his trousers! Not a nickel!

EDIE (spoken) Mother despised him. Gave him the pink slip. To think, I coulda been a Countess - Countess Edith!

EDITH Enough with all Your celebrated loves. You had two hands. You could have modeled gloves. Is it my fault that Your cake fell flat? That you're unmarried, Bald and fat?

As the world waltzed by And Edie sat... I ate the cake I had And loved it.
Oh, I ate the cake I had, No thanks to daddy. I ate the cake... I had.

EDIE (spoken) Sometimes I think I have the saddest life...

Watch / Listen


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoOwlr7xd-A

♬ Browse All Songs

[post_title] => The Cake I Had [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => the-cake-i-had [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2017-02-27 16:46:50 [post_modified_gmt] => 2017-02-27 21:46:50 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=audition_songs&p=7272 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => audition_songs [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) ) [post_count] => 3 [current_post] => -1 [in_the_loop] => [post] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7979 [post_author] => 733 [post_date] => 2017-03-21 20:38:54 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-03-22 00:38:54 [post_content] =>

Context & Lyrics


Major Bouvier tells his granddaughter Edie the best way to preserve their family’s legacy.
View Lyrics
MAJOR BOUVIER (spoken) Forgive me, ladies, but we live in perilous times. If you want to anchor your self in a uncertain world you have only one recourse:

(sung) With your eye on the ball and your feet on the fairway- Hit it high little girls, marry well!

MAN Four!

MAJOR BOUVIER Every point under par is a leg up the stairway To the sky little girls, marry well. Find a staunch young patrician, Republican! With the blood and the brains to excel! Like the fine strapping lad your late grandmama had Meaning I, little girls, marry well.

Ridiculous woman my daughter Edith Flying at the face of every good solid value I ever tried to instill in her God knows I've tried to teach her tried to teach all of my brood-

EDIE &MAJOR BOUVIER(spoken) The hallmark of aristocracy is responsibility

MAJOR BOUVIER Edie, oh ho ho, the last hope of the great Bouvier clan.

EDIE Oh, honestly!

BROOK But Major Bouvier, the time!

MAJOR BOUVIER Oh alright, alright, I'm coming. Company, fall in! Ten hut!

EDIE Chair the ball for the blind

LEE Treat your church to a steeple

ALL When in doubt, little girls, marry well!

LEE Bail the met out of debt

JACKIE Leave your art to the people.

ALL And the crowd will fall under your spell!

MAJOR BOUVIER But an unmarried lassie who's fast and loose, is a moose in a herd of gazelle!

ALL POW

MAJOR BOUVIER Don't be picked off the pack With your head on a plaque! Do me proud, little girls

ALL Marry well

MAJOR BOUVIER It's your future that counts They say greatness always skips a generation So now its up to you to burnish the family crest And remember girls- this crest of our french royal providence It took a while for it We paid a pile for it So go end up spinsters and diletants! The name Bouvier will surpass all others All of your uncles, aunts-

EDITH Oh Ah Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

MAJOR BOUVIER And mothers

LEE Picture Lee in Milan with a prince and a villa.

MAJOR BOUVIER Sally forth, little girl! Very nice.

JACKIE Jackie B. in Paris, simply bathes in chinchilla

EDIE As for me, Joe will more than suffice!

MAJOR BOUVIER Good girl! With a grandfather's blessing, I wish you love! Someone there when your hair goes to gray, and I'll strut in my spats down the isle of Saint Pat's!

BROOKS Marry high!

EDIE Marry proud!

JACKIE & LEE Nouveau riche ain't allowed!

BROOKS Upper class!

LEE Upper Crust!

JACKIE Standard Oil and Morgan Trust!

EDIE Marry young!

BROOKS Marry chaste!

MAJOR BOUVIER Or if not, then in haste-

ALL Marry well, and you're well on your way!

Watch / Listen


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo9e9fpUn-E

♬ Browse All Songs

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