Fast forward to later that summer, when I have made it into an audition only theatre track. My only experience before this was very insignificant. The other students were much older than I am. They all had something unique about them whereas I had six years of martial arts. When asked to "save the day" in a superhero sketch, I accidentally bashed two actors heads together. But then, the worlds of martial arts and Theatre are brought together when I learned about stage combat. In that class, I learned about what it means to be an actor that people want to work with. We have lessons about "Leaving our ego at the door" and that "If you think you know everything about theatre, you are very wrong". Fast forward to that fall. I'm now fifteen years old on the Hair and Make up crew for my school's musical, Barnum. During the day, I have an hour of Theatre class where I learn the history of the art and play improv games. After school, I get to put what I learned in class into action.

That next fall, I'm sixteen years old and an ensemble member in Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella. I'm always two steps behind where I need to be and I'm constantly tripping over my feet since it's my first time wearing high heels. Learning the waltz is becoming tedious as I constantly feel like I'm letting down the rest of the cast. Instead of being pushed to the back in all the dance numbers, a kinder solution is found and everything is slowed down and simplified.

Suddenly, it's the end of my senior year. My time as a Drama Club leader is coming to an end. That year of school I had a principle role in my school's musical, went to the Michigan Thespian Festival and earned an Excellent on a musical theatre solo, learned about directing during the winter play, began adapting scripts and using them in real performances. As a seventeen-year-old, I announced in front of a crowd of my peers "I Mac McDonald, know that I will do theatre for the rest of my life". Around the same time the following year, I am eighteen years old and I am apart of the premiere in an original musical. I would have never thought that I would have an opportunity like that until I was at least 30. A few weeks later, I said for the first time out loud that I want to go to college to become a director. The world of theatre became more than three dimensional as I began to see it from more than just an audience perspective. You taught me that it takes a small army to bring words on a page into something we can see. It takes so much hard work to see just a glimmer of success but that glimmer of success is so worth it. Theatre is an art not only for entertainment, but it can bring people together in such a unique way. You taught me to take pride in my craft no matter what I'm doing or where I am. To my theatre teachers, you have taught me more than what I can possibly explain in an article. No matter how long you have taught me about Theatre, you have been so influential in why I am the Thespian I am today. It takes a phenomenal teacher for a student to realize their full potential. For that, I say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[post_title] => A Thank You To My Theatre Teachers [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => a-thank-you-to-my-theatre-teachers [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-11-15 08:31:35 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-11-15 13:31:35 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369334 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 12163 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-11-11 10:51:35 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-11-11 15:51:35 [post_content] => [viralQuiz id=59] [post_title] => Quiz: How Much Do You Really Know About 'Mamma Mia!'? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => quiz-how-much-do-you-really-know-about-mamma-mia [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-11-11 10:51:35 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-11-11 15:51:35 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=12163 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [3] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 369329 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-11-08 08:32:38 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-11-08 13:32:38 [post_content] => When it comes to living our best lives as thespians, it’s easy to take inspiration from the stage. Any theatre nerd who can’t resist a good show tune knows that Andrew Lloyd Webber is the king of Broadway. From ‘Phantom’ to ‘Cats’ to ‘School of Rock’, Webber has penned songs for numerous musicals that continue to stay relevant and perform across the globe. Start your day off on a positive (music) note with these 25 lyrics from Andrew Lloyd Webber shows:

1. “Don’t try to think ahead. Save tomorrow for tomorrow. Think about today instead.” - ‘What’s The Buzz?’ (Jesus Christ Superstar)

via GIPHY

2. “Stand back--you ought to know what'cha gonna get in me: Just a little touch of star quality!” - ‘Buenos Aires’ (Evita)

3. “Close your eyes and let music set you free.” - ‘The Music Of The Night’ (The Phantom Of The Opera)

4. “And with me in control of the band as a whole, we will rock and we'll roll with our heart and our soul; If you're in raise your hand! I'm in the band!” - ‘You’re In The Band’ (School Of Rock)

5. “If you think it, want it, dream it, then it's real.” - ‘You Are What You Feel/Any Dream Will Do’ (Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat)

6. “I can smile at the old days, I was beautiful then. I remember the time I knew what happiness was. Let the memory live again.” - ‘Memory’ (Cats)

7. “You'll get by, you always have before.” - ‘Another Suitcase In Another Hall’ (Evita)

8. “No more talk of darkness, forget these wide-eyed fears; I'm here, nothing can harm you, my words will warm and calm you.” - ‘All I Ask Of You’ (The Phantom Of The Opera)

9. “We taught the world new ways to dream.” - ‘New Ways To Dream’ (Sunset Boulevard)

10. "There's a light at the end of the tunnel." - ‘Light At The End Of The Tunnel’ (Starlight Express)

11. “With Odin and Zeus on the bass and the drums, and Thor playing tambourine, and Amos and Janis and Kurt will appear, and Jesus’ll toss me a beer; and we’ll jam ‘round the clock at the top of Mount Rock!” - ‘When I Climb To The Top Of Mount Rock’ (School Of Rock)

12. “Try to forgive, teach me to live, give me the strength to try.” - ‘Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again’ (The Phantom Of The Opera)

13. “So look with your heart and not with your eyes, the heart understands, the heart never lies.” - ‘Look With Your Heart’ (Love Never Dies)

14. “With one look I'll ignite a blaze; I'll return to my glory days; They'll say, ‘Norma's back at last!” - 'With One Look' (Sunset Boulevard)

15. “Don't cry for me, Argentina; the truth is I never left you all through my wild days, my mad existence, I kept my promise, don't keep your distance.” - ‘Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina’ (Evita)

16. “Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to problems that upset you, oh. Don't you know everything's alright, yes, everything's fine.” - ‘Everything’s Alright’ (Jesus Christ Superstar)

17. “Let the dream begin.” - ‘The Music of the Night’ (The Phantom Of The Opera)

18. “For we know we shall find our own peace of mind…” - Close Every Door (Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat)

19. “Back when I was younger, wild and bold and free, I can still remember how the music used to be. Chords like rolling thunder, loud beyond control; every note and lyric branded right across my soul.” - ‘Where Did The Rock Go?’ (School Of Rock)

20. ”Only you have the power within you. Just believe in yourself.” - ‘I Am The Starlight’ (Starlight Express)

21. “Feel the early morning madness, feel the magic in the making; why, everything's as if we never said goodbye.” - ‘As If We Never Said Goodbye’ (Sunset Boulevard)

22. “Don't hold back, you are certain to impress!” - ‘Buenos Aires’ (Evita)

23. “Any dream will do.” - ‘Any Dream Will Do’ (Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat)

24. “Let me be your shelter, let me be your light; you're safe, no one will find you, your fears are far behind you.” - ‘All I Ask Of You’ (The Phantom Of The Opera)

25. “Stick it to the man!” - ‘Stick It To The Man’ (School Of Rock)

Have a favorite Andrew Lloyd Webber lyric that you live by? Share it with us in the comments below!

[post_title] => 25 Andrew Lloyd Webber Lyrics That Will Inspire You To Live Your Best Life [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 25-andrew-lloyd-webber-lyrics-that-will-inspire-live-your-best-life [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-11-08 08:41:32 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-11-08 13:41:32 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369329 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [4] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 369269 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2018-11-05 10:08:53 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-11-05 15:08:53 [post_content] => Famous faces as guest stars are a popular fixture of television and can end up being some of the best episodes of a season. An already great idea becomes even better when the guest star on your much-loved show also happens to be your Broadway favorite.

Here are 9 of Broadway’s best guest starring roles:

1. Nathan Lane on “Sex and the City”

Season five of the mammoth hit show “Sex and the City” featured Broadway actor Nathan Lane guest starring as Bobby Fine. Fine is a friend of Carrie Bradshaw who is assumed to be gay and surprises everyone by coming out as straight when he marries Bitsy von Muffling, a wealthy socialite. Nathan Lane plays the part just right and is hilarious every step of the way.

2. Kristin Chenoweth on “Glee”

Broadway legend Chenoweth made several guest appearances on “Glee” as the quick-witted April Rhodes. Chenoweth’s rendition of “Maybe This Time” from “Cabaret” is a showstopper, bringing one character to tears. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAEcmdso-PY

3. Cristin Milioti on “The Mindy Project”

Yes, we all know she played the long speculated role of the mother on “How I Met Your Mother.” But even more hilarious was “Once” actor Cristin Milioti’s five-episode guest spot as Whitney, a high-powered hedge fund manager with a drug problem on “The Mindy Project.” After sobering up, Whitney and Mindy strike up a friendship where the two single pals support each other through their difficult challenges.

4. Jeremy Jordan and Darren Criss on “The Flash/Supergirl Crossover”

Two is better than one in the case of both a superhero crossover episode and beloved Broadway stars Darren Criss and Jeremy Jordan. The pair kicks off a throwback musical number on the episode, with a fully choreographed sequence. What’s not to love? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdq42pasVyo

5. Josh Groban on “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”

While most know Josh Groban for his incredible singing voice, the “Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812” actor is also pretty funny. In his cameo on the musical comedy show, Groban appears to Rebecca while she’s walking home, to dish out some important life advice about not sleeping with your ex-boyfriend’s father. While that is as hilarious as it sounds, the best part has to be when he announces himself by belting out his name. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2U7k7aPKue0

6. Ben Platt on “Will and Grace”

“Dear Evan Hansen” star Ben Platt becomes the new younger man in Will’s life when they meet at a bar. Platt’s character Blake is an over the top, millennial that catches Will’s attention but with whom he later struggles to connect. There are some definite similarities between Platt’s character in this episode and his role as Benji in his breakout film “Pitch Perfect.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoHDadIfPa4

7. Lin Manuel-Miranda on “How I Met Your Mother”

Before his “Hamilton” fame, Miranda unleashed his rhyming powers on Marshall in an episode of the popular television comedy “How I Met Your Mother.” Miranda plays Gus, who raps about Canada and generally annoys Marshall. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BdxYOrCc74

8. John Gallagher Jr on “The West Wing”

A baby-faced Gallagher had a brief stint on the popular Aaron Sorkin drama, “The West Wing.” Coming to the aide of Josh, Donna, and Toby when they are left behind in a small town after a presidential appearance, Gallagher’s Tyler picks them up, and hilarity ensues as they try to get back on track. This is not the “American Idiot” star’s only appearance on a Sorkin show. He went on to play endearing producer Jim Harper on “The Newsroom.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVsQYkx0Ics

9. Andrew Rannells on “Will and Grace”

It seems that Will loves to get his flirt on with the Broadway stars! “Falsettos” Andrew Rannells’ character operates a gay-conversion camp but finds himself falling for Will after a steamy kiss. Rannells is as good as ever, showcasing his perfect comedic timing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBsJAS2ui20

Who is your favorite Broadway guest star? Let us know in the comments below…

[post_title] => The Best Broadway Star Guest Spots On Television [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => broadway-star-guest-spots-television [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-11-05 10:08:53 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-11-05 15:08:53 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369269 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [5] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 369213 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-11-02 09:40:42 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-11-02 13:40:42 [post_content] => You nearly missed your call time, were thrown into a cold read and are hoping for a callback for that audition… and your non-theatre friends have officially stopped listening. As with any industry, the theatre is full of jargon that can sound pretty silly to the outside world.

