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This week, Theatre Nerds is rounding up 40 terms that we think every thespian (as well as their perplexed friends and loved ones) should know. Start studying!

1. BLOCKING - Rather than standing in front of someone so that they can’t get by, ‘blocking’ in the theatre world refers to the exact placement on a stage where an actor needs to be during a scene. 2. CALL TIME - The time in which an actor must be present at the theatre for an audition, rehearsal or show. No phones are involved with this kind of call. 3. COLD READING - Put your tissues away. This simply means to read a script with little to no preparation. No rehearsing for you - you’re going in cold! via GIPHY 4. CURTAIN CALL - That magical moment after a production when the cast comes out for a bow and applause. 5. DOWNSTAGE - The front of a stage where performers are closest to the audience. 6. DRAMATURGY - A study of the context in which a production takes place. Generally, a bunch of actors (or a person assigned to the role of dramaturg) research a play’s specific era, location, societal beliefs, traditions, etc. to gain a better understanding of the world where the story is set. 7. DRESSER - A stagehand who aids in keeping costumes neat and tidy, as well as helping performers during costume changes. Not to be confused with a piece of furniture. 8. ENCORE - That epic musical number that occurs after audiences have applauded the finale of a show and cast members have given a closing bow. via GIPHY 9. FOURTH WALL - Sounds like something from the Twilight Zone but is really the conceptual barrier between actor and audience member. Performers that “break the fourth wall” address the audience. 10. FRINGE - Thespian lingo for theatre that is out of the box, avant garde and experimental. 11. FRONT-OF-HOUSE - Areas of a theatre or performing arts venue where the public can be. Antonym: backstage. 12. GHOST LIGHT - A light that stays illuminated on a stage when the auditorium is otherwise unoccupied. Naturally this term was coined by a thespian and therefore super dramatic (and creepy). 13. GOBO - A fancy term for light-based projections that are used during a theatrical production. 14. LOGE - A section of boxed balcony seats located in a theatre. 15. METHOD ACTING - When actors try to achieve complete emotional understanding of their character (i.e., adjusting their lifestyle to align with a role as part of the rehearsal process). 16. OFF BOOK - When actors can finally toss the script aside because they have their lines memorized. 17. OPEN AIR THEATRE - An outdoor theatre. 18. ORCHESTRA - While even non-theatre folks know that the orchestra can refer to live instruments accompanying a show, the term also defines a venue’s main floor seating. 19. PROSCENIUM - The arch or boarder that frames a stage. 20. QUICK CHANGE - A really, really, really, really, really, really fast costume change. 21. RUN THROUGH - When a cast rehearses their entire show from beginning to end. 22. SCRIM - A piece of cloth that’s used as a backdrop on-stage (often lit from behind to create the scene). 23. SITZPROBE - A magical rehearsal where singers and musicians unite to run through musical numbers together. 24. SOLILOQUY - When a character expresses internal thoughts or emotions verbally for the benefit of the audience. Basically, when a character talks to themselves. 25. STAGE DIRECTION - When a play’s text includes instructional movement or gestures. 26. STAGE DOOR - The secret place where theatre nerds fan-girl and get Playbills signed after a show. via GIPHY 27. STAGE MANAGER - (Noun) A magical device usually fueled by caffeine that brings order to chaos. (We even put it on a shirt.) 28. STAGE MOM - Those super-moms that aid their thespian offspring in line running, costume sewing, prop making, shoe shopping, choreography watching, snack supplying, makeup applying, fundraising and more. (We put that on a shirt also.) 29. STRIKE - When the run of a show is done and everyone involved congregates to destroy the set. Tears are probably shed. 30. SUPERNUMERARIES - While this word reminds us of superheroes, it is the Individuals who are onstage during a show to fill in crowd scenes but aren’t actually actors, singers or dancers. (They may have superpowers as well.) 31. SWING - A thespian ninja who has the ability to jump into multiple roles as an understudy at any given moment. 32. TECHIE - A loving term of endearment for those who make the magic happen offstage (aka theatre technicians who work with lights, props, sets, etc.) 33. THEATRE-IN-THE-ROUND - A theatre with seats surrounding every side of the stage. They are also known as arena stages. 34. THE BARD - What ultra-theatre nerds call William Shakespeare. 35. THRUST STAGE - A stage that “thrusts” into the auditorium; there are seats surrounding three sides. 26. TYPECAST - When you’re just ALWAYS cast in a nerdy role. Or ALWAYS the villain. Or ALWAYS that cool sidekick who owns a hairless cat. 37. UNDERSTUDY - It’s like substitute teaching but one step closer to winning a Tony. 38. UPSTAGE - The back of the stage farthest from the audience. 39. UPSTAGED - This word also refers to that theatre kid who constantly tries to outshine everyone. *Cue Beyoncé’s “Diva”* via GIPHY 40. WINGS - The area to the sides of the stage where all things important happen: quick changes occur, props await their moment in the sun, and performers enter onstage.

Have a thespian term you want to include? Share it with us in the comments below!

[post_title] => 40 Theatre Terms Every Thespian Should Know [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 40-theatre-terms-every-thespian-should-know [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-11-02 09:40:42 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-11-02 13:40:42 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369213 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [1] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368823 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-10-31 09:44:03 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-31 13:44:03 [post_content] => [viralQuiz id=87] [post_title] => Quiz: Order Coffee And We'll Reveal Your Perfect Theatre Mug Match [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => order-coffee-reveal-perfect-theatre-mug-match [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-31 09:45:02 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-31 13:45:02 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368823 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 369136 [post_author] => 391 [post_date] => 2018-10-27 10:57:10 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-27 14:57:10 [post_content] => Washington, DC's National Theatre has once again been blessed with a new pre-Broadway run, and it is a whole world away from the high school shenanigans of last year's "Mean Girls.” This year's musical adaptation of Tim Burton’s "Beetlejuice" is just in time for the 1988 film’s 30th anniversary. With music and lyrics by Australian comedian and singer-songwriter Eddie Perfect (“Shane Warne, “King Kong”), “Beetlejuice” is an outrageously hilarious spectacle that balances the macabre with the comedic. The cast and crew have brought forth a production that would make Burton and his original cohorts proud. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWeblJlO7a0 Here we have a cast that could not have been better assembled, since they fit their respective roles like a glove... or in this case, like a corpse in a hearse! In the title role is Alex Brightman, who is best known for his Tony-nominated performance as Dewey Finn in "School of Rock." His embodiment of Beetlejuice would make even Michael Keaton shudder. Brightman's portrayal of the shameless, sailor-mouthed miscreant is complete with spot-on accents and a devilishly convincing comical timing. Brightman’s consistently raspy voice throughout the show is proof that the man has vocal cords of steel, and his performance is a must-watch for Tony voters. Alongside him playing Lydia is Sophia Anne Caruso ("The Sound of Music Live!", "Lazarus"). Whereas Winona Ryder's Lydia is low-key and subtle, Caruso's Lydia has more attitude. Lydia grieves over her mother’s death and barely tolerates her selfish, oblivious father, and Caruso nails the angst needed for the self-proclaimed "strange and unusual" goth teenager. Vocally, Caruso has a solid belting register that is far beyond her 17 years. Her first big solo number "Dead Mom" is a midtempo rock number in the vein of Paramore, and I can easily see Caruso fronting her own future band if she chooses to do so. Other standouts in the cast include Broadway veteran Kerry Butler ("Catch Me If You Can," "Mean Girls") and Rob McClure ("Chaplin") as the adorkable recently deceased couple Barbara and Adam Maitland. Leslie Kritzer ("Legally Blonde"), who plays Delia, Lydia's soon-to-be stepmother and life coach, is an absolute riot, as is her co-star Adam Dannheisser ("Oslo"), who plays Lydia's father, Charles. Also noteworthy is Kelvin Moon Loh (“The King and I” 2015 Revival) as Delia’s ethereal guru Otho. Although a minor character, it would be remiss not to applaud Dana Steingold's brief but screamingly funny performance as an innocent, easily scared Girl Scout in the second act. [caption id="attachment_369138" align="aligncenter" width="798"]Beetlejuice musical review Pictured: Alex Brightman playing Beetlejuice.[/caption] One of the show's most significant assets is its spectacular set, costume, and lighting design. The production is complete with animatronic sandworms and shrimp-arms, not to mention at least five different backgrounds throughout the course of the show. The set's gothic aesthetic is spot-on with Tim Burton's style from the movie, and its immaculate versatility is something that I hope Tony voters remember come spring. Moreover, the costumes are nearly exact replicas of the movie ones (e.g., Beetlejuice’s striped suit and Lydia’s red wedding dress). In classic Broadway fashion, the costume changes in numbers such as “Creepy Old Guy” are swift and stunning. Elsewhere, the lighting design strikes gothic gold. Before the curtain rises, it is covered with a beaming spiral, as if to hypnotize the audience into a world far beyond our darkest fears. Perhaps my favorite use of the lighting is how minimal it is in the netherworld scenes, heightening the Tim Burton-like desolation of the next world. The crew has crafted a flexible set that turns the seemingly impossible into a reality. Meanwhile, the writing is sensational. Like last year’s production of “Mean Girls,” the book here is not just a total copy-and-paste of the movie to the stage. The book writers Scott Brown and Anthony King (both “Gutenberg! The Musical”) have expanded character backstories. For example, the musical opens with Beetlejuice wreaking havoc in a graveyard shortly before cutting to the funeral for Lydia’s mother. Some plot details have changed, however, such as how Barbara and Adam die in the story’s beginning. A car driving off a bridge, like in the movie, here turns into the couple falling through the floor in their house. With the dialogue, Brown and King have upped the ante on the humor. The script is replete with explosive jokes and lyrics that tip-toe between knee-slapping and just plain wrong ("There are misogynistic guys here/Someday you're gonna die here/It's basically Dubai here"). Musically, Eddie Perfect lives up to his surname with his lively rock/swing hybrid score that enhances the brash dark humor throughout the story. The score hits the ground running with the uptempo opening number "The Whole Being Dead Thing.” Other highlights throughout the show include "That Beautiful Sound," "Creepy Old Guy," and "Everything Is Meh." The latter number features another delightful addition to the story: the fictional boy band Boy Inferno, which greets people upon entering the netherworld. Furthermore, fans of the movie will be relieved to know that the two Harry Belafonte songs used in the movie's iconic dinner scene and finale scene are recycled for the stage version. [caption id="attachment_369139" align="aligncenter" width="620"]Beetlejuice musical review, beetlejucie musical Eddie Perfect, the composer, and lyricist for “Beetlejuice.”[/caption] The show is already a hit among audiences, with many patrons arriving on opening night in full gothic makeup, dyed hair, and costumes. Ticket-wise, some performances are already down to single tickets in certain sections. Overall, I hope the show is not altered too much when it transfers to New York in the spring. There are already several strong aspects, and I hope that all the aforementioned musical numbers stay intact. As the DC production is currently the only incarnation of the musical, it is hard for me to imagine a better cast than the current one. I do hope though that Otho’s character is expanded. I know his Act II appearance is brief, but I feel that there is much comedic potential to explore with him. Regardless of how the final version manifests, "Beetlejuice" is already a hit of demonic proportions! WARNING: Contains strong language, suggestive content, and strobe light effects. Not recommended for children under 15. "Beetlejuice" plays at DC's National Theatre through November 18th. Get your tickets HERE [post_title] => 'Beetlejuice: The Musical' DC Review [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => beetlejuice-the-musical-dc-review [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-27 11:03:24 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-27 15:03:24 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369136 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [3] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 369032 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-10-25 09:50:04 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-25 13:50:04 [post_content] => Combat the stress of sifting through scripts with Theatre Nerds’ comprehensive collection of comedic monologues for actors. Whether you’re ready to own the audition room with a Shakespearean sonnet or embody a cranky, treasure-hunting pirate captain, we’ve got you covered.

Impress your casting director with these 17 comedic monologues for men:

1. “I would like to say something your honor…” - Leo Bloom from ‘The Producers’

Comedic monologues for men, funny monologues for guys, theatre nerds monologues   Chronicling a goofy duo of ‘has been’ Broadway producers, this aptly titled musical is packed with satire and witty dialogue making it a shoo-in for a comedic monologue choice. Take on the role of Leo Bloom, a nerve-wracked accountant who partners up with the bold and scheming Max Bialystock. Monologue Length: 1:08 - 1:20 “I would like to say something your honor, not on my behalf, but in reference to my partner, Mr. Bialystock....your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Max Bialystock is the most selfish man I ever met in my life...Not only is he liar, and a cheat and a scoundrel, and a crook, who has taken money from little old ladies, he has also talked people into doing things, especially me, that they would never in a thousand years had dreamed of doing. But, your honor, as I understand it the law was created to protect people from being wronged. Your honor, whom has Max Bialystock wronged? I mean, whom has he really hurt? Not me. Not me. I was.... this man.... no one ever called me Leo before. I mean, I know it's not a big legal point, but even in kindergarten they used to call me Bloom. I never sang a song before. I mean with someone else, I never sang a song with someone else before. This man.... this man... this is a wonderful man. He made me what I am today...he did. And what of the dear ladies? What would their lives have been without Max Bialystock? Max Bialystock, who made them feel young, and attractive, and wanted again. That's all I have to say.”

2. “Perhaps you think…” - Black Stache from ‘Peter And The Starcatchers’

funny monologues for men Do you have a knack for the dark side? Set sail with this fantastical monologue from the Tony Award-winning play, “Peter And The Starcatchers.” Show the audition room that it’s not easy being a villainous pirate - as seen by this lament from the ominous (and slightly silly) Captain Black Stache. Monologue Length: 45 seconds - 1 minute “Perchance you think a treasure trunk sans treasure has put my piratical BVDs in a twist? How wrong you are. Yes, I’d hoped to be hip-deep in diamonds, but they’re a poor substitute for what I really crave: a bona fide hero to help me feel whole. For without a hero, what am I? Half a villain; a pirate in part; ruthless, but toothless. And then I saw you, and I thought, “Maybe? Can it be? Is he the one I’ve waited for? Would he, for example, give up something precious for the sake of the daughter he loves?” But alas, he gives up sand. Now, let’s see: hero with treasure, very good. Hero with no treasure…. doable. No hero and a trunk full o’ sand? Not s’much. NOW, WHERE’S MY TREASURE?!?” (Credit: Elice, Rick. Peter and the Starcatcher Disney Editions, 2014.)

