Context & Lyrics
Major Bouvier tells his granddaughter Edie the best way to preserve their family’s legacy.
Forgive me, ladies, but we live in perilous times.
If you want to anchor your self in a uncertain world you have only one recourse:
With your eye on the ball and your feet on the fairway-
Hit it high little girls, marry well!
Every point under par is a leg up the stairway
To the sky little girls, marry well.
Find a staunch young patrician,
With the blood and the brains to excel!
Like the fine strapping lad your late grandmama had
Meaning I, little girls, marry well.
Ridiculous woman my daughter Edith
Flying at the face of every good solid value I ever tried to instill in her
God knows I’ve tried to teach her tried to teach all of my brood-
EDIE &MAJOR BOUVIER(spoken)
The hallmark of aristocracy is responsibility
Edie, oh ho ho, the last hope of the great Bouvier clan.
But Major Bouvier, the time!
Oh alright, alright, I’m coming.
Company, fall in! Ten hut!
Chair the ball for the blind
Treat your church to a steeple
When in doubt, little girls, marry well!
Bail the met out of debt
Leave your art to the people.
And the crowd will fall under your spell!
But an unmarried lassie who’s fast and loose,
is a moose in a herd of gazelle!
Don’t be picked off the pack
With your head on a plaque!
Do me proud, little girls
It’s your future that counts
They say greatness always skips a generation
So now its up to you to burnish the family crest
And remember girls- this crest of our french royal providence
It took a while for it
We paid a pile for it
So go end up spinsters and diletants!
The name Bouvier will surpass all others
All of your uncles, aunts-
Oh Ah Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Picture Lee in Milan with a prince and a villa.
Sally forth, little girl! Very nice.
Jackie B. in Paris, simply bathes in chinchilla
As for me, Joe will more than suffice!
With a grandfather’s blessing, I wish you love!
Someone there when your hair goes to gray, and I’ll strut in my spats down the isle of Saint Pat’s!
JACKIE & LEE
Nouveau riche ain’t allowed!
Standard Oil and Morgan Trust!
Or if not, then in haste-
Marry well, and you’re well on your way!