This week, Theatre Nerds is rounding up 40 terms that we think every thespian (as well as their perplexed friends and loved ones) should know. Start studying!

1. BLOCKING - Rather than standing in front of someone so that they can’t get by, ‘blocking’ in the theatre world refers to the exact placement on a stage where an actor needs to be during a scene. 2. CALL TIME - The time in which an actor must be present at the theatre for an audition, rehearsal or show. No phones are involved with this kind of call. 3. COLD READING - Put your tissues away. This simply means to read a script with little to no preparation. No rehearsing for you - you’re going in cold! via GIPHY 4. CURTAIN CALL - That magical moment after a production when the cast comes out for a bow and applause. 5. DOWNSTAGE - The front of a stage where performers are closest to the audience. 6. DRAMATURGY - A study of the context in which a production takes place. Generally, a bunch of actors (or a person assigned to the role of dramaturg) research a play’s specific era, location, societal beliefs, traditions, etc. to gain a better understanding of the world where the story is set. 7. DRESSER - A stagehand who aids in keeping costumes neat and tidy, as well as helping performers during costume changes. Not to be confused with a piece of furniture. 8. ENCORE - That epic musical number that occurs after audiences have applauded the finale of a show and cast members have given a closing bow. via GIPHY 9. FOURTH WALL - Sounds like something from the Twilight Zone but is really the conceptual barrier between actor and audience member. Performers that “break the fourth wall” address the audience. 10. FRINGE - Thespian lingo for theatre that is out of the box, avant garde and experimental. 11. FRONT-OF-HOUSE - Areas of a theatre or performing arts venue where the public can be. Antonym: backstage. 12. GHOST LIGHT - A light that stays illuminated on a stage when the auditorium is otherwise unoccupied. Naturally this term was coined by a thespian and therefore super dramatic (and creepy). 13. GOBO - A fancy term for light-based projections that are used during a theatrical production. 14. LOGE - A section of boxed balcony seats located in a theatre. 15. METHOD ACTING - When actors try to achieve complete emotional understanding of their character (i.e., adjusting their lifestyle to align with a role as part of the rehearsal process). 16. OFF BOOK - When actors can finally toss the script aside because they have their lines memorized.

17. OPEN AIR THEATRE - An outdoor theatre. 18. ORCHESTRA - While even non-theatre folks know that the orchestra can refer to live instruments accompanying a show, the term also defines a venue’s main floor seating. 19. PROSCENIUM - The arch or boarder that frames a stage. 20. QUICK CHANGE - A really, really, really, really, really, really fast costume change. 21. RUN THROUGH - When a cast rehearses their entire show from beginning to end. 22. SCRIM - A piece of cloth that’s used as a backdrop on-stage (often lit from behind to create the scene). 23. SITZPROBE - A magical rehearsal where singers and musicians unite to run through musical numbers together. 24. SOLILOQUY - When a character expresses internal thoughts or emotions verbally for the benefit of the audience. Basically, when a character talks to themselves. 25. STAGE DIRECTION - When a play’s text includes instructional movement or gestures. 26. STAGE DOOR - The secret place where theatre nerds fan-girl and get Playbills signed after a show. via GIPHY 27. STAGE MANAGER - (Noun) A magical device usually fueled by caffeine that brings order to chaos. (We even put it on a shirt.) 28. STAGE MOM - Those super-moms that aid their thespian offspring in line running, costume sewing, prop making, shoe shopping, choreography watching, snack supplying, makeup applying, fundraising and more. (We put that on a shirt also.) 29. STRIKE - When the run of a show is done and everyone involved congregates to destroy the set. Tears are probably shed. 30. SUPERNUMERARIES - While this word reminds us of superheroes, it is the Individuals who are onstage during a show to fill in crowd scenes but aren’t actually actors, singers or dancers. (They may have superpowers as well.) 31. SWING - A thespian ninja who has the ability to jump into multiple roles as an understudy at any given moment. 32. TECHIE - A loving term of endearment for those who make the magic happen offstage (aka theatre technicians who work with lights, props, sets, etc.) 33. THEATRE-IN-THE-ROUND - A theatre with seats surrounding every side of the stage. They are also known as arena stages. 34. THE BARD - What ultra-theatre nerds call William Shakespeare.

35. THRUST STAGE - A stage that “thrusts” into the auditorium; there are seats surrounding three sides. 26. TYPECAST - When you’re just ALWAYS cast in a nerdy role. Or ALWAYS the villain. Or ALWAYS that cool sidekick who owns a hairless cat. 37. UNDERSTUDY - It’s like substitute teaching but one step closer to winning a Tony. 38. UPSTAGE - The back of the stage farthest from the audience. 39. UPSTAGED - This word also refers to that theatre kid who constantly tries to outshine everyone. *Cue Beyoncé’s “Diva”* via GIPHY 40. WINGS - The area to the sides of the stage where all things important happen: quick changes occur, props await their moment in the sun, and performers enter onstage.

Have a thespian term you want to include? Share it with us in the comments below!

[post_title] => 40 Theatre Terms Every Thespian Should Know [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 40-theatre-terms-every-thespian-should-know [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-11-02 09:40:42 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-11-02 13:40:42 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369213 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [6] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 369200 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-11-02 09:11:51 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-11-02 13:11:51 [post_content] => It's been nearly 30 years since the London premiere of Miss Saigon launching the career of now internationally famous actress, Lea Salonga. Even before her debut as Kim on the West End, Lea Salonga had already been acting in her home country of the Philippines. Lea Salonga is an internationally known name that has blessed everyone with her voice. Did you know that Lea Salonga was only eighteen years old when she originated the role of Kim in Miss Saigon? The story goes that the creative team was unable to find an East Asian actress in the UK so then there was an international search. Salonga sang "On My Own" from Alan Boublil and Claude Michel Schonberg's other musical Les Mis. The panel then asked her to sing "Sun and Moon" from the show. She then earned the leading role of Kim. She then played Kim on the West End, Broadway, and Manila, Philippines.

Salonga is a trailblazer. She was the first Asian woman to win a Tony Award for performance. That was only back in 1991 when Salonga was only 20 years old. She was also the first Asian woman to portray both Eponine and Fantine in Les Miserables. You can see Salonga as Eponine in the 10th-anniversary concert and then as Fantine in the 25th-anniversary "The Dream Cast" concert. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6CA9jGjQmo

Growing up in a world post-Disney renaissance, I grew up with some of the best Disney princesses. Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas, and Mulan. I still remember the day at the mall when I got to go into the Disney store and get a Mulan doll. Mulan was one of the biggest reasons I was interested in martial arts. Lea Salonga provided the singing voices of not only one but two Disney Princesses (Jasmine and Mulan).

Salonga has graced the stages of Broadway, West-End, and her home country of the Philippines. After the West End run of Miss Saigon, Salonga has played Eliza Doolittle, Lizzie Fields, Grizabella, and Helen Bechdel in the Philippines. That's just to name a few of her roles.

Lea Salonga is a spectacular actress whose voice and accomplishments have paved the way for aspiring actresses all over the world. [post_title] => Why Lea Salonga Is Amazing [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => why-lea-salonga-is-amazing [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-11-02 09:11:51 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-11-02 13:11:51 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369200 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [7] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 367108 [post_author] => 1294 [post_date] => 2018-11-01 09:13:22 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-11-01 13:13:22 [post_content] => What do the Theatre Nerds think is the best show by the king of showtunes? Here's a selected 15 to choose! [post_title] => Poll: What Is The Best Stephen Sondheim Show? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => closed [post_password] => [post_name] => poll-what-is-the-best-stephen-sondheim-show [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-11-01 09:16:51 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-11-01 13:16:51 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=snax_poll&p=367108 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => snax_poll [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [8] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368823 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-10-31 09:44:03 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-31 13:44:03 [post_content] => [viralQuiz id=87] [post_title] => Quiz: Order Coffee And We'll Reveal Your Perfect Theatre Mug Match [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => order-coffee-reveal-perfect-theatre-mug-match [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-31 09:45:02 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-31 13:45:02 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368823 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw ) [9] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 369136 [post_author] => 391 [post_date] => 2018-10-27 10:57:10 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-27 14:57:10 [post_content] => Washington, DC's National Theatre has once again been blessed with a new pre-Broadway run, and it is a whole world away from the high school shenanigans of last year's "Mean Girls.” This year's musical adaptation of Tim Burton’s "Beetlejuice" is just in time for the 1988 film’s 30th anniversary. With music and lyrics by Australian comedian and singer-songwriter Eddie Perfect (“Shane Warne, “King Kong”), “Beetlejuice” is an outrageously hilarious spectacle that balances the macabre with the comedic. The cast and crew have brought forth a production that would make Burton and his original cohorts proud. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWeblJlO7a0 Here we have a cast that could not have been better assembled, since they fit their respective roles like a glove... or in this case, like a corpse in a hearse! In the title role is Alex Brightman, who is best known for his Tony-nominated performance as Dewey Finn in "School of Rock." His embodiment of Beetlejuice would make even Michael Keaton shudder. Brightman's portrayal of the shameless, sailor-mouthed miscreant is complete with spot-on accents and a devilishly convincing comical timing. Brightman’s consistently raspy voice throughout the show is proof that the man has vocal cords of steel, and his performance is a must-watch for Tony voters. Alongside him playing Lydia is Sophia Anne Caruso ("The Sound of Music Live!", "Lazarus"). Whereas Winona Ryder's Lydia is low-key and subtle, Caruso's Lydia has more attitude. Lydia grieves over her mother’s death and barely tolerates her selfish, oblivious father, and Caruso nails the angst needed for the self-proclaimed "strange and unusual" goth teenager. Vocally, Caruso has a solid belting register that is far beyond her 17 years. Her first big solo number "Dead Mom" is a midtempo rock number in the vein of Paramore, and I can easily see Caruso fronting her own future band if she chooses to do so. Other standouts in the cast include Broadway veteran Kerry Butler ("Catch Me If You Can," "Mean Girls") and Rob McClure ("Chaplin") as the adorkable recently deceased couple Barbara and Adam Maitland. Leslie Kritzer ("Legally Blonde"), who plays Delia, Lydia's soon-to-be stepmother and life coach, is an absolute riot, as is her co-star Adam Dannheisser ("Oslo"), who plays Lydia's father, Charles. Also noteworthy is Kelvin Moon Loh (“The King and I” 2015 Revival) as Delia’s ethereal guru Otho. Although a minor character, it would be remiss not to applaud Dana Steingold's brief but screamingly funny performance as an innocent, easily scared Girl Scout in the second act. [caption id="attachment_369138" align="aligncenter" width="798"] Beetlejuice musical review