3. “Eliza, you are to stay here…” - Henry Higgins from “My Fair Lady”

This monologue from Professor Henry Higgins sums up ‘My Fair Lady’ in a nutshell. As a stiff and stern educator, Higgins is out to make a lady of the wild and carefree Eliza Dolittle. He states his rules for their lessons in this memorable scene. Monologue Length: 1:07 - 1:20 “Hmmm. Eliza, you are to stay here for the next six months learning how to speak beautifully, like a lady in a florist shop. If you're good and do whatever you are told, you shall sleep in a proper bedroom, have lots to eat, and money to buy chocolates and take rides in taxis. But if you are naughty and idle you shall sleep in the back kitchen amongst the black beetles, and be walloped by Mrs. Pearce with a broomstick. At the end of six months you shall be taken to Buckingham Palace in a carriage, beautifully dressed. If the King finds out that you are not a lady, the police will take you to the Tower of London, where your head will be cut off as a warning to other presumptuous flower girls (Eliza looks up at him terrified) But if you are not found out, you shall have a present of seven-and-six to start life with as a lady in a shop. If you refuse this offer you will be a most ungrateful wicked girl, and the angels will weep for you. (Seeing by Eliza's reaction that she has understood every word he turns to Pickering, his former tone instantly changed to one of good humor) Now are you satisfied, Pickering?”

4. “Juicy as a pomegranate.” - Beverly Carlton from “The Man Who Came To Dinner”

If it’s a bit of dramatic flair you’re looking for, this might be your cup of tea. Enter Beverly Carlton: a playwright and performer with a talent for impressions. In this minute-long monologue, he reenacts an overly theatrical conversation. Monologue Length: 55 seconds - 1:10 “Juicy as a pomegranate. It is the latest report from London on the winter maneuvers of Miss Lorraine Sheldon against the left flank -- in fact, all flanks -- of Lord Cedric Bottomley. Listen: “Lorraine has just left us in a cloud of Chanel Number Five. Since September, in her relentless pursuit of His Lordship, she has paused only to change girdles and check her oil. She has chased him, panting, from castle to castle, till he finally took refuge, for several weekends, in the gentleman’s lavatory of the House of Lords. Practically no one is betting on the Derby this year; we are all making book on Lorraine. She is sailing tomorrow on the Normandie, but would return on the Yankee Clipper if Bottomley so much as belches in her direction.” Have you ever met Lord Bottomley, Maggie dear? “Not v-v-very good shooting today, blast it. Only s-s-six partridges, f-f-four grouse, and the D-D-Duke of Sutherland.”

5. “I think lunchtime is about the worst time of day for me.” - Charlie Brown from ‘You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown’

male monologues Poor Charlie Brown! Nothing can ever seem to go right. In this scene, a melancholy Charlie discusses why lunchtime is his least favorite part of the day. Nail your audition with an excerpt from this Peanuts-inspired script. Monologue Length: 2:12 - 2:30 “I think lunchtime is about the worst time of day for me. Always having to sit here alone. Of course, sometimes, mornings aren't so pleasant either. Waking up and wondering if anyone would really miss me if I never got out of bed. Then there's the night, too. Lying there and thinking about all the stupid things I've done during the day. And all those hours in between when I do all those stupid things. Well, lunchtime is among the worst times of the day for me. Well, I guess I'd better see what I've got. Peanut butter. Some psychiatrists say that people who eat peanut butter sandwiches are lonely...I guess they're right. And when you're really lonely, the peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth. There's that cute little red-headed girl eating her lunch over there. I wonder what she would do if I went over and asked her if I could sit and have lunch with her?...She'd probably laugh right in my face...it's hard on a face when it gets laughed in. There's an empty place next to her on the bench. There's no reason why I couldn't just go over and sit there. I could do that right now. All I have to do is stand up...I'm standing up!...I'm sitting down. I'm a coward. I'm so much of a coward, she wouldn't even think of looking at me. She hardly ever does look at me. In fact, I can't remember her ever looking at me. Why shouldn't she look at me? Is there any reason in the world why she shouldn't look at me? Is she so great, and I'm so small, that she can't spare one little moment?...SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!! SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!! (he puts his lunchbag over his head.) ...Lunchtime is among the worst times of the day for me. If that little red-headed girl is looking at me with this stupid bag over my head she must think I'm the biggest fool alive. But, if she isn't looking at me, then maybe I could take it off quickly and she'd never notice it. On the other hand...I can't tell if she's looking, until I take it off! Then again, if I never take it off I'll never have to know if she was looking or not. On the other hand...it's very hard to breathe in here. (he removes his sack) Whew! She's not looking at me! I wonder why she never looks at me? Oh well, another lunch hour over with...only 2,863 to go.”

6.“Don’t let her bedevil you, gentlemen.” - Finian McLonergan from ‘Finian’s Rainbow’

If you’re opting for a traditional monologue, this snippet from ‘Finian’s Rainbow’ will do the trick. Walk into your audition as Finian himself using this outrageous speech which takes place after the titular character’s daughter is accused of witchcraft. Monologue Length: 45 seconds - 1 minute “Don’t let her bedevil you, gentlemen. A witch she is and a witch she’s always been. Who would know better than me, her unhappy father, who found her on me doorstep, left by a fairy in the moonlight. At the age of two, she could talk with the skylarks, and decode the chirping of the crickets. At the age of four, she could blow a rainbow out of a bubble pipe, and then wear her pants out sliding down it. Then, during her adolescence, she took a tragic turn. She began to change whiskey into milk. It was a crisis, a crisis. From then on, one change led to another, and now you are all witnesses to the unhappy climax - she’s changed a white man into a black. (silencing gesture) Quiet, Woody, I’m doing the right thing. Just a minute, gentlemen. Sharon can also change a black man into a white.”

7. “Well either you are closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge…” - Harold Hill from ‘The Music Man’

There may be seventy-six auditionees vying for a role, but only one will be cast! Impress casting directors by embodying the infamous Harold Hill, a traveling salesman who poses as a band director in a small Iowa town. Monologue Length: 1:25 - 1:40 “Well either you are closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge, or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of a pool table in your community. Well, you got trouble my friend. Right here, I say, trouble right here in River City. Why sure I'm a billiard player, certainly mighty proud to say, I'm always mighty proud to say it. I consider that the hours I spend with a cue in my hand are golden. Help ya cultivate horse sense, and cool head and a keen eye. Did you ever take and try to give an ironclad leave to yourself from a three rail billiard shot? But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and maturity to score in a balk line game, I say that any boob, can take and shove a ball in a pocket. And I call that sloth, the first big step on the road to the depths of degreda- I say first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon, then beer from a bottle. And the next thing you know your son is playing for money in a pinch back suit and listening to some big out of town jasper here to talk about horse race gamblin'. Not a wholesome trottin race, no, but a race where they sit down right on the horse! Like to see some stuck up jockey boy sitting on Dan-Patch? Make your blood boil? Well, I should say. Now friends, let me tell you what I mean. Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table. Pockets that mark the difference between a gentleman and a bum with a capital B and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool.”

8. “O, she misused me past the endurance of a block!” - Benedick from ‘Much Ado About Nothing’

comedic male monologue shakespeare Shakespearean dialogue has long been a popular monologue choice - and with good reason! These words, spoken by the role of Benedick, is a great choice if you’re looking to find a monologue that showcases old English and can be performed in approximately one minute. Monologue Length: 1:05 - 1:15 “O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! An oak but with one green leaf on it would have answered her; my very visor began to assume life and scold with her. She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the Prince's jester, that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs. If her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her; she would infect the North Star. I would not marry her though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed. She would have made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her. You shall find her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some scholar would conjure her, for certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon purpose, because they would go thither; so indeed all disquiet, horror, and perturbation follows her.”

9. “And I, forsooth, in love!” - Berowne from ‘Love’s Labour’s Lost’

This particular Shakespearean declaration of love is a tad dramatic (and can be a fun monologue when auditioning for a comedic role!) Berowne, a former cynic when it comes to romance, unexpectedly falls for a beautiful girl; this new revelation sparks the words below... Monologue Length: 1:20 - 1:45 “And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love's whip, A very beadle to a humorous sigh, A critic, nay, a night-watch constable, A domineering pedant o'er the boy, Than whom no mortal so magnificent. This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy, This signor-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid, Regent of love-rimes, lord of folded arms, The anointed sovereign of sighs and groans, Liege of all loiterers and malcontents, Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces, Sole imperator and great general Of trotting paritors -- O my little heart! And I to be a corporal of his field, And wear his colors like a tumbler's hoop! What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife! A woman that is like a German clock, Still a-repairing, ever out of frame, And never going aright, being a watch, But being watched that it may still go right! Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all; And, among three, to love the worst of all; A whitely wanton with a velvet brow, With two pitch balls stuck in her face for eyes. Ay, and, by heaven, one that will do the deed, Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard. And I to sigh for her, to watch for her, To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague That Cupid will impose for my neglect Of his almighty dreadful little might. Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue, groan: Some men must love my lady, and some Joan.”

10. “Well, kiddies, that’s what happened to Tommy today.” - Jeff Douglas from ‘Brigadoon’

Pack your bags and take a trip to Brigadoon with this monologue. Lerner and Lowe’s beloved show follows two friends who stumble upon a mystic town that appears once every 100 years (ooh! aah!) Monologue Length: 1:30 - 1:45 “Well, kiddies, that's what happened to Tommy today. But, what about his friend Jeff? Well, he had fun too. Tonight he went running off through the woods after some highland hot-head who was gonna make all the people disappear by crossing the wrong street. Well after a while, Jeff thought he saw a bird perched low in a tree, and he shot at it. Something fell to the ground. He rushed over to it, and whaddya think it was? It was hot-head Harry. Yessir, the boy Dermish himself, lying there looking all dead....Now to kill somebody somewhere else in the world would've been an awful thing, but you see, Harry was a citizen of the little town that wasn't there, and he probably never lived in the first place. Chances are there weren't even any woods. In fact the whole day probably never even happened, because you see, this is a fairy tale...(angry) Dream stuff, boy, all made up outta broomsticks and wishing wells! It's either that or a boot camp for lunatics, I don't know what goes on around here. All I know is that whatever it is, it's got nothing to do with me and nothing to do with you! And anything that happens to either of us just doesn't count! How can it when you don't understand it? And you wanna give up your family, your friends, your whole life for this? It's not even worth arguing about. Now go say goodbye to the little people and thank them for the picnic!...You're confused aren't ya boy? You know, if you believed as much as you think you do, you wouldn't be.”

11. “Okay. Now here it comes.” - Man In Chair from ‘The Drowsy Chaperone’

Over the years, the nameless Man In Chair has been played by many well-known actors. Now it’s your time to shine with this iconic monologue from “The Drowsy Chaperone.” Monologue Length: 1:18 - 1:30 “Okay. Now here it comes. The moment I was talking about [...] a moment that has fascinated me more than any other and that has brought me back to this record again and again. Here it comes. (Pause). You can’t quite make out what she says because someone drops a cane. Is she saying “live while you can,” or “leave while you can”? And that’s exactly what you think when you’re standing at the altar, isn’t it, “Live” or “Leave” and you have to live. [... ... ...] So, one day [...] you say “I love you” and you basically phrase it as a question, but they accept it as fact and then suddenly there she is standing in front of you in a three thousand dollar dress with tears in her eyes, and her nephew made the huppah, so what do you do? [...] You choose to live. And for a couple of months you stare at the alien form in the bed beside you and you think to yourself “Who are you? Who are you?” And one day you say it out loud…then it’s a trial separation and couples counseling and all your conversations are about her eating disorder and your Zoloft addiction, [...] and the whole “relationship” ends on a particularly ugly note with your only copy of Gypsy spinning through the air and smashing against the living room wall. But still, in the larger sense, in a broader sense, it’s better to have lived than left, right?”

12.“I'm sorry to have to say it to your face, Lucy, but it's true.” - Schroeder from ‘You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown’

If this were a ‘Friends’ episode, this monologue would be called ‘the one where Schroeder calls out Lucy for being crabby. This humorous confrontation is a light-hearted pick especially if you’re auditioning for the role of a young character. Monologue Length: 40 seconds - 1 minute “I'm sorry to have to say it to your face, Lucy, but it's true. You're a very crabby person. I know your crabbiness has probably become so natural to you now that you're not even aware when you're being crabby, but it's true just the same. You're a very crabby person and you're crabby to just about everyone you meet. Now I hope you don't mind my saying this, Lucy, and I hope you're take it in the spirit that it's meant. I think we should be very open to any opportunity to learn more about ourselves. I think Socrates was very right when he said that one of the first rules for anyone in life is 'Know Thyself'. Well, I guess I've said about enough. I hope I haven't offended you or anything.”

13. “It pains me very much to have to speak frankly to you, Lady Bracknell…” - Jack from ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’

This classic work by Oscar Wilde is best known for its cleverness and wit. While much of the text comes across as prim and proper, the play is a farce commenting on social hierarchies and traditions of the upper class. Monologue Length: 1:05 - 1:15 “It pains me very much to have to speak frankly to you, Lady Bracknell, about your nephew, but the fact is that I do not approve at all of his moral character. I suspect him of being untruthful. I fear there can be no possible doubt about the matter. This afternoon during my temporary absence in London on an important question of romance, he obtained admission to my house by means of the false pretence of being my brother. Under an assumed name he drank, I’ve just been informed by my butler, an entire pint bottle of my Perrier-Jouet, Brut, ’89; wine I was specially reserving for myself. Continuing his disgraceful deception, he succeeded in the course of the afternoon in alienating the affections of my only ward. He subsequently stayed to tea, and devoured every single muffin. And what makes his conduct all the more heartless is, that he was perfectly well aware from the first that I have no brother, that I never had a brother, and that I don’t intend to have a brother, not even of any kind. I distinctly told him so myself yesterday afternoon.”

14. “Medium” Monologue by Joseph Arnone

In this contemporary piece, Derek might have a bit of a “Napoleon complex." Put your unique spin on his character with this unique monologue (available on monologueblogger.com) if you’re looking for something new and modern. Monologue Length: 1:30 - 1:45 DEREK: “I’m a medium. Why do you keep asking me if I’m a small? Do I look like a hobbit to you? I have wide shoulders. (standing up from his seat) Look. Look at me. See how my shoulders are wide and then as you go down it starts to V, that’s because I have wide shoulders, alright? (beat) I know the last shirt you got me was a small and still looked big on me. That’s because it was made that way. That’s the design of how that company makes that style shirt. There are other companies I can get in a large, like that coat you made fun of me in, that was the style, a little baggy…well, actually, yeah, you’re right about the coat. It was too big. Why did I buy a coat so big?? (beat) Honey, do I suffer from a slight case of Napoleon disease? Not like a big case but like a small case…you think? Well, my height is 5’11 so I’m no Napoleon. What? I am 5’11! I’m not 5’9. Listen, when we measured last time it was in an old house with crooked flooring, alright? Your mother’s floor is still the original from 1910. It’s all lopsided. Everyone’s height fluctuates in that house depending on where they’re standing. Your Uncle Tobey, who’s 2’2 was staring down at me in the kitchen and then in the living room he was at my knees. Come on, that’s not fair. I’m no smaller than 5’10, that I’m one hundred percent sure about. On my life, I swear on my life about that and that’s still a good height for a guy so I’m not complaining. I’ll give you the inch. But please, most shirts fit me as a medium, so order me a medium.”