Pictured: Alex Brightman playing Beetlejuice.[/caption] One of the show's most significant assets is its spectacular set, costume, and lighting design. The production is complete with animatronic sandworms and shrimp-arms, not to mention at least five different backgrounds throughout the course of the show. The set's gothic aesthetic is spot-on with Tim Burton's style from the movie, and its immaculate versatility is something that I hope Tony voters remember come spring. Moreover, the costumes are nearly exact replicas of the movie ones (e.g., Beetlejuice’s striped suit and Lydia’s red wedding dress). In classic Broadway fashion, the costume changes in numbers such as “Creepy Old Guy” are swift and stunning. Elsewhere, the lighting design strikes gothic gold. Before the curtain rises, it is covered with a beaming spiral, as if to hypnotize the audience into a world far beyond our darkest fears. Perhaps my favorite use of the lighting is how minimal it is in the netherworld scenes, heightening the Tim Burton-like desolation of the next world. The crew has crafted a flexible set that turns the seemingly impossible into a reality. Meanwhile, the writing is sensational. Like last year’s production of “Mean Girls,” the book here is not just a total copy-and-paste of the movie to the stage. The book writers Scott Brown and Anthony King (both “Gutenberg! The Musical”) have expanded character backstories. For example, the musical opens with Beetlejuice wreaking havoc in a graveyard shortly before cutting to the funeral for Lydia’s mother. Some plot details have changed, however, such as how Barbara and Adam die in the story’s beginning. A car driving off a bridge, like in the movie, here turns into the couple falling through the floor in their house. With the dialogue, Brown and King have upped the ante on the humor. The script is replete with explosive jokes and lyrics that tip-toe between knee-slapping and just plain wrong ("There are misogynistic guys here/Someday you're gonna die here/It's basically Dubai here"). Musically, Eddie Perfect lives up to his surname with his lively rock/swing hybrid score that enhances the brash dark humor throughout the story. The score hits the ground running with the uptempo opening number "The Whole Being Dead Thing.” Other highlights throughout the show include "That Beautiful Sound," "Creepy Old Guy," and "Everything Is Meh." The latter number features another delightful addition to the story: the fictional boy band Boy Inferno, which greets people upon entering the netherworld. Furthermore, fans of the movie will be relieved to know that the two Harry Belafonte songs used in the movie's iconic dinner scene and finale scene are recycled for the stage version. [caption id="attachment_369139" align="aligncenter" width="620"] Beetlejuice musical review, beetlejucie musical

Eddie Perfect, the composer, and lyricist for “Beetlejuice.”[/caption] The show is already a hit among audiences, with many patrons arriving on opening night in full gothic makeup, dyed hair, and costumes. Ticket-wise, some performances are already down to single tickets in certain sections. Overall, I hope the show is not altered too much when it transfers to New York in the spring. There are already several strong aspects, and I hope that all the aforementioned musical numbers stay intact. As the DC production is currently the only incarnation of the musical, it is hard for me to imagine a better cast than the current one. I do hope though that Otho’s character is expanded. I know his Act II appearance is brief, but I feel that there is much comedic potential to explore with him. Regardless of how the final version manifests, "Beetlejuice" is already a hit of demonic proportions! WARNING: Contains strong language, suggestive content, and strobe light effects. Not recommended for children under 15. "Beetlejuice" plays at DC's National Theatre through November 18th. Get your tickets HERE [post_title] => 'Beetlejuice: The Musical' DC Review [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => beetlejuice-the-musical-dc-review [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-27 11:03:24 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-27 15:03:24 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369136 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [10] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 369115 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-27 10:45:27 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-27 14:45:27 [post_content] => You've heard the saying, don't judge a book by it's cover. Sometimes you can't tell what something is about just by the title. Well, almost anything because clearly "The Breakfast Club" isn't about people eating pancakes. In the theatre world, sometimes you can tell what a show is about by the title. Here's my guide for the different kinds of musicals that you can tell what it's about just by the title. [post_title] => A Basic Guide To Musical Theatre Titles [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => a-basic-guide-to-musical-theatre-titles [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-27 10:45:27 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-27 14:45:27 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369115 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [11] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 369032 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-10-25 09:50:04 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-25 13:50:04 [post_content] => Combat the stress of sifting through scripts with Theatre Nerds’ comprehensive collection of comedic monologues for actors. Whether you’re ready to own the audition room with a Shakespearean sonnet or embody a cranky, treasure-hunting pirate captain, we’ve got you covered.

Impress your casting director with these 17 comedic monologues for men:

1. “I would like to say something your honor…” - Leo Bloom from ‘The Producers’

Chronicling a goofy duo of ‘has been’ Broadway producers, this aptly titled musical is packed with satire and witty dialogue making it a shoo-in for a comedic monologue choice. Take on the role of Leo Bloom, a nerve-wracked accountant who partners up with the bold and scheming Max Bialystock. Monologue Length: 1:08 - 1:20 “I would like to say something your honor, not on my behalf, but in reference to my partner, Mr. Bialystock....your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Max Bialystock is the most selfish man I ever met in my life...Not only is he liar, and a cheat and a scoundrel, and a crook, who has taken money from little old ladies, he has also talked people into doing things, especially me, that they would never in a thousand years had dreamed of doing. But, your honor, as I understand it the law was created to protect people from being wronged. Your honor, whom has Max Bialystock wronged? I mean, whom has he really hurt? Not me. Not me. I was.... this man.... no one ever called me Leo before. I mean, I know it's not a big legal point, but even in kindergarten they used to call me Bloom. I never sang a song before. I mean with someone else, I never sang a song with someone else before. This man.... this man... this is a wonderful man. He made me what I am today...he did. And what of the dear ladies? What would their lives have been without Max Bialystock? Max Bialystock, who made them feel young, and attractive, and wanted again. That's all I have to say.”

2. “Perhaps you think…” - Black Stache from ‘Peter And The Starcatchers’

Do you have a knack for the dark side? Set sail with this fantastical monologue from the Tony Award-winning play, “Peter And The Starcatchers.” Show the audition room that it’s not easy being a villainous pirate - as seen by this lament from the ominous (and slightly silly) Captain Black Stache. Monologue Length: 45 seconds - 1 minute “Perchance you think a treasure trunk sans treasure has put my piratical BVDs in a twist? How wrong you are. Yes, I’d hoped to be hip-deep in diamonds, but they’re a poor substitute for what I really crave: a bona fide hero to help me feel whole. For without a hero, what am I? Half a villain; a pirate in part; ruthless, but toothless. And then I saw you, and I thought, “Maybe? Can it be? Is he the one I’ve waited for? Would he, for example, give up something precious for the sake of the daughter he loves?” But alas, he gives up sand. Now, let’s see: hero with treasure, very good. Hero with no treasure…. doable. No hero and a trunk full o’ sand? Not s’much. NOW, WHERE’S MY TREASURE?!?” (Credit: Elice, Rick. Peter and the Starcatcher Disney Editions, 2014.)

3. “Eliza, you are to stay here…” - Henry Higgins from “My Fair Lady”

This monologue from Professor Henry Higgins sums up ‘My Fair Lady’ in a nutshell. As a stiff and stern educator, Higgins is out to make a lady of the wild and carefree Eliza Dolittle. He states his rules for their lessons in this memorable scene. Monologue Length: 1:07 - 1:20 “Hmmm. Eliza, you are to stay here for the next six months learning how to speak beautifully, like a lady in a florist shop. If you're good and do whatever you are told, you shall sleep in a proper bedroom, have lots to eat, and money to buy chocolates and take rides in taxis. But if you are naughty and idle you shall sleep in the back kitchen amongst the black beetles, and be walloped by Mrs. Pearce with a broomstick. At the end of six months you shall be taken to Buckingham Palace in a carriage, beautifully dressed. If the King finds out that you are not a lady, the police will take you to the Tower of London, where your head will be cut off as a warning to other presumptuous flower girls (Eliza looks up at him terrified) But if you are not found out, you shall have a present of seven-and-six to start life with as a lady in a shop. If you refuse this offer you will be a most ungrateful wicked girl, and the angels will weep for you. (Seeing by Eliza's reaction that she has understood every word he turns to Pickering, his former tone instantly changed to one of good humor) Now are you satisfied, Pickering?”

4. “Juicy as a pomegranate.” - Beverly Carlton from “The Man Who Came To Dinner”

If it’s a bit of dramatic flair you’re looking for, this might be your cup of tea. Enter Beverly Carlton: a playwright and performer with a talent for impressions. In this minute-long monologue, he reenacts an overly theatrical conversation. Monologue Length: 55 seconds - 1:10 “Juicy as a pomegranate. It is the latest report from London on the winter maneuvers of Miss Lorraine Sheldon against the left flank -- in fact, all flanks -- of Lord Cedric Bottomley. Listen: “Lorraine has just left us in a cloud of Chanel Number Five. Since September, in her relentless pursuit of His Lordship, she has paused only to change girdles and check her oil. She has chased him, panting, from castle to castle, till he finally took refuge, for several weekends, in the gentleman’s lavatory of the House of Lords. Practically no one is betting on the Derby this year; we are all making book on Lorraine. She is sailing tomorrow on the Normandie, but would return on the Yankee Clipper if Bottomley so much as belches in her direction.” Have you ever met Lord Bottomley, Maggie dear? “Not v-v-very good shooting today, blast it. Only s-s-six partridges, f-f-four grouse, and the D-D-Duke of Sutherland.”

5. “I think lunchtime is about the worst time of day for me.” - Charlie Brown from ‘You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown’

Poor Charlie Brown! Nothing can ever seem to go right. In this scene, a melancholy Charlie discusses why lunchtime is his least favorite part of the day. Nail your audition with an excerpt from this Peanuts-inspired script. Monologue Length: 2:12 - 2:30 “I think lunchtime is about the worst time of day for me. Always having to sit here alone. Of course, sometimes, mornings aren't so pleasant either. Waking up and wondering if anyone would really miss me if I never got out of bed. Then there's the night, too. Lying there and thinking about all the stupid things I've done during the day. And all those hours in between when I do all those stupid things. Well, lunchtime is among the worst times of the day for me. Well, I guess I'd better see what I've got. Peanut butter. Some psychiatrists say that people who eat peanut butter sandwiches are lonely...I guess they're right. And when you're really lonely, the peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth. There's that cute little red-headed girl eating her lunch over there. I wonder what she would do if I went over and asked her if I could sit and have lunch with her?...She'd probably laugh right in my face...it's hard on a face when it gets laughed in. There's an empty place next to her on the bench. There's no reason why I couldn't just go over and sit there. I could do that right now. All I have to do is stand up...I'm standing up!...I'm sitting down. I'm a coward. I'm so much of a coward, she wouldn't even think of looking at me. She hardly ever does look at me. In fact, I can't remember her ever looking at me. Why shouldn't she look at me? Is there any reason in the world why she shouldn't look at me? Is she so great, and I'm so small, that she can't spare one little moment?...SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!! SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!! (he puts his lunchbag over his head.) ...Lunchtime is among the worst times of the day for me. If that little red-headed girl is looking at me with this stupid bag over my head she must think I'm the biggest fool alive. But, if she isn't looking at me, then maybe I could take it off quickly and she'd never notice it. On the other hand...I can't tell if she's looking, until I take it off! Then again, if I never take it off I'll never have to know if she was looking or not. On the other hand...it's very hard to breathe in here. (he removes his sack) Whew! She's not looking at me! I wonder why she never looks at me? Oh well, another lunch hour over with...only 2,863 to go.”