15. “God, Gloria, how I always loved this!” - Leo from ‘At Long Last Leo’

This play touches on human nature, family dynamics and the promise of a better life. Leo is addicted to thinking, hoping and changing which can be seen in this excerpt from ‘At Long Last Leo.’ Monologue Length: 1:05 - 1:15 “God, Gloria, how I always loved this! (sits on the ground) Being out back at night, looking up at the sky. It always made me think about what an extraordinary tourist attraction the world is. About all the famous people who've lived here, and all the incredible events that have happened right here on this planet. Sometimes, you know what I think about? I think about all the incredible events that have happened that history never knew about. I mean it is unbelievable some of the things that must have happened that, for one reason or another, we don't know about. Sometimes, I think about all the amazing coincidences that have happened that you hear about. And then I think about all the amazing coincidences that almost happened, but didn't...because one guy went down the canned food aisle just as the other one went down the baking goods aisle. I can feel this planet, Gloria. I swear I can actually feel this planet hurtling through space. Fast. Much faster than we realize. (then) Know what else I think about that's weird? What if it turns out I really am the next Moses? Can you imagine? What if I really am?”

16. “You know why men are constantly fighting instead of working together to survive?” - Barry from ‘Dreams In Captivity’

It’s a man’s world in this short monologue from Gabriel Davis’ ‘Dreams In Captivity.’ Find your distinct inspiration for Barry, a Lazy Boy salesman who has a thing or two to say. Monologue Length: 40 seconds - 1 minute “You know why men are constantly fighting instead of working together to survive? Simple. Man is mainly motivated to sit on his ass. Our greatest inventors are busy right now finding more ways for us to sit on our ass better. And when they make it, men will kill to sit on it. Wars will happen because every man wants the best Lazy Boy Recliner in the galaxy. AND I SELL IT. I sell a deluxe Lazy Boy outfitted with massagers, heating pads, a cooling unit for drinks – it’s the closest experience of comfort a man can get on earth short of climbing back through his mother’s hoo-ha into the womb. If it's a choice between that and helping you colonize space? No contest.”

17. “If music be the food of love, play on.” - Orsino from ‘Twelfth Night’

All the world’s a stage and, therefore, we must end our collection with another monologue by Shakespeare. Orsino, a powerful nobleman, is the definition of lovesick. Command the audition room with this hilarious declaration of love. Monologue Length: 40 seconds - 1 minute “If music be the food of love, play on; Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die. That strain again! it had a dying fall: O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound, That breathes upon a bank of violets, Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more: 'Tis not so sweet now as it was before. O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou, That, notwithstanding thy capacity Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there, Of what validity and pitch soe'er, But falls into abatement and low price, Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy That it alone is high fantastical.”

Have a great comedic monologue to share with other actors? Comment below…

[post_title] => 17 Comedic Monologues For Men [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 17-comedic-monologues-for-men [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-25 09:50:37 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-25 13:50:37 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369032 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [4] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 369009 [post_author] => 440 [post_date] => 2018-10-23 09:59:24 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-23 13:59:24 [post_content] => It’s hard to believe it’s been fifteen years since “Wicked” flew onto Broadway. The musical took audiences by storm when it first premiered in 2003, bringing a new side to the age-old story of Oz and the Wicked Witch of the West. To commemorate the Broadway smash hit, NBC announced a well-timed Halloween special “A Very Wicked Halloween: Celebrating 15 years on Broadway” that will air on Monday, October 29th.

Here’s what Wicked fans can expect for the musical special:

Beloved Songs

wicked musical, wicked halloween special The one-hour television special is set to be a celebration of song, with acts performing the beloved tunes from the hit Broadway show. A full list of included songs has yet to be released, but that hasn’t stopped fans from speculating and hoping that their favorites will be on deck that evening. Fan footage shot of Ariana Grande at the recent taping confirms her as the performer of the powerhouse number “The Wizard and I.”

Reprising the Roles

You can’t say “Wicked” without thinking of the ladies who made Elphaba and Galinda household names in the Broadway world. Acclaimed Broadway legends Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth will reunite for the night and treat audiences to a reprise of the friendship we’ve all been missing.

Past and Present

Chenoweth and Menzel won’t be the only leading ladies onstage for the evening. Glindas and Elphabas from previous shows will join in the celebration, taking the stage with the OGs. Fans can even score a sneak peek of the current production, as Broadway’s Glinda, Amanda Jane Cooper, and Elphaba, Jessica Vosk, will be amongst the group. Other members of the current Broadway company will make appearances through the evening as well.

From Fans to Featured Performers

Wicked has garnered fans of all ages over the years, including those with famous names and faces. Never shy about expressing her love for the show, Ariana Grande is confirmed to perform and fan footage of her performance created buzz when it recently made the rounds online. And Grande isn’t the only big name to pay homage to the show. Popular acapella group Pentatonix is set to perform, as well as “Wicked” alumni Adam Lambert, and multi-talented actress/singer Ledisi. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnNlevqBScU

Behind the Scenes

There would be nothing to celebrate without composer and lyricist Stephen Schwartz, so naturally, he will grace the stage during the show. Filmed at the famous Marquis Theater in New York, the night is sure to be hit with Emmy and Tony-winning Producer Mark Platt at the helm, as well as additional members of the original Broadway team, Ricky Kirshner and Glenn Weiss. So grab all of your favorite witches, light a few jack-o-lanterns, and celebrate a return to the land of ruby slippers, the yellow brick road, and magical possibility. There’s no place like home. Channel: NBC Time: 10/9c

You May Like: Quiz: Which Wicked Character Are You?

[post_title] => Wicked Is Coming To Television This Halloween [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => wicked-is-coming-to-television-this-halloween [to_ping] => [pinged] => https://theatrenerds.com/which-wicked-character-are-you/ [post_modified] => 2018-10-23 12:02:58 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-23 16:02:58 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369009 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [5] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368873 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-10-19 09:16:51 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-19 13:16:51 [post_content] => [viralQuiz id=88]

You May Like: 12 Halloween-Themed Cast Albums To Get You In A Spooky Mood

[post_title] => Quiz: Which Spooky Show Tune Should Be Your Halloween Soundtrack? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => which-spooky-show-tune-should-be-your-halloween-soundtrack [to_ping] => [pinged] => https://theatrenerds.com/12-halloween-themed-cast-recordings-get-spooky-mood/ [post_modified] => 2018-10-19 09:23:18 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-19 13:23:18 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368873 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [6] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368961 [post_author] => 1978 [post_date] => 2018-10-17 11:33:14 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-17 15:33:14 [post_content] => All of us are guilty of fangirling over our favorite play or actor now and then, so here are some guidelines for when you're dealing with someone who's got it bad for Hamilton. If there's any you think were left out, feel free to leave a comment. [post_title] => 10 Things You Should Never Say To A Hamilton Fan [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 10-things-you-should-never-say-to-a-hamilton-fan [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-17 11:33:14 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-17 15:33:14 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368961 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 4 [filter] => raw ) [7] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368493 [post_author] => 1294 [post_date] => 2018-10-15 22:39:16 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-16 02:39:16 [post_content] => It was my birthday recently. It's the 4th October (or October 4th for strange people). I turned 16. Yes I'm young. You know how these work now. If you want to see the others look below. Best Musicals of the 2000s Best Musical Revivals of the 2000s Best Musicals of the 90s Best Musicals of the 80s Best Musicals of the 70s [post_title] => Rank The Tony Winning Best Musicals Of The 60s! [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => rank-the-tony-winning-best-musicals-of-the-60s [to_ping] => [pinged] => https://theatrenerds.com/vote-best-musical-2000s/ [post_modified] => 2018-10-16 09:43:33 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-16 13:43:33 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368493 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [8] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368663 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-09 00:08:26 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-09 04:08:26 [post_content] => We've all been to or heard of those auditions where 50 kids show up and sing the same three songs over and over again. Even though there aren't too many songs for a child's range, these are 10 suggestions for kids. When I say kids, I mean 6 to 13-year-olds. So, up to the end of middle school. If your voice has already started to develop or you're in high school go check out my other lists. [post_title] => 10 Musical Audition Songs For Kids And Tweens [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 10-musical-audition-songs-for-kids-and-tweens [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-09 00:08:26 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-09 04:08:26 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368663 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [9] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368609 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-07 12:10:09 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-07 16:10:09 [post_content] => Sopranos. The Classic ingenue or damsel in distress. Quite frequently sopranos are put into the box of being the princess. Even though most modern musical theatre songs are written for Mezzo-belters, there are still some good audition songs out there for sopranos. [post_title] => 10 Soprano Audition Songs That Are NOT Princess Songs [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 10-soprano-audition-songs-that-are-not-princess-songs [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-24 11:45:50 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-24 15:45:50 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368609 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [10] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368485 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-05 20:25:01 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-06 00:25:01 [post_content] => Rule of thumb, if you are auditioning for a Sondheim musical sing a Sondheim song. If you are not auditioning for something that was written by Sondheim, do not sing a Sondheim song. With this being said, a very popular song for young tenors to sing in an audition is "Giants in the Sky". Just because it's popular doesn't make it a bad song. Here are 10 songs for Tenors. [post_title] => 10 Tenor Audition Songs That Are NOT 'Giants In The Sky' [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 10-tenor-audition-songs-that-are-not-giants-in-the-sky [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-09 00:07:17 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-09 04:07:17 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368485 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [11] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368190 [post_author] => 2027 [post_date] => 2018-10-05 12:49:48 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-05 16:49:48 [post_content] => We'll tell you which Fun Home character you really are. [post_title] => Quiz: Which "Fun Home" Character Are You? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => closed [post_password] => [post_name] => quiz-which-fun-home-character-are-you [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-05 12:52:22 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-05 16:52:22 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=snax_quiz&p=368190 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => snax_quiz [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [12] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368269 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-04 13:49:38 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-04 17:49:38 [post_content] => It's very easy to pick a song from Les Mis for an audition. If you want to sing out all of your sad feelings here are 10 audition songs that are not "On my own". [post_title] => 10 Mezzo Belter Audition Songs That Are NOT "On My Own" [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 10-mezzo-belter-audition-songs-that-are-not-on-my-own [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-04 19:47:18 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-04 23:47:18 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368269 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [13] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368075 [post_author] => 68 [post_date] => 2018-10-03 01:22:39 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-03 05:22:39 [post_content] => Time to declare your #rolegoals

Would you rather?

[post_title] => Would You Rather: Broadway Dream Role Edition [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => closed [post_password] => [post_name] => would-you-rather-broadway-dream-role-edition [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-05 11:34:54 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-05 15:34:54 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=snax_poll&p=368075 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => snax_poll [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [14] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368017 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-10-02 15:28:52 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-02 19:28:52 [post_content] => Let’s face it: preparing for an audition is nearly as stressful as the audition itself. For many performers, much of that pre-audition anxiety comes in the form of choosing a well-suited monologue. Just like every actress, every monologue brings something new to the table - especially when it comes to comedy!

Next time you’re looking to slay an audition with a funny monologue (YAS, QUEEN!), peruse this diverse collection.

Here are 17 great comedic monologues for women:

1. “So, the day after I turned 18…” - Val Clarke from ‘A Chorus Line’

Chances are, you and Val have at least one thing in common: you’re familiar with the trials and tribulations of auditioning. This witty monologue, from the acclaimed musical, ‘A Chorus Line,’ denotes one dancer’s darkly comedic journey to the Broadway stage. Monologue Length: 2:10 - 2:30 “So, the day after I turned 18, I kissed the folks goodbye, got on a Trailways bus - and headed for the big bad apple. Cause I wanted to be a Rockette. Oh, yeah, let's get one thing straight. See, I never heard about "The Red Shoes," I never saw "The Red Shoes," I didn't give a fu** about "The Red Shoes." I decided to be a Rockette because this girl in my home town - Louella Heiner - had actually gotten out and made it in New York. And she was a Rockette. Well, she came home one Christmas to visit, and they gave her a parade. A goddamn parade! I twirled a friggin' baton for two hours in the rain. Unfortunately though, she got knocked up over Christmas. Merry Christmas - and never made it back to Radio City. That was my plan. New York, New York. Except I had one minor problem. See, I was ugly as sin. I was ugly, skinny, homely, unattractive and flat as a pancake. Get the picture? Anyway, I got off this bus in my little white shoes, my little white tights, little white dress, my little ugly face, and my long blonde hair - which was natural then. I looked like a fucking nurse! I had 87 dollars in my pocket and seven years of tap and acrobatics. I could do a hundred and eighty degree split and come up tapping the Morse Code. Well, with that kind of talent I figured the Mayor would be waiting for me at Port Authority. Wrong! I had to wait 6 months for an audition. Well, finally the big day came. I showed up at the Music Hall with my red patent leather tap shoes. And I did my little tap routine. And this man said to me: Can you do fankicks? - Well, sure I could do terrific fankicks. But they weren't good enough. Of course, what he was trying to tell me was...it was the way I looked, not the fankicks. So I said: Fuck you, Radio City and the Rockettes! I'm gonna make on Broadway! Well, Broadway, same story. Every audition. I mean I'd dance rings around the other girls and find myself in the alley with the other rejects. But after a while I caught on. I mean I had eyes. I saw what they were hiring. I also swiped my dance card once after an audition. And on a scale of 10....they gave me for dance 10. For looks: 3."