6.“Don’t let her bedevil you, gentlemen.” - Finian McLonergan from ‘Finian’s Rainbow’

If you’re opting for a traditional monologue, this snippet from ‘Finian’s Rainbow’ will do the trick. Walk into your audition as Finian himself using this outrageous speech which takes place after the titular character’s daughter is accused of witchcraft. Monologue Length: 45 seconds - 1 minute “Don’t let her bedevil you, gentlemen. A witch she is and a witch she’s always been. Who would know better than me, her unhappy father, who found her on me doorstep, left by a fairy in the moonlight. At the age of two, she could talk with the skylarks, and decode the chirping of the crickets. At the age of four, she could blow a rainbow out of a bubble pipe, and then wear her pants out sliding down it. Then, during her adolescence, she took a tragic turn. She began to change whiskey into milk. It was a crisis, a crisis. From then on, one change led to another, and now you are all witnesses to the unhappy climax - she’s changed a white man into a black. (silencing gesture) Quiet, Woody, I’m doing the right thing. Just a minute, gentlemen. Sharon can also change a black man into a white.”

7. “Well either you are closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge…” - Harold Hill from ‘The Music Man’

There may be seventy-six auditionees vying for a role, but only one will be cast! Impress casting directors by embodying the infamous Harold Hill, a traveling salesman who poses as a band director in a small Iowa town. Monologue Length: 1:25 - 1:40 “Well either you are closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge, or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of a pool table in your community. Well, you got trouble my friend. Right here, I say, trouble right here in River City. Why sure I'm a billiard player, certainly mighty proud to say, I'm always mighty proud to say it. I consider that the hours I spend with a cue in my hand are golden. Help ya cultivate horse sense, and cool head and a keen eye. Did you ever take and try to give an ironclad leave to yourself from a three rail billiard shot? But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and maturity to score in a balk line game, I say that any boob, can take and shove a ball in a pocket. And I call that sloth, the first big step on the road to the depths of degreda- I say first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon, then beer from a bottle. And the next thing you know your son is playing for money in a pinch back suit and listening to some big out of town jasper here to talk about horse race gamblin'. Not a wholesome trottin race, no, but a race where they sit down right on the horse! Like to see some stuck up jockey boy sitting on Dan-Patch? Make your blood boil? Well, I should say. Now friends, let me tell you what I mean. Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table. Pockets that mark the difference between a gentleman and a bum with a capital B and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool.”

8. “O, she misused me past the endurance of a block!” - Benedick from ‘Much Ado About Nothing’

Shakespearean dialogue has long been a popular monologue choice - and with good reason! These words, spoken by the role of Benedick, is a great choice if you’re looking to find a monologue that showcases old English and can be performed in approximately one minute. Monologue Length: 1:05 - 1:15 “O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! An oak but with one green leaf on it would have answered her; my very visor began to assume life and scold with her. She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the Prince's jester, that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs. If her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her; she would infect the North Star. I would not marry her though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed. She would have made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her. You shall find her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some scholar would conjure her, for certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon purpose, because they would go thither; so indeed all disquiet, horror, and perturbation follows her.”

9. “And I, forsooth, in love!” - Berowne from ‘Love’s Labour’s Lost’

This particular Shakespearean declaration of love is a tad dramatic (and can be a fun monologue when auditioning for a comedic role!) Berowne, a former cynic when it comes to romance, unexpectedly falls for a beautiful girl; this new revelation sparks the words below... Monologue Length: 1:20 - 1:45 “And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love's whip, A very beadle to a humorous sigh, A critic, nay, a night-watch constable, A domineering pedant o'er the boy, Than whom no mortal so magnificent. This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy, This signor-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid, Regent of love-rimes, lord of folded arms, The anointed sovereign of sighs and groans, Liege of all loiterers and malcontents, Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces, Sole imperator and great general Of trotting paritors -- O my little heart! And I to be a corporal of his field, And wear his colors like a tumbler's hoop! What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife! A woman that is like a German clock, Still a-repairing, ever out of frame, And never going aright, being a watch, But being watched that it may still go right! Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all; And, among three, to love the worst of all; A whitely wanton with a velvet brow, With two pitch balls stuck in her face for eyes. Ay, and, by heaven, one that will do the deed, Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard. And I to sigh for her, to watch for her, To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague That Cupid will impose for my neglect Of his almighty dreadful little might. Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue, groan: Some men must love my lady, and some Joan.”

10. “Well, kiddies, that’s what happened to Tommy today.” - Jeff Douglas from ‘Brigadoon’

Pack your bags and take a trip to Brigadoon with this monologue. Lerner and Lowe’s beloved show follows two friends who stumble upon a mystic town that appears once every 100 years (ooh! aah!) Monologue Length: 1:30 - 1:45 “Well, kiddies, that's what happened to Tommy today. But, what about his friend Jeff? Well, he had fun too. Tonight he went running off through the woods after some highland hot-head who was gonna make all the people disappear by crossing the wrong street. Well after a while, Jeff thought he saw a bird perched low in a tree, and he shot at it. Something fell to the ground. He rushed over to it, and whaddya think it was? It was hot-head Harry. Yessir, the boy Dermish himself, lying there looking all dead....Now to kill somebody somewhere else in the world would've been an awful thing, but you see, Harry was a citizen of the little town that wasn't there, and he probably never lived in the first place. Chances are there weren't even any woods. In fact the whole day probably never even happened, because you see, this is a fairy tale...(angry) Dream stuff, boy, all made up outta broomsticks and wishing wells! It's either that or a boot camp for lunatics, I don't know what goes on around here. All I know is that whatever it is, it's got nothing to do with me and nothing to do with you! And anything that happens to either of us just doesn't count! How can it when you don't understand it? And you wanna give up your family, your friends, your whole life for this? It's not even worth arguing about. Now go say goodbye to the little people and thank them for the picnic!...You're confused aren't ya boy? You know, if you believed as much as you think you do, you wouldn't be.”

11. “Okay. Now here it comes.” - Man In Chair from ‘The Drowsy Chaperone’

Over the years, the nameless Man In Chair has been played by many well-known actors. Now it’s your time to shine with this iconic monologue from “The Drowsy Chaperone.” Monologue Length: 1:18 - 1:30 “Okay. Now here it comes. The moment I was talking about [...] a moment that has fascinated me more than any other and that has brought me back to this record again and again. Here it comes. (Pause). You can’t quite make out what she says because someone drops a cane. Is she saying “live while you can,” or “leave while you can”? And that’s exactly what you think when you’re standing at the altar, isn’t it, “Live” or “Leave” and you have to live. [... ... ...] So, one day [...] you say “I love you” and you basically phrase it as a question, but they accept it as fact and then suddenly there she is standing in front of you in a three thousand dollar dress with tears in her eyes, and her nephew made the huppah, so what do you do? [...] You choose to live. And for a couple of months you stare at the alien form in the bed beside you and you think to yourself “Who are you? Who are you?” And one day you say it out loud…then it’s a trial separation and couples counseling and all your conversations are about her eating disorder and your Zoloft addiction, [...] and the whole “relationship” ends on a particularly ugly note with your only copy of Gypsy spinning through the air and smashing against the living room wall. But still, in the larger sense, in a broader sense, it’s better to have lived than left, right?”

12.“I'm sorry to have to say it to your face, Lucy, but it's true.” - Schroeder from ‘You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown’

If this were a ‘Friends’ episode, this monologue would be called ‘the one where Schroeder calls out Lucy for being crabby. This humorous confrontation is a light-hearted pick especially if you’re auditioning for the role of a young character. Monologue Length: 40 seconds - 1 minute “I'm sorry to have to say it to your face, Lucy, but it's true. You're a very crabby person. I know your crabbiness has probably become so natural to you now that you're not even aware when you're being crabby, but it's true just the same. You're a very crabby person and you're crabby to just about everyone you meet. Now I hope you don't mind my saying this, Lucy, and I hope you're take it in the spirit that it's meant. I think we should be very open to any opportunity to learn more about ourselves. I think Socrates was very right when he said that one of the first rules for anyone in life is 'Know Thyself'. Well, I guess I've said about enough. I hope I haven't offended you or anything.”

13. “It pains me very much to have to speak frankly to you, Lady Bracknell…” - Jack from ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’

This classic work by Oscar Wilde is best known for its cleverness and wit. While much of the text comes across as prim and proper, the play is a farce commenting on social hierarchies and traditions of the upper class. Monologue Length: 1:05 - 1:15 “It pains me very much to have to speak frankly to you, Lady Bracknell, about your nephew, but the fact is that I do not approve at all of his moral character. I suspect him of being untruthful. I fear there can be no possible doubt about the matter. This afternoon during my temporary absence in London on an important question of romance, he obtained admission to my house by means of the false pretence of being my brother. Under an assumed name he drank, I’ve just been informed by my butler, an entire pint bottle of my Perrier-Jouet, Brut, ’89; wine I was specially reserving for myself. Continuing his disgraceful deception, he succeeded in the course of the afternoon in alienating the affections of my only ward. He subsequently stayed to tea, and devoured every single muffin. And what makes his conduct all the more heartless is, that he was perfectly well aware from the first that I have no brother, that I never had a brother, and that I don’t intend to have a brother, not even of any kind. I distinctly told him so myself yesterday afternoon.”

14. “Medium” Monologue by Joseph Arnone

In this contemporary piece, Derek might have a bit of a “Napoleon complex." Put your unique spin on his character with this unique monologue (available on monologueblogger.com) if you’re looking for something new and modern. Monologue Length: 1:30 - 1:45 DEREK: “I’m a medium. Why do you keep asking me if I’m a small? Do I look like a hobbit to you? I have wide shoulders. (standing up from his seat) Look. Look at me. See how my shoulders are wide and then as you go down it starts to V, that’s because I have wide shoulders, alright? (beat) I know the last shirt you got me was a small and still looked big on me. That’s because it was made that way. That’s the design of how that company makes that style shirt. There are other companies I can get in a large, like that coat you made fun of me in, that was the style, a little baggy…well, actually, yeah, you’re right about the coat. It was too big. Why did I buy a coat so big?? (beat) Honey, do I suffer from a slight case of Napoleon disease? Not like a big case but like a small case…you think? Well, my height is 5’11 so I’m no Napoleon. What? I am 5’11! I’m not 5’9. Listen, when we measured last time it was in an old house with crooked flooring, alright? Your mother’s floor is still the original from 1910. It’s all lopsided. Everyone’s height fluctuates in that house depending on where they’re standing. Your Uncle Tobey, who’s 2’2 was staring down at me in the kitchen and then in the living room he was at my knees. Come on, that’s not fair. I’m no smaller than 5’10, that I’m one hundred percent sure about. On my life, I swear on my life about that and that’s still a good height for a guy so I’m not complaining. I’ll give you the inch. But please, most shirts fit me as a medium, so order me a medium.”