2. “I can’t open sardines and answer the phone…” - Dotty Otley from ‘Noises Off’

Who doesn’t love an audition where you’re playing a character auditioning to play a character? This play-within-a-play features Dotty Otley, a washed-up actress who has a flare for the dramatics. Dotty is not only a principal investor in the play’s production but cherishes the role of Mrs. Clackett, a gossipy housekeeper. Monologue Length: 1:10 - 1:25 “It’s no good you going on. I can’t open sardines and answer the phone. I’ve only got one pair of feet. Hello…. Yes, but there’s no one here, love…. No, Mr. Brent’s not here...He lives here, yes, but he don’t live here now because he lives in Spain… Mr. Philip Brent, that’s right…. The one who writes the plays, that’s him, only now he writes them in Spain… No, she’s in Spain, too, they’re all in Spain, there’s no one here… Am I in Spain? No, I’m not in Spain, dear. I look after the house for him, but I go home at one o’clock on Wednesday, only I’ve got a nice plate of sardines to put my feet up with, because it’s the royal what’s-it’s called on the telly -- the royal you know -- where’s the paper, then? And if it’s to do with letting the house then you’ll have to ring the house-agents, because they’re the agents for the house…. Squire Squire, Hackham and who’s the other one…? No, they’re not in Spain, they’re next to the phone in the study. Squire, Squire, Hackham, and hold on, I’ll go and look. Always the same, isn’t it. Soon as you take the weight off your feet, down it all comes on your head."

3. “I sighted a herd near Penguin’s Creek” - Lady Mary from ‘The Admirable Crichton’

monologues for women If it’s traveling back in time you like, choose the words of Lady Mary Lasenby, daughter of an English lord who is stuck on a deserted island with fellow aristocrats. Derived from a play by James M. Barrie (creator of ‘Peter Pan’), this challenging monologue proves a unique pick. Monologue Length: 45 seconds - 1 minute "I sighted a herd near Penguin’s Creek, but had to creep round Silver Lake to get to windward of them. However, they spotted me and then the fun began. There was nothing for it but to try and run them down, so I singled out a fat buck and away we went down the shore of the lake, up the valley of rolling stones; he doubled into Brawling River and took to the water, but I swam after him; the river is only half a mile broad there, but it runs strong. He went spinning down the rapids, down I went in pursuit; he clambered ashore, I clambered ashore; away we tore helter-skelter up the hill and down again. I lost him in the marshes, got on his track again near Bread Fruit Wood, and brought him down with an arrow in Firefly Grove."

4. “[Let me] tell you again, Grace, how important it is to give everyone a chance.” - Mrs. Armstrong from ‘The Best Christmas Pageant Ever’

monologue Enter Mrs. Armstrong: veteran Christmas pageant director dedicated to ensuring one church’s amateur stage adaptation of the story of Jesus’ birth does the Bible justice. Tackle her hilarious lecture, and you’re sure to bring a little holiday cheer to the room. Monologue Length: 1:15-1:30 "[Let me]tell you again, Grace, how important it is to give everyone a chance. Here’s what I do -- I always start with Mary and tell them we must choose our Mary carefully because Mary was the mother of Jesus… Yes, and then I tell them about Joseph, that he was God’s choice to be Jesus’ father. That’s how I explain that. Frankly, I don’t ever spend much time on Joseph because it’s always Elmer Hopkins, and he knows all about Mary and Joseph, but I do explain about the Wise Men and the shepherds and how important they are. And I tell them, there are no small parts, only small actors. Remind the angel choir not to stare at the audience, and don’t let them wear earrings and things like that. And don’t let them wear clunky shoes or high heels. I just hope you don’t have too many baby angels, Grace, because they’ll be your biggest problem. You’ll have to get someone to push the baby angels on, otherwise they get in each other’s way and bend their wings. Bob could do that, and he could keep an eye on the shepherds too. Oh, another thing about the angel choir. Don’t let them wear lipstick. They think because it’s a play that they have to wear lipstick, and it looks terrible. So tell them…. And, Grace, don’t use just anybody’s baby for Jesus… get a quiet one. Better yet, get two if you can… then if one turns out to be fussy, you can always switch them."

5. “I got a 'C' on my coathanger sculpture?” - Sally Brown from ‘You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown’

I got a c monologue Charlie Brown and friends may be a mere bunch of kids, but the beauty of the hit musical, “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown” is that a cast of adult actors brings this motley crew to life. Poor Sally garners an average ‘C’ grade for a school sculpture, and she has a thing or two to say about it… Monologue Length: 1 Minute "A 'C'? A 'C'? I got a 'C' on my coathanger sculpture? How could anyone get a 'C' in coathanger sculpture? May I ask a question? Was I judged on the piece of sculpture itself? If so, is it not true that time alone can judge a work of art? Or was I judged on my talent? If so, is it fair that I be judged on a part of my life over which I have no control? If I was judged on my effort, then I was judged unfairly, for I tried as hard as I could! Was I judged on what I had learned about this project? If so, then were not you, my teacher, also being judged on your ability to transmit your knowledge to me? Are you willing to share my 'C'? Perhaps I was being judged on the quality of coathanger itself out of which my creation was made...now is this not also unfair? Am I to be judged by the quality of coat hangers that are used by the drycleaning establishment that returns our garments? Is that not the responsibility of my parents? Should they not share my 'C'?"

6. “Do you know what I intend?” - Lucy Van Pelt from ‘You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown’

comedic monologues for women If it’s another member of Charlie Brown’s gang that strikes your fancy (or if you have a knack for dishing severe sass), check out this infamous declaration by the incomparable Lucy Van Pelt. Spoiler alert: she intends to be a QUEEN! Monologue Length: 1 Minute "Do you know what I intend? I intend to be a queen. When I grow up I’m going to be the biggest queen there ever was, and I’ll live in a big palace and when I go out in my coach, all the people will wave and I will shout at them, and...and...in the summertime I will go to my summer palace and I’ll wear my crown in swimming and everything, and all the people will cheer and I will shout at them... What do you mean I can’t be queen? Nobody should be kept from being a queen if she wants to be one. It’s usually just a matter of knowing the right people.. ..well.... if I can’t be a queen, then I’ll be very rich then I will buy myself a queendom. Yes, I will buy myself a queendom and then I’ll kick out the old queen and take over the whole operation myself. I will be head queen."

7. “I’m sorry, but a good HALF of the United States hates pigeons.” - Janet from ‘The West Wing’

Jenny Kirlin’s short play offers plenty of witty political humor. If you’re in need of a shorter monologue, consider reading this snippet of theatre that features a great opening line (we do hate pigeons!) Monologue Length: 30 Seconds "I’m sorry, but a good HALF of the United States hates pigeons. One third shoots them for game. I’m not the only bad guy here. You would have voted for an elephant if it had told you it could fix the economy. Which, by the way, is still not fixed. A giant goose egg. [...] I’m sorry if I am offending you, but I find it more than a little offensive that I just walked my daughter past a portrait of a pigeon in the National Art Gallery before I came here."

8. “Well nothing’s perfect Benjamin” - Elaine Robinson from ‘The Graduate’

If you’re a film buff as well as a theatre nerd, you may enjoy reading from the stage version of cult-classic blockbuster, ‘The Graduate.’ Your part? Elaine Robinson, daughter of Mrs. Robinson (*cue Simon & Garfunkel*). Monologue Length: 1 Minute "Well nothing’s perfect Benjamin. I wish my mother didn’t drink so much. I wish I’d never fallen out of that tree and broken my thumb because it so affects my fingering I’ll probably never play the violin as well as I’d love to but that’s about it for the bullshit, Benjamin. It’s only bullshit if you let it pile up. Heaven’s in the details. Someone said that. I think Robert Frost said that. I was in this diner with my roommate Diane? And this guy came along with a goat on a rope and it turns out the reason he’s got a little goat on a rope is that he was thrown out the day before for bringing in his dog? But the point is that Diane had stood up to leave when she saw the man walk in and she sat straight down again and said, well if there’s a goat I think I’ll have dessert. And that’s why I love Diane, because if you think like that you not only notice more little goats, you get more dessert."

9. “O, I am out of breath in this fond chase!” - Helena from ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’

Are your acting chops shown best when getting in tune with old-school theatre? A Shakespeare monologue can do no wrong. Fortunately, The Bard did auditionees the favor of writing comedies and tragedies; and “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” is one of his most beloved comedic plays. To read Helena’s monologue or not to read Helena’s monologue, that is the question… Monologue Length: 45 Seconds "O, I am out of breath in this fond chase! The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace. Happy is Hermia, wheresoe'er she lies; For she hath blessed and attractive eyes.  How came her eyes so bright? Not with salt tears: If so, my eyes are oftener wash'd than hers. No, no, I am as ugly as a bear; For beasts that meet me run away for fear: Therefore no marvel though Demetrius  Do, as a monster fly my presence thus. What wicked and dissembling glass of mine Made me compare with Hermia's sphery eyne? But who is here? Lysander! on the ground! Dead? or asleep? I see no blood, no wound. Lysander if you live, good sir, awake"

10. “And why, I pray you?” - Rosalind from ‘As You Like It’

We’ve another Shakespearean gem for you: Cue Rosalind, the smart, cunning and beautiful heroine of ‘As You Like It.’ Yes, this comedic piece also has a dramatic flair to it but the text lends itself to some witty interpretations. Monologue Length: 1:20-1:30 "And why, I pray you? Who might be your mother, That you insult, exult, and all at once, Over the wretched? What though you have no beauty,-- As by my faith, I see no more in you Than without candle may go dark to bed,-- Must you be therefore proud and pitiless? Why, what means this? Why do you look on me? I see no more in you than in the ordinary Of nature's sale-work. Od's my little life! I think she means to tangle my eyes too. No, faith, proud mistress, hope not after it: 'Tis not your inky brows, your black silk hair, Your bugle eyeballs, nor your cheek of cream, That can entame my spirits to your worship. You foolish shepherd, wherefore do you follow her, Like foggy south puffing with wind and rain? You are a thousand times a properer man Than she a woman: 'tis such fools as you That make the world full of ill-favour'd children: 'Tis not her glass, but you, that flatters her; And out of you she sees herself more proper Than any of her lineaments can show her. But, mistress, know yourself: down on your knees, And thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love: For I must tell you friendly in your ear, Sell when you can; you are not for all markets. Cry the man mercy; love him; take his offer: Foul is most foul, being foul to be a scoffer. So take her to thee, shepherd. Fare you well."

11. “I don’t know what it is with me lately but I just get so UGH!” - Kim from ‘Rather Be A Man’

Joseph Arnone’s one-act play, ‘Rather Be A Man’ chronicles two girls who are totally done with men being men. The e-play (available for download on MonologueBlogger.com) features a dark-clever reading into the mind of modern women. Monologue Length: 1:05-1:15 KIM: "I don’t know what it is with me lately but I just get so UGH! when guys come up to me, with their cheesy lines, (imitating guy) “Hey, you have such a beautiful smile” or “Can I just tell you that you are so beautiful”.  Ugh!  It disgusts me.  I mean, who the hell does this guy or that guy think he is to give me such compliments?  What gives him the right?  I don’t do anything to give off any kind of interest whatsoever, I completely look the other way when I see eye contact happening and they STILL come over thinking they’re so suave and it’s simply repulsive.  You know what I’m saying?? What does a girl have to do these days?  Maybe if I just vomited on myself the guy would walk the other way but I bet even then, I’d get, “The way you vomit on yourself is just so, so delightful.” …All I want is to be left alone.  I have a man, I love my man and I do my best to be polite but the irritation and the cheesy lines are getting to be too much.  Guys are blind, they really are, OBLIVIOUS to when a girl is not interested.  There are days when I rather be a man."

12. ‘Don’t Look At Me’ monologue by Joseph Arnone

This monologue brings to life the high-power attitude of one high-powered fashion designer. If it’s Meryl Streep in ‘Devil Wears Prada’ that acts as your creative muse, take a look at this monologue and add your own personality to this major diva supreme. Monologue Length: 45 Seconds -1:00 Elmira: "Don’t look at me.  (points) You.  Eh, eh, eh…when I address you, do not look at me.  No eye contact.  Is that understood?  Look away.  (beat)  Okay, look at me now.  (snaps her fingers) I told you not to look at me.  Even if I tell you to look at me, do not look at me. Understood?  Good, good darling. (she removes her gloves and hands them to her assistant) Oh!  I have something in my eye, can you help me?  (pointing) Looking, looking, looking!  NO looking under all circumstances. You must raise up that attention span of yours.  A fish could retain more darling.  That is true.  I have read it.  Less attention span than a fish. Do not let that be you darling."

13. “Something I’ve resurrected from that old trunk!” - Amanda Wingfield from ‘The Glass Menagerie’

Own the audition room with some Tennessee Williams as you portray Amanda Wingfield, one of the most well-known roles in ‘The Glass Menagerie.’ Though chock full of drama, there are bits of comedic relief throughout the award-winning play. This monologue is spoken by Amanda, an aging and overbearing mother. Monologue Length: 2 Minutes "Possess your soul in patience - you will see! Something I've resurrected from that old trunk! Styles haven't changed so terribly much after all. [She parts the portières.] Now just look at your mother ! [She wears a girlish frock of yellowed voile with a blue silk sash. She carries a bunch of jonquils - the legend of her youth is nearly revived.] [Feverishly]: This is the dress in which I led the cotillion, won the cakewalk twice at Sunset Hill, wore one spring to the Governor's ball in Jackson ! See how I sashayed around the ballroom, Laura? [She raises her skirt and does a mincing step around the room.] I wore it on Sundays for my gentlemen callers ! I had it on the day I met your father. I had malaria fever all that spring. The change of climate from East Tennessee to the Delta - weakened resistance I had a little temperature all the time - not enough to be serious - just enough to make me restless and giddy. Invitations poured in - parties all over the Delta! - 'Stay in bed,' said mother, 'you have fever!' - but I just wouldn't. - I took quinine but kept on going, going ! Evenings, dances ! - Afternoons, long, long rides! Picnics. - lovely! - So lovely, that country in May. - All lacy with dogwood, literally flooded with jonquils! - That was the spring I had the craze for jonquils. Jonquils became an absolute obsession. Mother said, 'Honey, there's no more room for jonquils.' And still I kept on bringing in more jonquils. Whenever, wherever I saw them, I'd say, "Stop ! Stop! I see jonquils ! I made the young men help me gather the jonquils ! It was a joke, Amanda and her jonquils ! Finally there were no more vases to hold them, every available space was filled with jonquils. No vases to hold them? All right, I'll hold them myself - And then I - [She stops in front of the picture.] met your father ! Malaria fever and jonquils and then - this - boy.... [She switches on the rose-coloured lamp.] I hope they get here before it starts to rain."

14. ‘Ferret Envy’ monologue by Tara Meddaugh

Ferret murderers and unconventional pets run amok in this monologue by playwright Tara Meddaugh. Maybe you’re looking to read something that reflects your unique, one-of-a-kind sense of humor. We think this bizarrely wild scenario might do just the trick. Monologue Length: 2 Minutes Jyoti: "I know you think I murdered your ferret, but—hey, stop crying. You’re gonna make me cry too. And you (starts crying)—know—happens—when—we—both—start—oh! I’m doing it too now…Okay. Okay. What would Zena do? Julia, your ferret ran away. He did. I know you don’t want to believe me, but I know this, because…well, I saw him. And I was wearing my glasses, so I had 20/20. Or 20/30. I need a new prescription. But I could still see it was Foozu, and he was wearing the yellow rain slicker, not the winter coat you tie dyed for him, so I think he was headed for Seattle. And, I don’t think we should go after him, Julia. That Payless box wasn’t big enough; you always forgot to feed him, and when you did, it was usually just pebbles and sticks—and I really don’t think ferrets can live on that. Seattle has a lot more to offer Foozu. Food, drinks, warm shelter, intellectual stimulation, perpetual contentment. He deserves that, don’t you think? I, I know coming in and seeing me with the knife over Foozu’s box makes it look rather strange. But. . . Well. . . You miss him, don’t you? (pause) I could be your ferret. Don’t dismiss it right away. I’d be a good pet. I like to curl up in small places and I don’t mind rocks and sticks. You could knit me a winter coat, and you don’t even have to tie dye it if you don’t want to. That’s okay with me. Is that okay with you? I’m gonna just rinse this knife off and throw this little bag away, and then I’ll curl up in my box. I found a new one—a size 11! I’ll wait for you there and you can throw me a ball, okay? Unless, you don’t want me to be your ferret. You don’t need to back away from me. . . Don’t you want me here anymore? If I’m not here, who’s going to sing to you? I know the entire soundtrack to Sleepless In—don’t be scared—I’ll—but I don’t know where I’m supposed to go, Julia. (pause) I could follow Foozu. I could—I could go to Seattle. . . . I’ll follow Foozu. But Julia, when I go, you’ll have to clean off the knife again—I won’t be able to do it. . . . I don’t have a yellow slicker."

15. “Brothers and sisters, resist the Devil…” - Sarah Brown from ‘Guys and Dolls’

Step up onto your soapbox and dive into the role of Sarah Brown. In a buzzing New York City, Sarah is set on bringing truth to sinners. This lively monologue is one of the most memorable from this Tony Award-winning musical. Monologue Length: 45 Seconds - 1 Minute "Brothers and sisters, resist the Devil and he will flee from you. That is what the Bible tells us. And that is why I am standing here, in the Devil's own city, on the Devil's own street, prepared to do battle with the forces of evil. Hear me, you gamblers! With your dice, your cards, your horses! Pause and think before it is too late! You are in great danger! I am not speaking of the prison and the gallows, but of the greater punishment that awaits you! Repent before it is too late! Just around the corner is out little mission where you are always welcome to seek refuge from this jungle of sin. Come here and talk to me. Do not think of me as Sergeant Sarah Brown, but as Sarah Brown, your sister. Join me, Brothers and Sisters, in resisting the Devil, and we can put him to flight forever."

16. “Oh! It is strange…” - Gwendolen Fairfax from ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’

[caption id="attachment_368038" align="alignnone" width="662"] Photo: Bryan-Brown[/caption] Oscar Wilde’s classic work is fully titled, ‘The Importance of Being Earnest, A Trivial Comedy for Serious People.’ It’s incomparable wit and wordplay is perfect monologue content as can be seen by these words from leading lady Gwendolen Fairfax: Monologue Length: 1:05 - 1:15 "Oh! It is strange he never mentioned to me that he had a ward. How secretive of him! He grows more interesting hourly. I am not sure, however, that the news inspires me with feelings of unmixed delight. [Rising and going to her.] I am very fond of you, Cecily; I have liked you ever since I met you! But I am bound to state that now that I know that you are Mr. Worthing’s ward, I cannot help expressing a wish you were—well, just a little older than you seem to be—and not quite so very alluring in appearance. In fact, if I may speak candidly— [...] Well, to speak with perfect candour, Cecily, I wish that you were fully forty-two, and more than usually plain for your age. Ernest has a strong upright nature. He is the very soul of truth and honour. Disloyalty would be as impossible to him as deception. But even men of the noblest possible moral character are extremely susceptible to the influence of the physical charms of others. Modern, no less than Ancient History, supplies us with many most painful examples of what I refer to. If it were not so, indeed, History would be quite unreadable."

17. “My aunt died of influenza, so they said.” - Eliza Doolittle from ‘My Fair Lady

comedic monologues women, funny monologues for girls Take on one of the most beloved characters of all time (and on Broadway currently). Quirky and lovable, this Eliza Doolittle monologue is an excellent pick for any woman who knows that the rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain! Monologue Length: 55 Seconds - 1 Minute "My aunt died of influenza, so they said. But it's my belief they done the old woman in. Yes Lord love you! Why should she die of influenza when she come through diphtheria right enough the year before? Fairly blue with it she was. They all thought she was dead. But my father, he kept ladling gin down her throat. Then she come to so sudden that she bit the bowl off the spoon. Now, what would you call a woman with that strength in her have to die of influenza, and what become of her new straw hat that should have come to me? Somebody pinched it, and what I say is, them that pinched it, done her in. Them she lived with would have killed her for a hatpin, let alone a hat. And as for father ladling the gin down her throat, it wouldn't have killed her. Not her. Gin was as mother's milk to her. Besides, he's poured so much down his own throat that he knew the good of it."

You Might Like: 8 Strong Female Monologues From Shakespeare

Have a great comedic monologue to share with other women? Comment below...

Research credit to stageagent.com , monologueblogger.com 
[post_title] => 17 Comedic Monologues For Women [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 17-comedic-monologues-for-women [to_ping] => [pinged] => https://theatrenerds.com/strong-female-monologues-shakespeare/ [post_modified] => 2018-10-02 15:46:56 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-02 19:46:56 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368017 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [15] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 367954 [post_author] => 639 [post_date] => 2018-09-28 21:23:30 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-09-29 01:23:30 [post_content] => How many Broadway shows can you name with just the first line of the opening number? Don't let the images below throw you off ;) [viralQuiz id=85]

Try Another Quiz: Can You Identify The Musical Based On One Image?

[post_title] => Quiz: Name These Shows Based On The First Line Of The Opening Number [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => quiz-name-shows-based-first-line-opening-number [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-09-29 12:28:48 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-09-29 16:28:48 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=367954 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [16] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 367944 [post_author] => 440 [post_date] => 2018-09-28 11:38:40 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-09-28 15:38:40 [post_content] => Contrary to popular belief, arts and sports have points of similarity. Both require intense determination, focus, determination and practice to achieve the highest results and are evaluated in a publicly viewed final test. And while Broadway does have its yearly Tony Awards to celebrate and honor outstanding artistic achievement, but what if it also had its own Olympics in which arts and sports collided?

Here are nine awards we’d like to see given out at the Broadway Olympics:

1. Highest Note

via GIPHY Singing does require a certain amount of natural talent, but singers also train and keep their vocal chords in healthy shape to sing at their highest level. It’s safe to say that anyone who plays Christine in “The Phantom of the Opera” would likely qualify for this event.

2. Fastest Quick-Change

via GIPHY Actors could give Olympic sprinters a run for their money when it comes to making a costume change before reappearing onstage in record time.

3. Most Difficult Dance Sequence Completed Without Falling

via GIPHY Similar to figure skating or gymnastics, this event’s judging would examine artistic factors and difficulty. Newspaper dancing, anyone?

4. Longest-Lasting Stage Makeup

Broadway Olympics, Theatre Nerds The sweat is real, and making it through a show without sweating off makeup can be a race of its own.

5. Longest Dance Sequence

via GIPHY Speaking of sweat, who doesn’t love a big, rousing dance number? Mix equal parts sweat with stamina, and those dancers leave everyone wondering how they haven’t collapsed from exhaustion.

6. Longest Note Held

via GIPHY Audiences love when singers blow their minds by holding a note longer than anyone ever thought humanly possible. Work those diaphragms, people!

7. Most Intense Sexual Tension

via GIPHY This is the you-could-cut-that-craziness-with-a-knife-and-why-can’t-these-two-just-get-it-together-already kind that has you shipping that couple throughout the show and long after you leave the theatre.

8. Most Convincing Death Scene

This event requires precision, emotional depth, and the right physicality to make it believable. The combination needs to be exact, which means there is a higher likelihood of getting it wrong. Done right, and audiences should be left ugly-crying their hearts out.

9. Best Stage Combat Sequence

Broadway olympics categories Stage combat is a lot like dancing. Choreographed sequences require actors to hit each mark at precisely the right time to avoid the risk of injury. Footwork, prop wielding and turns are only a few of the things actors must remember while also delivering lines and remaining in character. It takes fencing to a whole other level. It takes work to hone a craft of any kind — and more than winning the award itself, part of the draw to the Olympics is seeing someone finally achieve that goal they set for themselves. So, if your dream is to be up on that stage someday, study those who are successful in the arts but also look beyond to those at the top of other fields, like athletics. Inspiration can come from the most surprising places.

If Broadway had its own Olympics, what events would you want to see? Let us know in the comments below...

[post_title] => 9 Competitions We’d Love To See If Broadway Had Its Own Olympics [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 9-competitions-wed-love-to-see-if-broadway-had-its-own-olympics [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-09-28 11:38:40 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-09-28 15:38:40 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=367944 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [17] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 367777 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2018-09-27 00:10:10 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-09-27 04:10:10 [post_content] => Hamilton: An American Musical has become a phenomenon that has transcended Broadway and into main stream culture. With the enormous size of its track list, there are no shortage of 'Awesome, Wow' quotes from the lyrics. Though the story of Hamilton's life is over 200 years old, many of the themes seem so relevant today. We put together some of our favorite quotes (Lyrics)... Some are serious, some are salty, and the others pretty much speak for themselves.

Here are 39 of our favorite Hamilton musical quotes:

1.

My name is Alexander Hamilton

And there’s a million things I haven’t done But just you wait, just you wait

- Hamilton (Alexander Hamilton)

2.

How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten Spot in the Caribbean by Providence, impoverished, in squalor Grow up to be a hero and a scholar? - Hamilton (Alexander Hamilton)

3.

If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for? - Hamilton (Aaron Burr, Sir)

4.

I am not throwing away my shot I am not throwing away my shot Hey yo, I'm just like my country I'm young, scrappy, and hungry And I'm not throwing away my shot - Hamilton (My Shot)

5.

Raise a glass to freedom Something they can never take away - Mulligan, Laurens, & Lafayette (The Story Of Tonight)

6.

Look around, look around at how Lucky we are to be alive right now - Eliza AND Peggy (The Schuyler Sisters)

7.

'Cause when push comes to shove I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love - King George (You'll Be Back)

8.

Dying is easy, young man. Living is harder - Washington (Right Hand Man)

9.

Look into your eyes, and the sky’s the limit I’m helpless! - Eliza (Helpless)

10.

And when you said “Hi,” I forgot my dang name, set my heart aflame, ev’ry part aflame - Angelica (Satisfied)

11.

Love doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes and we keep loving anyway - Burr (Wait For It)

12.

If they don’t reach a peace, that’s alright Time to get some pistols and a doctor on site - Laurens (10 Duel Commandments)

13.

How does a ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower Somehow defeat a global superpower? - Burr (Guns and Ships)

14.

I’m takin this horse by the reins makin’ Redcoats redder with bloodstains - Lafayette (Guns and Ships)

15.

Let me tell you what I wish I’d known When I was young and dreamed of glory: You have no control: Who lives, who dies, who tells your story - Washington and Company (History Has Its Eyes On You)

16.

I’m runnin’ with the Sons of Liberty and I am lovin’ it! See, that’s what happens when you up against the ruffians We in the shit now, somebody gotta shovel it! Hercules Mulligan, I need no introduction When you knock me down I get the fu** back up again! - Mulligan (Yorktown)

17.

You're on your own Awesome...wow - King George (What Comes Next)

18.

We'll bleed and fight for you We'll make it right for you If we lay a strong enough foundation We'll pass it on to you We'll give the world to you and you'll blow us all away

- Burr (Dear Theodosia)

19.

Why do you write like you’re running out of time? Write day and night like you’re running out of time? Ev’ry day you fight, like you’re running out of time - Burr (Non-Stop)

20.

'Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’ We fought for these ideals; we shouldn’t settle for less These are wise words, enterprising men quote ‘em Don’t act surprised, you guys, cuz I wrote ‘em - Jefferson (Cabinet Battle #1)

21.

My dearest, Angelica “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow Creeps in this petty pace from day to day” I trust you’ll understand the reference to Another Scottish tragedy without my having to name the play - Hamilton (Take A Break) Couldn't  leave out the nod to the Bard ;)

22.

No one really knows how the Parties get to yesssss The pieces that are sacrificed in Ev’ry game of chesssss We just assume that it happens But no one else is in The room where it happens. - Burr (The Room Where It Happens)

23.

Have you an ounce of regret? You accumulate debt, you accumulate power. Yet in their hour of need, you forget. - Jefferson (Cabinet Battle #2)

24.

How you say, no sweat We're finally on the field. We’ve had quite a run Immigrants: We get the job done - Hamilton and Lafayette (Yorktown)

25.

Ev'ry action has its equal, opposite reactions. Thanks to Hamilton, our cabinet’s fractured into factions. Try not to crack under the stress, we’re breaking down like fractions. We smack each other in the press, and we don’t print retractions I get no satisfaction witnessing his fits of passion The way he primps and preens and dresses like the pits of fashion - Thomas Jefferson (Washington On Your Side)

26.

I wrote my way out of hell I wrote my way to revolution I was louder than the crack in the bell I wrote Eliza love letters until she fell I wrote about The Constitution and defended it well - Hamilton (Hurricane)

27.

History has its eyes on you. - Washington, Eliza, Angelica & Maria (Hurricane)

28.

You and your words flooded my senses Your sentences left me defenseless You built me palaces out of paragraphs You built cathedrals - Eliza (Burn)

29.

My name is Philip I am a poet I’m a little nervous, but I can’t show it I’m sorry, I’m a Hamilton with pride You talk about my father, I cannot let it slide - Philip (Blow Us All Away)

30.

Talk less! Smile more! Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for! - Burr (Election of 1800)

31.

I wanna be in the room where it happens - Burr (Your Obedient Servant)

32.

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory - Hamilton (The World Was Wide Enough)

33.

I hope that you burn - Eliza (Burn)

34.

I'm a diamond in the rough, a shiny piece of coal Tryin' to reach my goal, my power of speech: unimpeachable

- Hamilton (My Shot)

35.

Work! - Schuyler Sisters (The Schuyler Sisters)

36.

You say our love is draining and you can't go on You'll be the one complaining when I am gone - King George (You'll Be Back)

37.