15. “God, Gloria, how I always loved this!” - Leo from ‘At Long Last Leo’

This play touches on human nature, family dynamics and the promise of a better life. Leo is addicted to thinking, hoping and changing which can be seen in this excerpt from ‘At Long Last Leo.’ Monologue Length: 1:05 - 1:15 “God, Gloria, how I always loved this! (sits on the ground) Being out back at night, looking up at the sky. It always made me think about what an extraordinary tourist attraction the world is. About all the famous people who've lived here, and all the incredible events that have happened right here on this planet. Sometimes, you know what I think about? I think about all the incredible events that have happened that history never knew about. I mean it is unbelievable some of the things that must have happened that, for one reason or another, we don't know about. Sometimes, I think about all the amazing coincidences that have happened that you hear about. And then I think about all the amazing coincidences that almost happened, but didn't...because one guy went down the canned food aisle just as the other one went down the baking goods aisle. I can feel this planet, Gloria. I swear I can actually feel this planet hurtling through space. Fast. Much faster than we realize. (then) Know what else I think about that's weird? What if it turns out I really am the next Moses? Can you imagine? What if I really am?”

16. “You know why men are constantly fighting instead of working together to survive?” - Barry from ‘Dreams In Captivity’

It’s a man’s world in this short monologue from Gabriel Davis’ ‘Dreams In Captivity.’ Find your distinct inspiration for Barry, a Lazy Boy salesman who has a thing or two to say. Monologue Length: 40 seconds - 1 minute “You know why men are constantly fighting instead of working together to survive? Simple. Man is mainly motivated to sit on his ass. Our greatest inventors are busy right now finding more ways for us to sit on our ass better. And when they make it, men will kill to sit on it. Wars will happen because every man wants the best Lazy Boy Recliner in the galaxy. AND I SELL IT. I sell a deluxe Lazy Boy outfitted with massagers, heating pads, a cooling unit for drinks – it’s the closest experience of comfort a man can get on earth short of climbing back through his mother’s hoo-ha into the womb. If it's a choice between that and helping you colonize space? No contest.”

17. “If music be the food of love, play on.” - Orsino from ‘Twelfth Night’

All the world’s a stage and, therefore, we must end our collection with another monologue by Shakespeare. Orsino, a powerful nobleman, is the definition of lovesick. Command the audition room with this hilarious declaration of love. Monologue Length: 40 seconds - 1 minute “If music be the food of love, play on; Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die. That strain again! it had a dying fall: O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound, That breathes upon a bank of violets, Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more: 'Tis not so sweet now as it was before. O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou, That, notwithstanding thy capacity Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there, Of what validity and pitch soe'er, But falls into abatement and low price, Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy That it alone is high fantastical.”

Have a great comedic monologue to share with other actors? Comment below…

[post_title] => 17 Comedic Monologues For Men [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 17-comedic-monologues-for-men [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-25 09:50:37 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-25 13:50:37 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369032 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [12] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 369009 [post_author] => 440 [post_date] => 2018-10-23 09:59:24 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-23 13:59:24 [post_content] => It’s hard to believe it’s been fifteen years since “Wicked” flew onto Broadway. The musical took audiences by storm when it first premiered in 2003, bringing a new side to the age-old story of Oz and the Wicked Witch of the West. To commemorate the Broadway smash hit, NBC announced a well-timed Halloween special “A Very Wicked Halloween: Celebrating 15 years on Broadway” that will air on Monday, October 29th.

Here’s what Wicked fans can expect for the musical special:

Beloved Songs

The one-hour television special is set to be a celebration of song, with acts performing the beloved tunes from the hit Broadway show. A full list of included songs has yet to be released, but that hasn’t stopped fans from speculating and hoping that their favorites will be on deck that evening. Fan footage shot of Ariana Grande at the recent taping confirms her as the performer of the powerhouse number “The Wizard and I.”

Reprising the Roles

You can’t say “Wicked” without thinking of the ladies who made Elphaba and Galinda household names in the Broadway world. Acclaimed Broadway legends Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth will reunite for the night and treat audiences to a reprise of the friendship we’ve all been missing.

Past and Present

Chenoweth and Menzel won’t be the only leading ladies onstage for the evening. Glindas and Elphabas from previous shows will join in the celebration, taking the stage with the OGs. Fans can even score a sneak peek of the current production, as Broadway’s Glinda, Amanda Jane Cooper, and Elphaba, Jessica Vosk, will be amongst the group. Other members of the current Broadway company will make appearances through the evening as well.

From Fans to Featured Performers

Wicked has garnered fans of all ages over the years, including those with famous names and faces. Never shy about expressing her love for the show, Ariana Grande is confirmed to perform and fan footage of her performance created buzz when it recently made the rounds online. And Grande isn’t the only big name to pay homage to the show. Popular acapella group Pentatonix is set to perform, as well as “Wicked” alumni Adam Lambert, and multi-talented actress/singer Ledisi. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnNlevqBScU

Behind the Scenes

There would be nothing to celebrate without composer and lyricist Stephen Schwartz, so naturally, he will grace the stage during the show. Filmed at the famous Marquis Theater in New York, the night is sure to be hit with Emmy and Tony-winning Producer Mark Platt at the helm, as well as additional members of the original Broadway team, Ricky Kirshner and Glenn Weiss. So grab all of your favorite witches, light a few jack-o-lanterns, and celebrate a return to the land of ruby slippers, the yellow brick road, and magical possibility. There’s no place like home. Channel: NBC Time: 10/9c

Lets get started:

What you will need: -Mason Jar -Tiny Hat (Found at Joann's Fabrics in the doll section) -Tan Yarn -Scissors -Sticky Black Felt -Tape To begin we will start by making our hair! Lay out a strip of tape 12" long sticky side up. Using smaller strips of tape, hold down the strip so it doesn't move. With your yarn, begin to loop the yarn back and forth about 6 inches long. Place the yarn as low as you can on the tape to help make a smaller band later on. Keep the yarn as tight as you can to each other for a fuller look. Once you have reached the end, take your scissors, and cut the loops, not attached to the tape to make them singular strands. After they have all been cut, fold your tape over onto itself to sandwich the yarn. Cut off the excess tape for a thinner strip. Since we need to wrap the mason jar completely, repeat these steps until you have 10 strips of hair! Now that you have your hair, we can begin to attach them to the jar! Starting from the bottom, place the first strip of hair around the jar into the desired placement. Once it has been positioned, tape each end together and secure onto the jar. Continue to repeat this pattern all the way up to the top of the jar. Once you have reached the neck of the mason jar, take your extra yarn and wrap it around to cover it up completely. Now it's time to make Cousin It's sunglasses! Using your sticky backed felt, flip it over so the backing is facing up. Draw out a pair of sunglasses and cut them out. Remove the backing and place onto the yarn/mason jar where his eyes should be. Lastly, once everything has been put together, place your favorite candies and treats inside of the jar. You are now ready to add his final element, his hat to seal the deal! Now you not only have a fun new jar, but a great halloween decoration to add to your collection! We hope you had fun doing this DIY with us! Please like, comment and share if you participated by making this Addam's Family DIY! Have a fun and safe Halloween & happy crafting! Follow Katie on Instagram @kbettiniart [post_title] => Addams Family Candy Jar DIY [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => addams-family-candy-jar-diy [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-27 11:22:00 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-27 15:22:00 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=369006 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [15] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368873 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-10-19 09:16:51 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-19 13:16:51 [post_content] => [viralQuiz id=88]

Here’s why Justin Peck is a name you’ll want to know:

1. Twice as Nice

After taking up ballet in his early teens, Peck eventually moved to New York to pursue dance further. Continuing his training for several years, he was invited to join the New York City Ballet at 18. Fast-forward, and he’s not only a soloist with the company, but also the resident choreographer, a position he has held since 2014. Peck is the youngest choreographer ever to hold New York City Ballet’s prestigious title.

2. Triple Award Winner in 2018

Peck’s choreography quickly became the star of the Broadway revival of “Carousel.” His effort was rewarded when he walked out of awards season with a Tony Award, Drama Desk Award, and Outer Critics Circle Award for Best Choreography. Not a bad review for your first choreographing gig on Broadway!

3. Fascinating Subject

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2f-AvMve1NU With his name buzzing in the ballet world, Peck’s process was put on display in 2014 when he was the subject of the documentary “Ballet 422.” The film follows Peck from beginning to end as he creates an original ballet. His passion and genius are as memorable as his finished work.

4. More Than Just Ballet

In addition to his musical foray with “Carousel,” Peck has worked with fashion designers, musicians and even Hollywood. Peck was tapped to choreograph and consult on the ballet scenes in the recent film “Red Sparrow,” starring Jennifer Lawrence.

5. Known for Taking Risks

Ballet is a classical form of which Peck is clearly a fan, beginning his career as a ballet dancer. But it’s hard to ignore his equal love of modern music and concepts, mixing old with new. Challenging the norms has become a regular part of Peck’s repertoire. This includes mixing dance styles — originally a tap dancer before taking on ballet in his early teens, Peck is known for combining the two styles to create beautifully intricate footwork and combinations.

6. Social Media Presence

Peck’s intention to make ballet more accessible shows in his created dance videos and regular social media presence. His account is a behind-the-scenes delve into the life of a dancer and creative as he often posts his works in progress on his Instagram account. With his recent slew of awards over this past year, Peck is now one of the most sought-after choreographers, and the world is waiting to see what project he tackles next. [post_title] => 6 Reasons Why Justin Peck Is One To Watch [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 6-reasons-justin-peck-watch [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-16 22:17:05 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-17 02:17:05 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368893 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [21] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368670 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-11 10:00:20 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-11 14:00:20 [post_content] => When I was in elementary school, I looked and acted like a normal kid. I went to school, read books, played with toys, and did the usual stuff kids do. But even though I looked normal, there were some things that I couldn't do. I had issues with zipping up my coat, trying my shoes, holding a pencil, learning how to swim, and learning how to ride a bike. When you say go left, I went right. When you say turn counterclockwise, I stand completely confused. This even affects the way that I move: Arm movements that are supposed to be long and graceful are short and choppy. That's because I have a developmental coordination disorder called dyspraxia. What is Dyspraxia? The Dyspraxia Foundation defines that "Dyspraxia, a form of developmental coordination disorder (DCD) is a common disorder affecting fine and/or gross motor coordination in children and adults. It may also affect speech. DCD is a lifelong condition, formally recognized by international organizations including the World Health Organisation...Individuals may vary in how their difficulties present: these may change over time depending on environmental demands and life experiences". Like mental health, everything is on a spectrum. It's not that some people have it and some people don't. For example, my dyspraxia makes it very hard to learn dance routines in a short amount of time whereas another actor can pick it up quickly. I feel so out of control and uncomfortable in my own body most times if I can’t do what is asked of me. But because I'm dyspraxic, that doesn't make me a bad actress or a bad dancer. That just means it takes a little more time for me to pick up that skill.