Rise up! - Hamilton, Burr, Mulligan, Laurens, Lafayette (Right Hand Man)

38.

We rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes. And if there's a reason I'm still alive when everyone who loves me has died I'm willing to wait for it. - Burr (Wait For it)

39.

I’m a General. Whee!!!! - Lee (Stay Alive)

Did we miss your favorite Hamilton Musical quote? Put it in the comments below...

[post_title] => Top 39 Quotes From Hamilton: An American Musical [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 39-quotes-from-hamilton-musical [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-09-27 10:41:24 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-09-27 14:41:24 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=367777 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 5 [filter] => raw ) [18] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 367643 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2018-09-14 14:13:10 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-09-14 18:13:10 [post_content] => It's that time of year again... the time where we WATCH ALL THE MUSICALS! Although we're continuously starving to have more musicals on Netflix, there have been some noteworthy additions in the recent months. Some qualifications for being a 'Musical' are fuzzy and debatable, so we apologize to the purists out there. *Stage versions will be labeled (Stage) in title. List applies to US

So without further ado, here are all the Netflix Musicals this fall:

1. RENT

In this musical, set in the 90s, New Yorkers struggle with their jobs, love lives and the effects of the AIDS epidemic on their society.

2. Newsies: The Broadway Musical (Stage)

Musicals on netflix 2018, netflix musicals Newsies is  based on the 1992 film, which was inspired by the Newsboys Strike of 1899 in New York City. Music by Alan Menken, lyrics by Jack Feldman, and book by Harvey Fierstein.

3. The Phantom of the Opera

'From his hideout beneath a 19th century Paris opera house, the brooding Phantom (Gerard Butler) schemes to get closer to vocalist Christine Daae (Emmy Rossum)'. Source: Wikipedia

4. Mamma Mia!

Donna, an hotelier in the Greek islands, is getting ready for her daughter's wedding with the help of two old friends. Sophie, the bride, crafts a plan. She invites three men from her mother's past in hope of meeting her real father and having him walk her down the aisle on her wedding day.

5. Shrek The Musical (Stage)

The greatest fairy tale never told comes to life in this colorful, song-filled, Tony Award-winning Broadway production based on the hit movie. Starring: Sutton foster and Brian d'Arcy James

6. Beauty and the Beast

Held captive in an enchanted castle where clocks and candlesticks come to life, a brave young woman clashes with a beastly but good-hearted prince.

Starring: Emma Watson, Dan Stevens, Luke Evans

7. The Last 5 Years

A novelist and his actress wife recall the story of their relationship through music, starting from opposite points in time and meeting in the middle.

Starring: Anna Kendrick, Jeremy Jordan, Natalie Knepp

8. Moana

A Polynesian girl destined to be her island's chief makes a perilous trip with a boastful demigod to undo his mistake and save her people.

Starring: Auli'i Cravalho, Dwayne Johnson, Rachel House

9. Emo the Musical

We all new this was coming right? Expelled from private school for attempted suicide, emo Ethan enters the world of Seymour High and meets a cute Christian who's ready to convert him.

Starring: Benson Jack Anthony, Jordan Hare, Rahart Adams

10. High School Musical 3

A group of seniors who are having a hard time leaving high school behind stage a musical expressing their hopes and fears about the future.

Starring: Vanessa Hudgens, Corbin Bleu, Zac Efron

11. Opening Night

Once a rising star on Broadway, Nick is now the perennially pestered production manager for a new musical dedicated to rock music's one-hit wonders.

Starring: Topher Grace, Alona Tal, Anne Heche

12. Mulan

Disney brings an ancient legend to life in this animated tale of a tomboy who disguises herself as a man so she can fight with the Chinese Army.

Starring: Miguel Ferrer, Harvey Fierstein, June Foray

13. Trolls

When their fellow Trolls are captured by hungry Bergens, upbeat Princess Poppy and her grouchy pal Branch embark on the adventure of a lifetime.

Starring: Anna Kendrick, Justin Timberlake, Russell Brand

14. Hercules

The heavenly Hercules is stripped of his immortality and raised on Earth instead of Olympus, where he's forced to take on Hades and assorted monsters.

Starring: Tate Donovan, Danny DeVito, James Woods

15. Country Crush

country crush musical, country crush netflix

A city girl falls for a country boy who follows her to New York, but their romance may be over when she must choose between love and a music career.

Starring: Jana Kramer, Munro Chambers, Madeline Merlo

16. The Prince of Egypt

Born into slavery but raised as the son of a pharaoh, Moses accepts his destiny: to lead the Hebrews out of slavery and into freedom.

Starring: Val Kilmer, Ralph Fiennes, Michelle Pfeiffer

17. White Christmas

netflix musicals white Christmas

Two war buddies fall for two sisters and follow the girls to a resort owned by their former commanding officer, who is in danger of losing the place.

Starring: Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney

18. Pocahontas

A young American Indian girl tries to follow her heart and protect her tribe when settlers arrive and threaten the land she loves.

Starring: Irene Bedard, Mel Gibson, David Ogden Stiers

19. Cherry Pop

When the headliner at a drag bar refuses to perform, a young newcomer makes his debut while backstabbing queens fling insults behind the curtain.

Starring: Allusia Alusia, Misty Violet, Tempest DuJour

20. Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart

Equipped with a mechanical heart and determined to stay out of death's shadow, young Jack understands that love could prove fatal.

Starring: Orlando Seale, Samantha Barks, Harry Sadeghi

21. Holy Camp

holy camp, holy camp movie

In this musical comedy, two rebellious teen girls who love electronic music have a life-changing brush with the divine at a camp run by nuns.

Starring: Macarena García, Anna Castillo, Belén Cuesta

22. Joseph: King of Dreams

With his gift of dream interpretation and his brilliantly colored coat, Joseph inspires jealousy in his brothers in this animated Bible story.

Starring: Ben Affleck, Mark Hamill, Richard Herd

23. A Star Is Born (1976)

a star is born barbra streisand

In this recut personally supervised by Barbra Streisand, a gifted songbird's marriage to an aging rocker falls apart as her star rises and his falls.

Starring: Barbra Streisand, Kris Kristofferson, Gary Busey

24. Beat Bugs: All Together Now

After winning a local talent show, the Beat Bugs journey to compete on "The Bug Factor," a televised singing contest held in faraway Rocket Ship Park.

Starring: Ashleigh Ball, Lili Beaudoin, Charles Demers
They you have it. Obviously Netflix is still lacking in prime musical entertainment, but progress has been slowly made!

What musicals do you want on Netflix? Leave a reply below...

Many musical descriptions are credited to Netflix [post_title] => All The Musicals On Netflix This Fall (2018) [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => all-musicals-netflix-fall-2018 [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-09-14 14:40:03 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-09-14 18:40:03 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=367643 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 20 [filter] => raw ) [19] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 367515 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-09-12 10:00:18 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-09-12 14:00:18 [post_content] => Tony nominated Paul Gordon has turned Jane Austen's 'Emma' into a musical! You can even enter to win a free stream of it HERE Take the quiz to find out which character you identify with most... [viralQuiz id=84] https://www.facebook.com/theatrenerds/videos/866196050434629/ [post_title] => Quiz: Which Character From Jane Austen's 'Emma' Are You? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => quiz-which-character-from-jane-austens-emma-are-you [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-09-12 10:01:01 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-09-12 14:01:01 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=367515 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [20] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 367557 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2018-09-06 12:17:38 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-09-06 16:17:38 [post_content] => Calling all tenors! We've put together a list of audition songs that are underrated and aren't performed as often in the audition room. This can help you bring something fresh to the casting director and make you stick out from the crowd.

Here are 53 great audition songs for tenors:

1. One Track Mind from Sweet Smell of Success

Range : E4-A5

Style : Uptempo Swing (Contemporary)

Mood : Showstopper, Flamboyant

MORE DETAILS

2. Love To Me from The Light In the Piazza

Range : D4-F#5

Style : Ballad (Contemporary)

Mood : Romantic, Passionate, Re-assuring

MORE DETAILS

3. Beethoven Day from You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown

Range : D4-Ab5

Style : Uptempo (Contemporary)

Mood : Soulful, Energetic, Charismatic

MORE DETAILS

4. Saturn Returns from Myths and Hymns

Range : C3-Bb4

Style : Ballad (Contemporary)

Mood : Soulful, Tragic, Heartbroken

MORE DETAILS

5. Many Moons Ago from Once Upon A Mattress

Range : D3-G#4

Style : Ballad (Golden Age)

Mood : Romantic, Story-Telling, Inviting

MORE DETAILS

6. One More Beautiful Song from A Class Act

Range : C4-F5

Style : Ballad (Contemporary)

Mood : Inspired, Futuristic, Intimate

MORE DETAILS

7. She Was There from The Scarlet Pimpernel

Range : C#4-G#5

Style : Ballad (Pop Opera)

Mood : Romantic, Nostalgic, Introspective

MORE DETAILS

8.Where In the World from The Secret Garden

Range : F4-Ab5

Style : Uptempo (Pop Opera)

Mood : Anxious, Desperate, Afraid

MORE DETAILS

9. Prayer of the Comfort Counselor from The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Range : E4-B5

Style : Uptempo (Contemporary)

Mood : Soulful, Encouraging, Rousing

MORE DETAILS

10. Into The Fire from The Scarlet Pimpernel

Vocal Part : Tenor

Range : D4-Ab5

Style : Uptempo (Pop Opera)

MORE DETAILS

11. Fifty Million Years Ago from Celebration

Vocal Part : Tenor

Range : Eb3-F4

Style : Uptempo

MORE DETAILS

12. The Games I Play Ago from Falsettos

Range : B3-G5

Style : Ballad (Contemporary)

Mood : Romantic, Regretful, Introspective

MORE DETAILS

13. Buffalo Nickel Photoplay Inc. from Ragtime

Range : B3-F#5

Style : Uptempo (Contemporary)

Mood : Enthusiastic, Comedic

MORE DETAILS

14. I’m Martin Guerre from Martin Guerre

Range : D4-A5

Style : Uptempo (Pop Opera)

Mood : Vengeful, Intimidating, Plotting

MORE DETAILS

15. Race You to the Top of the Morning from The Secret Garden

Range : Db4-Ab5

Style : Ballad (Contemporary)

Mood : Story-telling, Fatherly, Dramatic

MORE DETAILS

16. Quasimodo from When Pigs Fly

Range : D3-A4

Style : Uptempo Swing (Contemporary)

Mood : Flirtacious, Romantic, Flamboyant

MORE DETAILS

17. When I’m Not Near the Girl I Love from Finian's Rainbow

Range : B3-D5

Style : Midtempo Waltz (Golden Age)

Mood : Comedic, Romantic

MORE DETAILS

18. The Mason from Working

Range : B3-G5

Style : Ballad (Soft Rock)

Mood : Inspirational, Uplifting, Futuristic

MORE DETAILS

19. Heaven on Their Minds from Jesus Christ Superstar

Range : D4-C6

Style : Uptempo Rock

Mood : Menacing, Critical, Desperate

MORE DETAILS

20. How Glory Goes from Floyd Collins

Range : Bb3-G5

Style : Ballad (Contemporary)

Mood : Introspective, Nostalgic, Bittersweet

MORE DETAILS

21. The Flower Garden of My Heart from Pal Joey

Range : Eb4-G5

Style : Midtempo (Golden Age)

Mood : Romantic, Light-hearted, Carefree

MORE DETAILS

22. Drift Away from Grey Gardens

Range : D4-F5

Style : Ballad (Contemporary)

Mood : Jazzy, Nostalgic, Romantic

MORE DETAILS

23. What Is It About Her? from The Wild Party

Range : C4-Ab5

Style : Midtempo (Contemporary)

Mood : Passionate, slight Latin rhythm, Seductive

MORE DETAILS

24. Enjoy The Trip from Bring It On: The Musical

Range : C4-Ab5

Style : Midtempo (Contemporary)

Mood : Nostalgic, Romantic, Intimate

MORE DETAILS

25. Stranger from Big Fish

Range : C4-G5

Style : Uptempo (Contemporary)

Mood : Uplifting, Inspirational, Futuristic

MORE DETAILS

26. Her Voice from The Little Mermaid

Range : D4-F#5

Style : Ballad (Contemporary)

Mood : Disney, Romantic, In Awe

MORE DETAILS

27. No Moon from Titanic

Range : E4-G5

Style : Midtempo Waltz (Pop Opera)

Mood : Romantic, Serene

MORE DETAILS

28. The Proposal/The Night Was Alive from Titanic

Range : E4-E5, C4-G5

Style : Ballad (Pop Opera)

Mood : Romantic, Hopeful, Nostalgic

MORE DETAILS

29. I Never Knew from Far From Heaven

Range : C#4-G#5

Style : Ballad (Contemporary)

Mood : Jazzy, Confessional, Coming Clean

MORE DETAILS

30. The Streets of Dublin from A Man of No Importance

Range : E4-A5

Style : Uptempo (Contemporary)

Mood : Cheerful, Observant, In Awe

MORE DETAILS

31. Let It Sing from Violet

Range : D4-Eb5

Style : Uptempo (Contemporary)

Mood : Racially Specific, Retro, Inspirational

MORE DETAILS

32. I'd Rather Be Sailing from A New Brain

Range : A3-Gb5

Style : Ballad (Contemporary)

Mood : Inspirational, Hopeful, Futuristic

MORE DETAILS

33. I Chose Right from Baby

Range : Bb3-Eb5

Style : Midtempo (Soft Rock)

Mood : Romantic, Youthful, Intimate

MORE DETAILS

34. A Man Could Go Quite Mad from The Mystery of Edwin Drood

Range : A3-G5

Style : Uptempo (Pop Opera)

Mood : Fascinated, Scary, Villainous

MORE DETAILS

35. I Will Follow You from Milk and Honey

Range : D4-Bb5

Style : Ballad (Golden Age)

Mood : Romantic, Passionate

MORE DETAILS

36. The Thought of You from Fanny

Range : E3-A4

Style : Midtempo (Golden Age)

Mood : Romantic, Passionate, Driving

MORE DETAILS

37. Fanny from Fanny

Range : Bb3-Eb5

Style : Ballad (Golden Age)

Mood : Romantic, Passionate

MORE DETAILS

38. You Walk With Me from The Full Monty

Range : B3-B5

Style : Ballad (Contemporary)

Mood : Romantic, Intimate

MORE DETAILS

39. I Am In Love from Can-Can

Range : C4-F5

Style : Midtempo (Golden Age)

Mood : Romantic, Light-hearted, Carefree

MORE DETAILS

40. Come With Me from The Boys From Syracuse

Range : B2-F#4

Style : Uptempo (Golden Age)

Mood : Romantic, Lighthearted, Inviting

MORE DETAILS

41. You Are Never Away from Allegro

Range : B3-G5

Style : Uptempo (Golden Age)

Mood : Romantic, Lighthearted

MORE DETAILS

42. Awaiting You from Myths and Hymns

Range : G3-F5

Style : Ballad (Contemporary)

Mood : Contemplative, Soulful, Introspective

MORE DETAILS

43. The Day After That from Kiss of the Spider Woman

Range : D4-A5

Style : Midtempo

Mood : Majestic, Troubled, yet Hopeful

MORE DETAILS

44. Alive from Jekyll and Hyde

Range : D4-E5

Style : Uptempo (Pop Opera)

Mood : Fascinated, Scary, Villainous

MORE DETAILS

45. I’ll Be There from The Pirate Queen

Range : C4-A5

Style : Ballad (Pop Opera)

Mood : Romantic, Hopeful, Passionate, Jealous

MORE DETAILS

46. All Good Gifts from Godspell

Range : D4-A5

Style : Ballad (Soft Rock)

Mood : Inspirational, Uplifting

MORE DETAILS

47. Love Can’t Happen from Grand Hotel

Range : D#4-A5

Style : Midtempo

Mood : Romantic, Passionate

MORE DETAILS

48. Fortune Favors the Brave from Aida

Range : Bb3-G5

Style : Uptempo (Contemporary Rock)

Mood : Triumphant, Powerful

MORE DETAILS

49. Oh, Is There Not One Maiden Breast? from The Pirates of Penzance

Range : G3-Gb4 (optional Bb4)

Style : Ballad (Operetta)

Mood : Romantic, Desperate, Lonesome

MORE DETAILS

50. 30/90 from Tick, Tick…Boom!

Range : E3-A5

Style : Uptempo (Contemporary Rock)

Mood : Hopeful yet Anxious

MORE DETAILS

51. My Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada from Avenue Q

Range : Range: B2–G4

Style : Uptempo

Mood : Comedic

52. I Am Aldolpho from The Drowsy Chaperone

Range : Range: E2 (optional)–A4

Style : Midtempo

Mood : Comedic

53. I Don’t Understand the Poor from A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder

Range : Range: B2–G4

Style : Midtempo

Mood : Comedic

You May Like: 16 Underrated Contemporary Tenor Roles

Have one we missed? Leave your favorite tenor audition song in the comments below...

[post_title] => 53 Refreshing Audition Songs For Tenors [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 53-refreshing-audition-songs-for-tenors [to_ping] => [pinged] => https://theatrenerds.com/audition_songs/come-with-me/ https://theatrenerds.com/audition_songs/enjoy-the-trip/ https://theatrenerds.com/audition_songs/oh-not-one-maiden-breast/ https://theatrenerds.com/audition_songs/awaiting-you/ [post_modified] => 2018-10-17 01:28:59 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-17 05:28:59 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=367557 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [21] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 367522 [post_author] => 391 [post_date] => 2018-09-02 21:43:23 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-09-03 01:43:23 [post_content] => “Why? Why? Why NOTTTTTTTT!!!!!” Aside from cat videos and prank videos, YouTube is an incredible tool for entertainers in the musical theatre field. YouTubers such as Thomas Sanders, Jon Cozart and Malinda Kathleen Reese have made huge names for themselves among musical theatre fans for their hilarious covers and medleys. As for the up-and-coming scene of Broadway-loving YouTubers, one is already making a name for himself with his candid personality and wicked talents. Here are 12 reasons why theatre nerds need to know about Kevin Lynch:

1. His ‘Musical Monday’ Series Is Wildly Entertaining

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHugF53t28U Every Monday, Lynch posts a video of himself singing and playing either an original song or a selection from a musical or movie. His performances are often ambitious, sometimes lasting well over 10 minutes.

2. His Live Reaction Videos Are the Best

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbQmfKJYzDM Lynch also records a series of live reactions while listening to contemporary cast albums and performances gone wrong.

3. His Piano Skills Are Outstanding

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcfU3jiJAw0 Lynch is a music graduate of William Paterson University and used to be a staff accompanist at Juilliard. He has also recorded videos playing works by Mozart and Chopin.

4. He Spotlights Lesser-Known Shows

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38xCnjrfFwQ Lynch sure does his research by mentioning and praising shows with niche cult followings, such as “Bare” and “Glory Days.”

5. He’s Hilariously Blunt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8p66fR8Aw7U Lynch is an outspoken critic of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s music and isn’t afraid to toss a few jabs at musicals such as “Starlight Express” and “Cats.”

6. He’s a Master Parodist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaGEz3GG1yc Formerly his most popular video, “Worst Musical Theatre Song Ever Written for Auditions” pokes fun at all of contemporary musical theatre’s most notorious cliches.

7. He Thoroughly Explains Music Theory in Broadway Shows

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CwRZfbqLmM Lynch uses his music major background to explain common, effective musical trends found in shows such as “Next to Normal” and “Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812.”

8. He’s Writing His Own Musical

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfK-RZSlNgA Lynch is currently writing “Abstinence: The Musical” and has premiered the opening number for his YouTube audience.

9. He Sells His Original Pieces Online

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-u9nHhQm2sM In addition to having an album of original music, Lynch sells sheet music for his original pieces on his website. Recordings can be found on Spotify and iTunes.

10. He Has Helpful Lifestyle Advice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1NY6-oCQHY Lynch has made several videos about his enormous weight loss and how he’s maintained his health over the years.

11. He Does Clever Arrangements of Pop Songs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOfn-AWu0o8 Lynch’s pop covers include a mashup of Mariah Carey and Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, as well as a mashup of “Hello” by Adele and “Let It Go” from “Frozen.”

12. He’s Transparent About His Personal Life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyQRZ0lP9KE Lynch is open about having ADD and how to cope with it and use it to his advantage.

Why do you love Kevin Lynch? Which one of his videos is your favorite? Let us know in the comments!

[post_title] => Why Theatre Nerds Need To Know About Kevin Lynch [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => why-theatre-nerds-need-to-know-about-kevin-lynch [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-09-21 14:23:51 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-09-21 18:23:51 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=367522 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 2 [filter] => raw ) [22] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 366372 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-09-02 10:52:45 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-09-02 14:52:45 [post_content] => [viralQuiz id=79] [post_title] => Create A Showtune Playlist And We'll Tell You Which 'Mamma Mia!' Character You Are [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => create-a-showtune-playlist-and-well-tell-you-which-mamma-mia-character-you-are [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-09-02 10:53:03 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-09-02 14:53:03 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=366372 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [23] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 366730 [post_author] => 1922 [post_date] => 2018-09-02 10:47:58 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-09-02 14:47:58 [post_content] => In my opinion, no particular order. Upvote your favorites. Comment what I forgot! [post_title] => Top 15 Best Broadway Musicals [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => top-15-best-broadway-musicals [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-09-02 10:47:58 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-09-02 14:47:58 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=366730 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [24] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 367426 [post_author] => 1840 [post_date] => 2018-08-31 11:02:09 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-08-31 15:02:09 [post_content] => It’s no secret that stage managers quite literally run the show in the theatre world—and behind every great stage manager is an amazing assistant stage manager. However, whether you’re a rookie or veteran assistant stage manager, it can be tough to take on this job. Here are a few tips that can make it easier for you and everyone else in the cast and crew:

1. Always Get to Rehearsal Early

Assistant Stage manager This can be difficult when you have a crazy schedule, but it’s very important to show up early to rehearsals. You need time to get everything set up and ready so that you’re not in a rush when everyone else gets there. If you forget something or feel unprepared, you’ll feel stressed, and that will put more stress on your stage manager run crew and cast.

2. Teach Your Crew to Work Together

While you may not be able to get your crew to love each other, you can get them to work well together by arming them with all the knowledge they need to get through the show successfully. Before each show, go to each crew member and make sure they know their cues, scene changes and all other duties. Ensure everyone has their cue sheets and always have an extra one on hand, to be safe—someone will inevitably forget theirs. You should also have everyone run their scene changes before the show starts and keep a checklist for yourself so you know you’ve accomplished all your tasks. Your stage manager can also weigh in on whether there’s anything else that needs to be taken care of.

3. Stay Organized

It’s very important to stay organized and keep up with all rehearsal and show reports. You don’t have to print them out the way that a stage manager does, but it’s a good practice to keep them in a file on your computer in case your stage manager forgets one and you need to help him or her out. You should also keep an eye on the stage manager kit to make sure everything is fully stocked and in its place. It’s a nice way to stay organized and keep from running out of anything you might need.

4. Bring Snacks

You don’t have to do this all the time, but it can help the cast and crew’s morale if you bring in snacks such as fruit, cookies or candy every once in a while. Technicians especially tend to skip meals during tech week, so it helps to bring in something small for them. And even if you don’t bring enough for everyone, be sure to always have a snack in your bag in case of an emergency. Being on a show crow can be stressful, but if you do these small things, it will help take some of the stress off of you and the rest of your crew.

Any tips for assistant stage managers? Post them in the comments below!

[post_title] => Tips For Being The Best Assistant Stage Manager You Can Be [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => tips-for-being-the-best-assistant-stage-manager-you-can-be [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-31 11:02:09 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-31 15:02:09 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=367426 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [25] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 366478 [post_author] => 1294 [post_date] => 2018-08-28 21:44:05 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-08-29 01:44:05 [post_content] => Inspired by conversations that happen in real life, vote for the best Showtunes in these select cast albums! [post_title] => Poll: What Are The Best Songs In These Cast Albums? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => closed [post_password] => [post_name] => poll-what-are-the-best-songs-in-these-cast-albums [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-31 11:05:26 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-31 15:05:26 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=snax_poll&p=366478 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => snax_poll [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [26] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 366398 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-08-27 09:26:28 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-08-27 13:26:28 [post_content] => [viralQuiz id=80]

Try Another Quiz: Which Showtune Should You Sing With Your BFF?

[post_title] => Quiz: Build An Ice Cream Sundae To Reveal Which Movie Musical You Should Watch [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => quiz-build-an-ice-cream-sundae-to-reveal-which-movie-musical-you-should-watch [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-09-29 12:13:36 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-09-29 16:13:36 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=366398 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [27] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 366731 [post_author] => 1840 [post_date] => 2018-08-14 21:10:31 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-08-15 01:10:31 [post_content] => From drama club, to college, to professional theatre, I have done a lot of shows in my time as a technician. So, I have compiled a list of plays and musicals that I have worked on that I know other theatre nerds will love. Whether you’ve never heard of these or love them as much as I do, here are some great shows to check out:

1. ‘Duck Hunter Shoots Angel,’ by Mitch Albom

This play is quirky, beautiful and hilarious, with a touch of sadness. It follows the story of a tabloid writer named Sandy to his old home in southern Alabama as he writes a story about Duane and Duwell Ealy, who have supposedly killed an angel while hunting ducks. The story shows bits and pieces of the past Sandy left behind.

2. ‘The Mountaintop’ by Katori Hall

This show is a fictional telling of the night before Martin Luther King Jr. was killed. Katori Hall did an amazing job writing such a powerful and emotional show. It’s hard to even find the words to describe how beautiful this show is, but when you go see it, be ready to laugh, cry and be completely astonished by everything that plays out.

3. ‘She Kills Monsters’ by Qui Nguyen

This show follows the story of Agnes, whose younger sister, Tilly, has been killed in a car wreck. In looking through some of Tilly’s possessions, Agnes finds her “Dungeons and Dragons” notebook and gets to know her sister for the first time as she reads through a quest Tilly wrote. There are so many great effects in this show, with monsters galore and lots of fight scenes.

4. ‘The Drowsy Chaperone’ by Bob Martin and Don McKellar

This silly, fun musical is a show within a show. The Man in the Chair tells the story of his favorite musical, “The Drowsy Chaperone,” to the audience, and the show plays out onstage as he plays the music and tells stories about the original cast.

5. ‘Metamorphoses’ by Mary Zimmerman

Not to be confused with the story about a man turning into a bug, this play follows wonderfully told stories in Greek myths and legends. The stories are told in short vignettes, and yes, there is a full swimming pool onstage in most productions, which makes for some amazing scenes.

Any suggestions on great shows for theatre nerds? Post them in the comments below...