During my first musical, I struggled with learning the dances. I felt so ashamed of myself because I felt like I let the rest of the cast down because I was bumping into other people, turning the wrong way, falling off of a set piece, staring at my feet instead of the invisible audience members. Frequently, I had to leave the stage during rehearsal because I was having an anxiety attack. I thought that I wasn't good enough to be a dancer because of my disability. I thought that I was too dumb to be an actress because I couldn't pick up on a dance routine as fast as my other cast mates. Luckily, I was very fortunate to have a director who was willing to help me in any way possible. So, he paired me up with one of the kindest and supportive dance partners. If the dance rehearsal got too stressful and I was going to have an anxiety attack, I was excused. Opening night of that show I felt sick to my stomach because of how anxious I was about dancing. I still thought that the audience would see me as an awkward teenager instead of the person I was portraying onstage. To my surprise, I was not the person I saw in the mirror. I was a graceful and sophisticated person. I learned how to dance.

Each show I am apart of there is always a new challenge to face. I might move a bit differently or learn a show a bit differently than my fellow cast members, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad actor. My high school theatre teacher once said: "If you rearrange the letters in 'Theatre' it spells problem-solving." Dance is one of the biggest problems I have when learning a show. I may never be the best dancer onstage, but that doesn't keep me from trying my best. During breaks, that has been a time to work with my dance partner or the dance captain to review the dances. I may have to watch a step by step video on the dance routine or have to write the steps in my script.

My dyspraxia does make things involving gross motor skills very challenging. I have had moments when I've felt defeated and wanted to give up. If I didn't have a learning disability, I wouldn't be the hardworking and dedicated thespian I am today.

To my fellow actors out there who deal with disabilities, no matter how big or small the challenge that you face is, you are here onstage for a reason. What may be seen as a weakness can become your strength. You will go through many adversities, but in the end, you will come out okay. Trust me. To quote Tony Winner Ben Platt “Don’t waste any time trying to be anyone but yourself. The things that make you strange make you powerful”. [post_title] => I'm An Actress, And I Have A Learning Disability [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => im-an-actress-and-i-have-a-learning-disability [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-11 10:00:20 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-11 14:00:20 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368670 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [22] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368731 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-10 13:53:59 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-10 17:53:59 [post_content] => Don't forget the altos! Altos can be such a powerhouse in musical theatre. Altos and Mezzo Belters get some of the best songs. Here are 10 songs for altos you may not have considered. [post_title] => 10 Audition Songs For Altos That You May Not Have Considered [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 10-audition-songs-for-altos-that-you-may-not-have-considered [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-10 13:53:59 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-10 17:53:59 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368731 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [23] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368663 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-09 00:08:26 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-09 04:08:26 [post_content] => We've all been to or heard of those auditions where 50 kids show up and sing the same three songs over and over again. Even though there aren't too many songs for a child's range, these are 10 suggestions for kids. When I say kids, I mean 6 to 13-year-olds. So, up to the end of middle school. If your voice has already started to develop or you're in high school go check out my other lists. [post_title] => 10 Musical Audition Songs For Kids And Tweens [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 10-musical-audition-songs-for-kids-and-tweens [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-09 00:08:26 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-09 04:08:26 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368663 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [24] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368609 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-07 12:10:09 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-07 16:10:09 [post_content] => Sopranos. The Classic ingenue or damsel in distress. Quite frequently sopranos are put into the box of being the princess. Even though most modern musical theatre songs are written for Mezzo-belters, there are still some good audition songs out there for sopranos. [post_title] => 10 Soprano Audition Songs That Are NOT Princess Songs [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 10-soprano-audition-songs-that-are-not-princess-songs [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-24 11:45:50 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-24 15:45:50 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368609 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [25] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368549 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-06 01:28:36 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-06 05:28:36 [post_content] => Tenors always get to play the love interest or the suave hero that saves the day. Over the last few years, tenors have gotten some of the best solos like "Waving through a Window." Many times the Baritone or Bass in the musical is the villain, dad, or just there for comedic relief. Guys and Dolls is a classic show with a slew of manly-man characters. "Luck be a Lady" is such an iconic song. Another iconic song is "If I loved you" from Carousel. A quintessential romantic but not really a romantic ballad. Try something different in your next audition with one of these songs. [post_title] => 10 Baritone/Bass Audition Songs That Are NOT " Luck Be A Lady" Or "If I Loved You" [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 10-baritone-bass-audition-songs-that-are-not-luck-be-a-lady-or-if-i-loved-you [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-06 01:28:36 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-06 05:28:36 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368549 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [26] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368485 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-05 20:25:01 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-06 00:25:01 [post_content] => Rule of thumb, if you are auditioning for a Sondheim musical sing a Sondheim song. If you are not auditioning for something that was written by Sondheim, do not sing a Sondheim song. With this being said, a very popular song for young tenors to sing in an audition is "Giants in the Sky". Just because it's popular doesn't make it a bad song. Here are 10 songs for Tenors. [post_title] => 10 Tenor Audition Songs That Are NOT 'Giants In The Sky' [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 10-tenor-audition-songs-that-are-not-giants-in-the-sky [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-09 00:07:17 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-09 04:07:17 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368485 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [27] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368190 [post_author] => 2027 [post_date] => 2018-10-05 12:49:48 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-05 16:49:48 [post_content] => We'll tell you which Fun Home character you really are. [post_title] => Quiz: Which "Fun Home" Character Are You? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => closed [post_password] => [post_name] => quiz-which-fun-home-character-are-you [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-05 12:52:22 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-05 16:52:22 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=snax_quiz&p=368190 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => snax_quiz [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [28] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368454 [post_author] => 440 [post_date] => 2018-10-05 10:49:03 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-05 14:49:03 [post_content] => Those looking for a family-friendly trip to the theatre in NYC need look no further than the New Amsterdam Theatre on 42nd street. Owned and operated by Disney, who funded the expensive renovation of the property in the 90s, the theatre has been the home of heavy hitter Broadway adaptations of the company’s popular films, including “Lion King,” “Mary Poppins,” and “Aladdin.” But turn the clock back about a hundred years, and the New Amsterdam hosted a different kind of glitz and glamour. The kind brought to life by the imagination of the incomparable Florenz Ziegfeld Jr. His impact on the beginnings of Broadway in the early 20th century is infamous, having worked with the likes of Irving Berlin and George Gershwin.

But it is the women of the “Ziegfeld Follies” whose stories and achievements are often ignored in favor of those about the man who employed them.

Louise Brooks

Young Louise Brooks began her career as a dancer, joining the Denishawn company in the early 1920s. She eventually joined Ziegfeld’s prominent “Ziegfeld Follies” as a dancer in 1925. Her appearance in the Follies was what got the attention of Hollywood after she was offered a movie studio contract, launching her career as a film star. Known for being rebellious, Brooks believed in taking risks as a film actress and didn’t shy away from controversial roles, including those involving nudity and modern ideas around sexuality. Brooks moved to Europe at the end of the 1920s after being refused a pay increase. When she spurned movie studios upon her return at the start of the 30s, the roles began to dry up. Brooks worked a variety of odd jobs after her movie career ended, including that of a courtesan. In her later years, she came back into the public eye as a film writer. A selection of her stories can be read in the memoir “Lulu in Hollywood.” She died from a heart attack at the age of 85.

Olive Thomas

Thanks to her untimely death and the rumor that her ghost regularly haunts the New Amsterdam Theatre, Olive Thomas is one of the most infamous women to come out of the “Ziegfeld Follies.” After fleeing small-town life for New York City, Olive Thomas had her first brush with fame when she won a competition and earned her the title of “The Most Beautiful Girl in New York City.” It wasn’t long after that Thomas earned herself a place onstage as one of Ziegfeld’s girls. She found great success performing in Ziegfeld’s racy after hours show on the rooftop of the New Amsterdam Theatre. Eventually, Thomas transitioned to acting in films. During this time, she also married Hollywood royalty in the form of Jack Pickford, brother of famous actress Mary Pickford. On a trip to Paris with her husband, an intoxicated Thomas died at the age of 25 after ingesting poison, the circumstances surrounding which remain unclear.

Kay Laurell

Scouted by Ziegfeld while modeling at an Illustrators’ Ball, Kay Laurel joined the Ziegfeld Follies in 1914. Laurel is best known for appearing nude from the waist up on stage in selective artistic tableaus. Laurel was celebrated for her femininity and revered on Broadway for her beauty. After her success in the Follies, Laurel tried her luck at being a silent film actress but eventually transitioned back to stage work. Like many women of her time, Laurel met her untimely demise during childbirth at the age of 36.

Helen Morgan

Helen Morgan, who was studying music in New York, first took the stage in Ziegfeld’s production of “Sally” in 1923, before joining the Follies in 1931. Morgan is most notable for having played Julie in the original cast of “Show Boat” in 1927. Her work as a film actress included two film productions of Show Boat, while also continuing with the stage work, including a Broadway production of “Sweet Adeline.” An avid drinker during Prohibition, Morgan ran into trouble with the law because of her involvement with nightclubs and speakeasies in New York. Her weakness for alcohol finally caught up with her, and at 41 she died from cirrhosis of the liver due to alcohol abuse.

Barbara Stanwyck

Orphaned and raised by her sister, Barbara Stanwyck took a series of odd jobs to make ends meet before becoming a Ziegfeld girl in 1922. Stanwyck worked as a chorus girl for several years before landing a role in the play “The Noose.” This led to her casting in 1927’s “Burlesque,” which launched her into a successful film career. Stanwyck enjoyed success as a film actress until the 1950s and opted to transition into work in television. Throughout the 1980s, Stanwyck received recognition for her achievements as an actress, including an Academy Award and a Golden Globe Award. She died of heart failure at the age of 82.

Fanny Brice

While not one of Ziegfeld’s dancing girls, actress, singer, and comedienne Fanny Brice was undoubtedly one of Ziegfeld’s stars. Working alongside Irving Berlin, Brice won over audiences night after night with her comedy and her singing. She became a consistent performer in Follies productions, and even after the Follies finished, Brice found success in radio and on Broadway. Her name was further immortalized by Barbara Streisand in both a stage production and film of “Funny Girl,” about Brice.

Marilyn Miller

Marilyn Miller joined the Follies in 1918 and worked successfully with Ziegfeld as a headliner in his productions, until a disagreement, which sent her to his competitor in 1924. They later reunited and Miller was once again cast in Ziegfeld’s productions, performing the music of George Gershwin. During her time as a Broadway actress, Miller worked alongside legends like Irving Berlin, Jerome Kern, and Fred Astaire. Miller dabbled in film, but found her greatest success as a stage actress, including hits “Sally” and “Rosalie.” She died at 37 from complications after nasal passage surgery. In “Til the Clouds Go By” a fictionalized film about Jerome Kern, Miller was played by the legendary Judy Garland. It’s also worth noting that Miller was at one point married to the famous Jack Pickford, who also wed Ziegfeld girl Olive Thomas.