[post_title] => 5 Lesser Known Shows Theatre Nerds Will Love [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 5-lesser-known-shows-theatre-nerds-will-love [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-14 21:12:01 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-15 01:12:01 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=366731 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [28] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 366602 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-08-13 21:36:26 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-08-14 01:36:26 [post_content] => [viralQuiz id=82] [post_title] => Quiz: Can You Guess The Production From The Name Of Its Character? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => quiz-can-you-guess-the-production-from-the-name-of-its-character [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-14 14:27:26 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-14 18:27:26 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=366602 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [29] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 366399 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-08-10 09:33:53 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-08-10 13:33:53 [post_content] => [viralQuiz id=81] [post_title] => Lyric Quiz: How Obsessed With 'Mamma Mia! 2' Are You Really? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => lyric-quiz-how-obsessed-with-mamma-mia-2-are-you-really [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-10 09:33:53 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-10 13:33:53 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=366399 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [30] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 366415 [post_author] => 1790 [post_date] => 2018-08-08 15:08:42 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-08-08 19:08:42 [post_content] => Was Justin innocent? Did the cousins have anything to do with him being busted? What did Naomi mean when she said, "We aren't done," in "The Money?" Was Naomi actually doing her job and doing it right? [post_title] => Poll: 21 Chump Street Opinions [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => closed [post_password] => [post_name] => 21-chump-street-opinions [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-24 23:26:57 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-25 03:26:57 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=snax_poll&p=366415 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => snax_poll [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [31] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 366349 [post_author] => 440 [post_date] => 2018-08-03 09:30:28 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-08-03 13:30:28 [post_content] => Like others before me, I am fortunate to be able to say that theatre was part of my upbringing. When I was quite young, my parents used to pile us all into the family van and drive to visit our family members in other parts of the country. They would pop in the cassette tape soundtracks of “Phantom of the Opera” or “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat,” and my sister and I would sing our hearts out in the backseat (my younger brother grew up and eventually jointed in, although he will never publicly admit it). Our great aunt lived in a small town in eastern Canada, and we spent several of our summers visiting her. The small collection of locals all knew us by name, and the downtown core consisted of a general store, two restaurants, a one-room library, the church and a gas station/video store. Yes, my friends, these were the days of video stores. Thanks to that store, I was introduced to Rodgers and Hammerstein classics collection and my world was never the same. Those summer nights were spent watching Julie Andrews spin through the hills of Austria, Mitzi Gaynor dance across a tropical island and Deborah Kerr waltz through Siam. I desperately wanted more. In the small town I grew up in, “theatre” was a foreign word. If you wanted to see a show, you had to drive to Toronto or fly to New York. My parents did their best to take us to see musicals that came up to Toronto on tour, and it was from those experiences I realized that I needed to be a part of the theatre world. As a nerdy child, I struggled to find where I fit, and watching those productions made me feel less like an outcast. It wasn’t until I started teaching theatre and music that I realized how few young people have access to life theatre. A touring production of “Memphis” came through Toronto, and I picked up a DVD recording of the show at the merch booth at intermission. I showed clips of it to a class of students the following week. It was so quiet in the room that you could have heard a pin drop. They loved the musical so much that I spent the next two weeks listening to them hum it to themselves. I got similar results when I showed the “Hamilton” cast’s performance of “Alexander Hamilton” from the Grammy Awards. Hands went up, and the kids asked where they could see more of that. via GIPHY But even matinee student tickets to a show cost more than many young people and their families can afford. That leaves recordings, which are the closest thing to a live performance some can get so that even kids in small, rural towns can be transported to Broadway and beyond. In an interview on Late Night With Seth Meyers, actor Andrew Rannells recalled that he discovered Broadway as a kid in Nebraska through filmed broadcasts of Broadway shows. The actor recently starred in a revival of “Falsettos” that aired on “Live from Lincoln Centre” on PBS back in October. Like Rannells, having access to recordings of Broadway shows opens the arts up to everyone, in all parts of the world, regardless of age or socioeconomic status. Television is doing its part by staging live musical versions of popular hits such as “Grease,” “Hairspray” and the upcoming “Rent.” But what about shows with less of a cult following or recent hits such as “Dear Evan Hansen?” There needs to be an investment in making Broadway more accessible to the public, or future Audra McDonalds or Lin-Manuel Mirandas may slip through the cracks, never knowing theatre is within the realm of possibility. broadway recordings Access to the dramatic arts allows young people to enter another world that they might not otherwise know. It gives a voice and perspective to those whose stories go unheard or misunderstood. For young people who are forming their view of the world and themselves, the exposure to a new way of thinking could be the turning point. This is especially true if they are struggling to see themselves and where they belong — because everyone belongs in the theatre. In the theatre, we are heard, and we are not alone.

Do you think there should be more recordings of Broadway shows? Let us know in the comments below...

[post_title] => A Call For More Film Recordings Of Broadway Shows [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => a-call-for-more-film-recordings-of-broadway-shows [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-03 09:34:59 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-03 13:34:59 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=366349 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 6 [filter] => raw ) [32] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 364343 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-08-01 09:41:06 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-08-01 13:41:06 [post_content] => [viralQuiz id=77] [post_title] => Quiz: Plan A Summer Vacation And We'll Tell You Which Theatre City To Visit [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => quiz-plan-a-summer-vacation-and-well-tell-you-which-theatre-city-to-visit [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-08-01 09:41:06 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-08-01 13:41:06 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=364343 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [33] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 366260 [post_author] => 1840 [post_date] => 2018-07-31 09:23:24 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-07-31 13:23:24 [post_content] => I’m a professional scenic carpenter. I chose this profession while I was in college, and I love what I do, but this position doesn’t exactly get a lot of attention in the theatre world. In fact, I’ve had so many people ask me what a scenic carpenter even is, so today I’m going to give the answers to the most common questions I get about what I do:

1. What Is a Scenic Carpenter?

Scenic Carpenter Well, that is fairly simple. It’s a person who builds the sets for shows. We are given construction drawings from the technical director, and we build whatever needs to be built. You need a bunch of 22x7-foot walls? We build those walls exactly to the specifications of the set designer and technical director.

2. What Types of Skills Do You Have as a Scenic Carpenter?

I have many different skills. I am very skilled at woodworking and can build pretty much anything you want, just like so many other carpenters out there. Most are also trained in welding, foam carving and paper-mâché and have the ability to use a vast number of power tools. We are also very skilled at solving problems on the fly, since we often encounter tricky issues and have to think fast to solve them in a quick, efficient manner.

3. So, If You Have All These Marketable Skills, Why Use Them for Theatre?

I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked this question. We chose theatre for the same reason a lot of other people have chosen their careers: because we love what we do. We love theatre, even if it is a lot of hard work. Yes, we know our skills could have gotten us a lot of other jobs, but if we wanted those jobs, we would have gotten them. We didn’t choose theatre as a last resort — it’s what we love and what we’re good at.

4. Can You Even Get a Job in That Field?

This is another question I get a lot (along with everyone else who works in theatre). The answer is yes. There is a high demand for carpenters in the theatre space, though sometimes you have to travel a long way from home to get one of these jobs.

5. So, You Started Off as an Actor. Why Didn’t You Stick With That?

Let me just clear one thing up for anyone who has ever asked this question of any theatre technician. We are not failed actors. In fact, a lot of us who started off acting were very good at acting but realized we enjoyed another side of theatre even more. Some of the best carpenters I have worked with have been really good actors, but they chose to do carpentry because they enjoyed creating shows instead of being in them.

6. Doesn’t It Bother You That Your Creations Only Last for a Short Time Before They’re Torn Down?

Scenic Carpenters, stage carpenters, theatre nerds, stage craft Sometimes, yes. I’ve had situations where it would take me months to build a set for a show that was only going to run for three days and would get torn down immediately after it closed. It can be a bit frustrating, but at the same time, I like to look at it like it’s my way of creating art that changes people’s lives. A show’s run might be short, but when people come to see it, they get to escape reality for a bit, and I know I played a part in helping them do so.

Thanks for reading! Have any questions that you get asked a lot about your theatre work? Have any other questions about scenic carpenters? Let us know in the comments below...

[post_title] => A Guide To The Life And Work Of Scenic Carpenters [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => a-guide-to-the-life-and-work-of-scenic-carpenters [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-07-31 09:27:01 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-07-31 13:27:01 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=366260 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 3 [filter] => raw ) [34] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 366242 [post_author] => 391 [post_date] => 2018-07-30 09:50:31 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-07-30 13:50:31 [post_content] => There’s nothing quite like an upbeat and inspiring showtune to start off thespians’ mornings and help them get through their day. Whether you want something classic or contemporary, here are 16 showtunes to blast the second your alarm goes off:

1. ‘Seize the Day,’ from ‘Newsies’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj63Ecf3LQg "Now is the time to seize the day, Answer the call and don't delay. Wrongs will be righted, if we're united. Let us seize the day!"

2. ‘Good Morning’ from ‘Singin’ in the Rain’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bv4z6TORtKY "Good morning Good morning Sunbeams will soon smile through Good morning Good morning to you and you and you and you!"

3. ‘Morning Person’ from ‘Shrek the Musical’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQaVSORGRgs "Good morning birds good morning trees Oh, what a lovely day The suns so big it burns my eye but really that's okay!"

4. ‘Just Another Day’ from ‘Next to Normal’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFt5ggJgrfI "Just another day, for another stolen hour, When the world will feel my power and obey. It's just another day, feeling like I'll live forever."

5. ‘Circle of Life’ from ‘The Lion King’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewOAsUWQJvo "From the day we arrive on the planet And blinking, step into the sun There's more to see than can ever be seen More to do than can ever be done"

6. ‘Day One’ from ‘Groundhog Day’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLjB5_6XGic "Who is that? Who is that? Emerging from his burrow? Who can see today what we won't see until tomorrow?"

7. ‘Bikini Bottom Day’ from ‘SpongeBob SquarePants: The Broadway Musical’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sf9vLUXZcC0 "How I love this town Bikini Bottom When the sun shines down On a beautiful Bikini Bottom day"

8. ‘Opening Up’ from ‘Waitress’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQD1e6V7_ug "The day starts like the rest we've seen Another carbon copy of an old routine Days keep coming One out, one in They keep coming."

9. ‘Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin’’ from ‘Oklahoma’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNEUtN21cuU "Oh, what a beautiful mornin' Oh, what a beautiful day. I've got a beautiful feelin' Everything's goin' my way."

10. ‘In the Heights’ from ‘In the Heights’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0BVfBwVqFo "Lights up on Washington Heights, up at the break of day. I wake up and I got this little punk I gotta chase away. Pop the grate at the crack of dawn, sing While I wipe down the awning Hey y’all, good morning!"

11. ‘A Brand New Day’ from ‘The Wiz’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b26ASkRH0o4 "Everybody look around, 'Cause there's a reason to rejoice you see. Everybody come out, And let's commence to singing joyfully."

12. ‘One Day More’ from ‘Les Misérables’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IddP8AAIGTQ "Tomorrow we'll discover What our god in heaven has in store! One more dawn, One more day, One day more!"

13. ‘Feeling Good’ from ‘The Roar of Greasepaint — The Smell of the Crowd’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pulEa0cfNcw "It's a new dawn; it's a new day; It's a new life for me. Feeling good."

14. ‘Here I Go’ from ‘If/Then’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07_CkayJ5hU "And I've studied all the stories, And what our chances are. Then my heart starts beating faster, And it makes this disaster worst by far. Still, here I go."

15. ‘Good Morning, Baltimore’ from ‘Hairspray’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVVPVyj5Wr8 "Good morning, Baltimore. And someday when I take to the floor, The world's gonna wake up and see Baltimore and me."

16. ‘Buenos Aires’ from ‘Evita’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVWE93FN5SU "I get out here, Buenos Aires. Stand back! You oughta know what you're gonna get in me: Just a little touch of star quality."

What's your favorite showtune to start your day with? Let us know in the comments below...

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This week, Theatre Nerds is rounding up 40 terms that we think every thespian (as well as their perplexed friends and loved ones) should know. Start studying!

1. BLOCKING - Rather than standing in front of someone so that they can’t get by, ‘blocking’ in the theatre world refers to the exact placement on a stage where an actor needs to be during a scene. 2. CALL TIME - The time in which an actor must be present at the theatre for an audition, rehearsal or show. No phones are involved with this kind of call. 3. COLD READING - Put your tissues away. This simply means to read a script with little to no preparation. No rehearsing for you - you’re going in cold! via GIPHY 4. CURTAIN CALL - That magical moment after a production when the cast comes out for a bow and applause. 5. DOWNSTAGE - The front of a stage where performers are closest to the audience. 6. DRAMATURGY - A study of the context in which a production takes place. Generally, a bunch of actors (or a person assigned to the role of dramaturg) research a play’s specific era, location, societal beliefs, traditions, etc. to gain a better understanding of the world where the story is set. 7. DRESSER - A stagehand who aids in keeping costumes neat and tidy, as well as helping performers during costume changes. Not to be confused with a piece of furniture. 8. ENCORE - That epic musical number that occurs after audiences have applauded the finale of a show and cast members have given a closing bow. via GIPHY 9. FOURTH WALL - Sounds like something from the Twilight Zone but is really the conceptual barrier between actor and audience member. Performers that “break the fourth wall” address the audience. 10. FRINGE - Thespian lingo for theatre that is out of the box, avant garde and experimental. 11. FRONT-OF-HOUSE - Areas of a theatre or performing arts venue where the public can be. Antonym: backstage. 12. GHOST LIGHT - A light that stays illuminated on a stage when the auditorium is otherwise unoccupied. Naturally this term was coined by a thespian and therefore super dramatic (and creepy). 13. GOBO - A fancy term for light-based projections that are used during a theatrical production. 14. LOGE - A section of boxed balcony seats located in a theatre. 15. METHOD ACTING - When actors try to achieve complete emotional understanding of their character (i.e., adjusting their lifestyle to align with a role as part of the rehearsal process). 16. OFF BOOK - When actors can finally toss the script aside because they have their lines memorized. 17. OPEN AIR THEATRE - An outdoor theatre. 18. ORCHESTRA - While even non-theatre folks know that the orchestra can refer to live instruments accompanying a show, the term also defines a venue’s main floor seating. 19. PROSCENIUM - The arch or boarder that frames a stage. 20. QUICK CHANGE - A really, really, really, really, really, really fast costume change. 21. RUN THROUGH - When a cast rehearses their entire show from beginning to end. 22. SCRIM - A piece of cloth that’s used as a backdrop on-stage (often lit from behind to create the scene). 23. SITZPROBE - A magical rehearsal where singers and musicians unite to run through musical numbers together. 24. SOLILOQUY - When a character expresses internal thoughts or emotions verbally for the benefit of the audience. Basically, when a character talks to themselves. 25. STAGE DIRECTION - When a play’s text includes instructional movement or gestures. 26. STAGE DOOR - The secret place where theatre nerds fan-girl and get Playbills signed after a show. via GIPHY 27. STAGE MANAGER - (Noun) A magical device usually fueled by caffeine that brings order to chaos. (We even put it on a shirt.) 28. STAGE MOM - Those super-moms that aid their thespian offspring in line running, costume sewing, prop making, shoe shopping, choreography watching, snack supplying, makeup applying, fundraising and more. (We put that on a shirt also.) 29. STRIKE - When the run of a show is done and everyone involved congregates to destroy the set. Tears are probably shed. 30. SUPERNUMERARIES - While this word reminds us of superheroes, it is the Individuals who are onstage during a show to fill in crowd scenes but aren’t actually actors, singers or dancers. (They may have superpowers as well.) 31. SWING - A thespian ninja who has the ability to jump into multiple roles as an understudy at any given moment. 32. TECHIE - A loving term of endearment for those who make the magic happen offstage (aka theatre technicians who work with lights, props, sets, etc.) 33. THEATRE-IN-THE-ROUND - A theatre with seats surrounding every side of the stage. They are also known as arena stages. 34. THE BARD - What ultra-theatre nerds call William Shakespeare. 35. THRUST STAGE - A stage that “thrusts” into the auditorium; there are seats surrounding three sides. 26. TYPECAST - When you’re just ALWAYS cast in a nerdy role. Or ALWAYS the villain. Or ALWAYS that cool sidekick who owns a hairless cat. 37. UNDERSTUDY - It’s like substitute teaching but one step closer to winning a Tony. 38. UPSTAGE - The back of the stage farthest from the audience. 39. UPSTAGED - This word also refers to that theatre kid who constantly tries to outshine everyone. *Cue Beyoncé’s “Diva”* via GIPHY 40. WINGS - The area to the sides of the stage where all things important happen: quick changes occur, props await their moment in the sun, and performers enter onstage.

Have a thespian term you want to include? Share it with us in the comments below!

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