Ruth Etting

Singer Ruth Etting joined Follies in 1927 and performed in several other Broadway shows, including those mounted by Ziegfeld. After dazzling Broadway audiences, Etting turned to Hollywood, but could only find work as a singer, not an actress. Offstage, Etting’s personal life had more drama than a soap opera thanks to her tumultuous marriage and divorce to gangster Moe Snyder. After finding love with pianist Myrl Alderman, also separated from his spouse, Etting’s ex-husband threatened to kill them both. Following an attempt on their lives, a messy set of trials and lawsuits ensued for Etting, Alderman, and Snyder. In 1955, Doris Day played Etting in “Love Me or Leave Me,” a film based on her Etting’s life and career.

While it is hard to ignore the objectification of women at the Follies and during that time in history in general, there are signs of early feminism that took place at the New Amsterdam Theatre. In an era when sexuality was taboo, the women of the Follies expressed and celebrated their sexuality instead of being shamed by it. Additionally, in a period when women weren’t meant to be working, these young women maintained some autonomy over their futures and earned an income for their stage talents instead of being forced to depend on a husband. And there is no question that the women who successfully took the stage in the “Ziegfeld Follies” didn’t train hard to learn the elaborate numbers. While it is naïve and idealistic to believe that these women were fully formed feminist warriors who did not husband hunt amongst their clientele, it is important to remember that even small steps towards progress are still steps in the right direction and should be evaluated in the context of the era in which they took place. In their own way, these women helped to lay the groundwork for those who came behind them, strengthening female presence both on and off stage.

Who are your favorite actresses of early 20th century Broadway? Let us know in the comments below...

[post_title] => Broadway’s Beauties: The Famous Women Of The Ziegfeld Follies [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => broadways-beauties-the-famous-women-of-the-ziegfeld-follies [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-05 10:50:49 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-05 14:50:49 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368454 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [29] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368451 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-04 23:57:24 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-05 03:57:24 [post_content] => The Christmas of 2017, The Greatest Showman hit theatres. Audiences flocked to the theatre to see the movie starring Hugh Jackman, Keala Settle, Zendaya, and Zac Efron to name a few. We all were captivated by the brilliant colors of cherry red and cotton candy pink. Youtube exploded which covers of the songs written by Tony Award winners Benj Pasek and Justin Paul. But The Greatest Showman isn't the first time a musical about the inventor of show business P.T Barnum was created. In my sophomore year of high school, my school had a production of the 1980 Cy Coleman musical Barnum.

Like The Greatest Showman, Barnum is a "semi" biographical musical about the life of P.T Barnum. The character of Barnum was originated by Jim Dale, who narrated all of the Harry Potter books and played Dr. Terminus in Pete's Dragon. Notable actors have stepped into the giant clown shoes such as Michael Crawford, the original Phantom of The Phantom of the Opera and Christopher Fitzgerald who has played Boq in Wicked and Ogie in Waitress.

Barnum is filled with circus tricks as the story of P.T Barnum's life is told on stage with clowns, acrobats, and jugglers. The ensemble of this musical not only are circus performers but circus performers telling the story. Hmm... kinda sounds a bit like Pippin. You won't feel like you're watching a normal musical as a marching band and a gaggle of clowns is going straight through the theatre. In both tellings of Barnum's life, we meet some of the oddities that made Barnum's career so successful. Characters include Joice Heth, the oldest woman in the world and nurse to George Washington, Jumbo the Elephant, Tom Thumb aka Charles Stratton, and the Swedish Nightingale herself Jenny Lind. (And yes, Jenny Lind was a legit Swede. I have no clue why in The Greatest Showman she is English).

Barnum is a very uncommon musical to be done, but it is a real treat to watch or just to listen to the soundtrack. If you do want to watch it, there is a recording with Michael Crawford available on Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6HC-p7wYnw [post_title] => Before There Was The Greatest Showman... [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => before-there-was-the-greatest-showman [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-04 23:57:24 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-05 03:57:24 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368451 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [30] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368436 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-04 19:53:11 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-04 23:53:11 [post_content] => Welcome to the Renaissance! Within the last 20 years plenty of new shows have reached the great white way. Here are some of the BEST musicals of the 21st Century. So far... [post_title] => Best Musicals Of The 21st Century [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => best-musicals-of-the-21st-century [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-08 10:18:14 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-08 14:18:14 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368436 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [31] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368269 [post_author] => 2024 [post_date] => 2018-10-04 13:49:38 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-04 17:49:38 [post_content] => It's very easy to pick a song from Les Mis for an audition. If you want to sing out all of your sad feelings here are 10 audition songs that are not "On my own". [post_title] => 10 Mezzo Belter Audition Songs That Are NOT "On My Own" [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => closed [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => 10-mezzo-belter-audition-songs-that-are-not-on-my-own [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-04 19:47:18 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-04 23:47:18 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368269 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [32] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368162 [post_author] => 1996 [post_date] => 2018-10-04 12:50:09 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-04 16:50:09 [post_content] => https://youtu.be/IFA_J0Lw4uU Enjoy another installment of Regular Girls VS Theatre Girls with Auna Kemp. Will the girls loath each other 'for good'? Or, will their friendship Defy Gravity? Follow Auna on Facebook HERE And Instagram HERE [post_title] => Regular Girls VS Theatre Girls Episode 3: In An Argument [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => regular-girls-vs-theatre-girls-episode-3-in-an-argument [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-04 12:50:09 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-04 16:50:09 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?p=368162 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [33] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368075 [post_author] => 68 [post_date] => 2018-10-03 01:22:39 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-03 05:22:39 [post_content] => Time to declare your #rolegoals

Would you rather?

[post_title] => Would You Rather: Broadway Dream Role Edition [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => closed [post_password] => [post_name] => would-you-rather-broadway-dream-role-edition [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2018-10-05 11:34:54 [post_modified_gmt] => 2018-10-05 15:34:54 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://theatrenerds.com/?post_type=snax_poll&p=368075 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => snax_poll [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw ) [34] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 368017 [post_author] => 11 [post_date] => 2018-10-02 15:28:52 [post_date_gmt] => 2018-10-02 19:28:52 [post_content] => Let’s face it: preparing for an audition is nearly as stressful as the audition itself. For many performers, much of that pre-audition anxiety comes in the form of choosing a well-suited monologue. Just like every actress, every monologue brings something new to the table - especially when it comes to comedy!

Next time you’re looking to slay an audition with a funny monologue (YAS, QUEEN!), peruse this diverse collection.

Here are 17 great comedic monologues for women:

1. “So, the day after I turned 18…” - Val Clarke from ‘A Chorus Line’

Chances are, you and Val have at least one thing in common: you’re familiar with the trials and tribulations of auditioning. This witty monologue, from the acclaimed musical, ‘A Chorus Line,’ denotes one dancer’s darkly comedic journey to the Broadway stage. Monologue Length: 2:10 - 2:30 “So, the day after I turned 18, I kissed the folks goodbye, got on a Trailways bus - and headed for the big bad apple. Cause I wanted to be a Rockette. Oh, yeah, let's get one thing straight. See, I never heard about "The Red Shoes," I never saw "The Red Shoes," I didn't give a fu** about "The Red Shoes." I decided to be a Rockette because this girl in my home town - Louella Heiner - had actually gotten out and made it in New York. And she was a Rockette. Well, she came home one Christmas to visit, and they gave her a parade. A goddamn parade! I twirled a friggin' baton for two hours in the rain. Unfortunately though, she got knocked up over Christmas. Merry Christmas - and never made it back to Radio City. That was my plan. New York, New York. Except I had one minor problem. See, I was ugly as sin. I was ugly, skinny, homely, unattractive and flat as a pancake. Get the picture? Anyway, I got off this bus in my little white shoes, my little white tights, little white dress, my little ugly face, and my long blonde hair - which was natural then. I looked like a fucking nurse! I had 87 dollars in my pocket and seven years of tap and acrobatics. I could do a hundred and eighty degree split and come up tapping the Morse Code. Well, with that kind of talent I figured the Mayor would be waiting for me at Port Authority. Wrong! I had to wait 6 months for an audition. Well, finally the big day came. I showed up at the Music Hall with my red patent leather tap shoes. And I did my little tap routine. And this man said to me: Can you do fankicks? - Well, sure I could do terrific fankicks. But they weren't good enough. Of course, what he was trying to tell me was...it was the way I looked, not the fankicks. So I said: Fuck you, Radio City and the Rockettes! I'm gonna make on Broadway! Well, Broadway, same story. Every audition. I mean I'd dance rings around the other girls and find myself in the alley with the other rejects. But after a while I caught on. I mean I had eyes. I saw what they were hiring. I also swiped my dance card once after an audition. And on a scale of 10....they gave me for dance 10. For looks: 3."

2. “I can’t open sardines and answer the phone…” - Dotty Otley from ‘Noises Off’

Who doesn’t love an audition where you’re playing a character auditioning to play a character? This play-within-a-play features Dotty Otley, a washed-up actress who has a flare for the dramatics. Dotty is not only a principal investor in the play’s production but cherishes the role of Mrs. Clackett, a gossipy housekeeper. Monologue Length: 1:10 - 1:25 “It’s no good you going on. I can’t open sardines and answer the phone. I’ve only got one pair of feet. Hello…. Yes, but there’s no one here, love…. No, Mr. Brent’s not here...He lives here, yes, but he don’t live here now because he lives in Spain… Mr. Philip Brent, that’s right…. The one who writes the plays, that’s him, only now he writes them in Spain… No, she’s in Spain, too, they’re all in Spain, there’s no one here… Am I in Spain? No, I’m not in Spain, dear. I look after the house for him, but I go home at one o’clock on Wednesday, only I’ve got a nice plate of sardines to put my feet up with, because it’s the royal what’s-it’s called on the telly -- the royal you know -- where’s the paper, then? And if it’s to do with letting the house then you’ll have to ring the house-agents, because they’re the agents for the house…. Squire Squire, Hackham and who’s the other one…? No, they’re not in Spain, they’re next to the phone in the study. Squire, Squire, Hackham, and hold on, I’ll go and look. Always the same, isn’t it. Soon as you take the weight off your feet, down it all comes on your head."

3. “I sighted a herd near Penguin’s Creek” - Lady Mary from ‘The Admirable Crichton’

If it’s traveling back in time you like, choose the words of Lady Mary Lasenby, daughter of an English lord who is stuck on a deserted island with fellow aristocrats. Derived from a play by James M. Barrie (creator of ‘Peter Pan’), this challenging monologue proves a unique pick. Monologue Length: 45 seconds - 1 minute "I sighted a herd near Penguin’s Creek, but had to creep round Silver Lake to get to windward of them. However, they spotted me and then the fun began. There was nothing for it but to try and run them down, so I singled out a fat buck and away we went down the shore of the lake, up the valley of rolling stones; he doubled into Brawling River and took to the water, but I swam after him; the river is only half a mile broad there, but it runs strong. He went spinning down the rapids, down I went in pursuit; he clambered ashore, I clambered ashore; away we tore helter-skelter up the hill and down again. I lost him in the marshes, got on his track again near Bread Fruit Wood, and brought him down with an arrow in Firefly Grove."

4. “[Let me] tell you again, Grace, how important it is to give everyone a chance.” - Mrs. Armstrong from ‘The Best Christmas Pageant Ever’

Enter Mrs. Armstrong: veteran Christmas pageant director dedicated to ensuring one church’s amateur stage adaptation of the story of Jesus’ birth does the Bible justice. Tackle her hilarious lecture, and you’re sure to bring a little holiday cheer to the room. Monologue Length: 1:15-1:30 "[Let me]tell you again, Grace, how important it is to give everyone a chance. Here’s what I do -- I always start with Mary and tell them we must choose our Mary carefully because Mary was the mother of Jesus… Yes, and then I tell them about Joseph, that he was God’s choice to be Jesus’ father. That’s how I explain that. Frankly, I don’t ever spend much time on Joseph because it’s always Elmer Hopkins, and he knows all about Mary and Joseph, but I do explain about the Wise Men and the shepherds and how important they are. And I tell them, there are no small parts, only small actors. Remind the angel choir not to stare at the audience, and don’t let them wear earrings and things like that. And don’t let them wear clunky shoes or high heels. I just hope you don’t have too many baby angels, Grace, because they’ll be your biggest problem. You’ll have to get someone to push the baby angels on, otherwise they get in each other’s way and bend their wings. Bob could do that, and he could keep an eye on the shepherds too. Oh, another thing about the angel choir. Don’t let them wear lipstick. They think because it’s a play that they have to wear lipstick, and it looks terrible. So tell them…. And, Grace, don’t use just anybody’s baby for Jesus… get a quiet one. Better yet, get two if you can… then if one turns out to be fussy, you can always switch them."

5. “I got a 'C' on my coathanger sculpture?” - Sally Brown from ‘You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown’

Charlie Brown and friends may be a mere bunch of kids, but the beauty of the hit musical, “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown” is that a cast of adult actors brings this motley crew to life. Poor Sally garners an average ‘C’ grade for a school sculpture, and she has a thing or two to say about it… Monologue Length: 1 Minute "A 'C'? A 'C'? I got a 'C' on my coathanger sculpture? How could anyone get a 'C' in coathanger sculpture? May I ask a question? Was I judged on the piece of sculpture itself? If so, is it not true that time alone can judge a work of art? Or was I judged on my talent? If so, is it fair that I be judged on a part of my life over which I have no control? If I was judged on my effort, then I was judged unfairly, for I tried as hard as I could! Was I judged on what I had learned about this project? If so, then were not you, my teacher, also being judged on your ability to transmit your knowledge to me? Are you willing to share my 'C'? Perhaps I was being judged on the quality of coathanger itself out of which my creation was made...now is this not also unfair? Am I to be judged by the quality of coat hangers that are used by the drycleaning establishment that returns our garments? Is that not the responsibility of my parents? Should they not share my 'C'?"

6. “Do you know what I intend?” - Lucy Van Pelt from ‘You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown’

If it’s another member of Charlie Brown’s gang that strikes your fancy (or if you have a knack for dishing severe sass), check out this infamous declaration by the incomparable Lucy Van Pelt. Spoiler alert: she intends to be a QUEEN! Monologue Length: 1 Minute "Do you know what I intend? I intend to be a queen. When I grow up I’m going to be the biggest queen there ever was, and I’ll live in a big palace and when I go out in my coach, all the people will wave and I will shout at them, and...and...in the summertime I will go to my summer palace and I’ll wear my crown in swimming and everything, and all the people will cheer and I will shout at them... What do you mean I can’t be queen? Nobody should be kept from being a queen if she wants to be one. It’s usually just a matter of knowing the right people.. ..well.... if I can’t be a queen, then I’ll be very rich then I will buy myself a queendom. Yes, I will buy myself a queendom and then I’ll kick out the old queen and take over the whole operation myself. I will be head queen."

7. “I’m sorry, but a good HALF of the United States hates pigeons.” - Janet from ‘The West Wing’

Jenny Kirlin’s short play offers plenty of witty political humor. If you’re in need of a shorter monologue, consider reading this snippet of theatre that features a great opening line (we do hate pigeons!) Monologue Length: 30 Seconds "I’m sorry, but a good HALF of the United States hates pigeons. One third shoots them for game. I’m not the only bad guy here. You would have voted for an elephant if it had told you it could fix the economy. Which, by the way, is still not fixed. A giant goose egg. [...] I’m sorry if I am offending you, but I find it more than a little offensive that I just walked my daughter past a portrait of a pigeon in the National Art Gallery before I came here."

8. “Well nothing’s perfect Benjamin” - Elaine Robinson from ‘The Graduate’

If you’re a film buff as well as a theatre nerd, you may enjoy reading from the stage version of cult-classic blockbuster, ‘The Graduate.’ Your part? Elaine Robinson, daughter of Mrs. Robinson (*cue Simon & Garfunkel*). Monologue Length: 1 Minute "Well nothing’s perfect Benjamin. I wish my mother didn’t drink so much. I wish I’d never fallen out of that tree and broken my thumb because it so affects my fingering I’ll probably never play the violin as well as I’d love to but that’s about it for the bullshit, Benjamin. It’s only bullshit if you let it pile up. Heaven’s in the details. Someone said that. I think Robert Frost said that. I was in this diner with my roommate Diane? And this guy came along with a goat on a rope and it turns out the reason he’s got a little goat on a rope is that he was thrown out the day before for bringing in his dog? But the point is that Diane had stood up to leave when she saw the man walk in and she sat straight down again and said, well if there’s a goat I think I’ll have dessert. And that’s why I love Diane, because if you think like that you not only notice more little goats, you get more dessert."

9. “O, I am out of breath in this fond chase!” - Helena from ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’

Are your acting chops shown best when getting in tune with old-school theatre? A Shakespeare monologue can do no wrong. Fortunately, The Bard did auditionees the favor of writing comedies and tragedies; and “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” is one of his most beloved comedic plays. To read Helena’s monologue or not to read Helena’s monologue, that is the question… Monologue Length: 45 Seconds "O, I am out of breath in this fond chase! The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace. Happy is Hermia, wheresoe'er she lies; For she hath blessed and attractive eyes. How came her eyes so bright? Not with salt tears: If so, my eyes are oftener wash'd than hers. No, no, I am as ugly as a bear; For beasts that meet me run away for fear: Therefore no marvel though Demetrius Do, as a monster fly my presence thus. What wicked and dissembling glass of mine Made me compare with Hermia's sphery eyne? But who is here? Lysander! on the ground! Dead? or asleep? I see no blood, no wound. Lysander if you live, good sir, awake"

10. “And why, I pray you?” - Rosalind from ‘As You Like It’

We’ve another Shakespearean gem for you: Cue Rosalind, the smart, cunning and beautiful heroine of ‘As You Like It.’ Yes, this comedic piece also has a dramatic flair to it but the text lends itself to some witty interpretations. Monologue Length: 1:20-1:30 "And why, I pray you? Who might be your mother, That you insult, exult, and all at once, Over the wretched? What though you have no beauty,-- As by my faith, I see no more in you Than without candle may go dark to bed,-- Must you be therefore proud and pitiless? Why, what means this? Why do you look on me? I see no more in you than in the ordinary Of nature's sale-work. Od's my little life! I think she means to tangle my eyes too. No, faith, proud mistress, hope not after it: 'Tis not your inky brows, your black silk hair, Your bugle eyeballs, nor your cheek of cream, That can entame my spirits to your worship. You foolish shepherd, wherefore do you follow her, Like foggy south puffing with wind and rain? You are a thousand times a properer man Than she a woman: 'tis such fools as you That make the world full of ill-favour'd children: 'Tis not her glass, but you, that flatters her; And out of you she sees herself more proper Than any of her lineaments can show her. But, mistress, know yourself: down on your knees, And thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love: For I must tell you friendly in your ear, Sell when you can; you are not for all markets. Cry the man mercy; love him; take his offer: Foul is most foul, being foul to be a scoffer. So take her to thee, shepherd. Fare you well."

11. “I don’t know what it is with me lately but I just get so UGH!” - Kim from ‘Rather Be A Man’

Joseph Arnone’s one-act play, ‘Rather Be A Man’ chronicles two girls who are totally done with men being men. The e-play (available for download on MonologueBlogger.com) features a dark-clever reading into the mind of modern women. Monologue Length: 1:05-1:15 KIM: "I don’t know what it is with me lately but I just get so UGH! when guys come up to me, with their cheesy lines, (imitating guy) “Hey, you have such a beautiful smile” or “Can I just tell you that you are so beautiful”. Ugh! It disgusts me. I mean, who the hell does this guy or that guy think he is to give me such compliments? What gives him the right? I don’t do anything to give off any kind of interest whatsoever, I completely look the other way when I see eye contact happening and they STILL come over thinking they’re so suave and it’s simply repulsive. You know what I’m saying?? What does a girl have to do these days? Maybe if I just vomited on myself the guy would walk the other way but I bet even then, I’d get, “The way you vomit on yourself is just so, so delightful.” …All I want is to be left alone. I have a man, I love my man and I do my best to be polite but the irritation and the cheesy lines are getting to be too much. Guys are blind, they really are, OBLIVIOUS to when a girl is not interested. There are days when I rather be a man."

12. ‘Don’t Look At Me’ monologue by Joseph Arnone

This monologue brings to life the high-power attitude of one high-powered fashion designer. If it’s Meryl Streep in ‘Devil Wears Prada’ that acts as your creative muse, take a look at this monologue and add your own personality to this major diva supreme. Monologue Length: 45 Seconds -1:00 Elmira: "Don’t look at me. (points) You. Eh, eh, eh…when I address you, do not look at me. No eye contact. Is that understood? Look away. (beat) Okay, look at me now. (snaps her fingers) I told you not to look at me. Even if I tell you to look at me, do not look at me. Understood? Good, good darling. (she removes her gloves and hands them to her assistant) Oh! I have something in my eye, can you help me? (pointing) Looking, looking, looking! NO looking under all circumstances. You must raise up that attention span of yours. A fish could retain more darling. That is true. I have read it. Less attention span than a fish. Do not let that be you darling."

13. “Something I’ve resurrected from that old trunk!” - Amanda Wingfield from ‘The Glass Menagerie’

Own the audition room with some Tennessee Williams as you portray Amanda Wingfield, one of the most well-known roles in ‘The Glass Menagerie.’ Though chock full of drama, there are bits of comedic relief throughout the award-winning play. This monologue is spoken by Amanda, an aging and overbearing mother. Monologue Length: 2 Minutes "Possess your soul in patience - you will see! Something I've resurrected from that old trunk! Styles haven't changed so terribly much after all. [She parts the portières.] Now just look at your mother ! [She wears a girlish frock of yellowed voile with a blue silk sash. She carries a bunch of jonquils - the legend of her youth is nearly revived.] [Feverishly]: This is the dress in which I led the cotillion, won the cakewalk twice at Sunset Hill, wore one spring to the Governor's ball in Jackson ! See how I sashayed around the ballroom, Laura? [She raises her skirt and does a mincing step around the room.] I wore it on Sundays for my gentlemen callers ! I had it on the day I met your father. I had malaria fever all that spring. The change of climate from East Tennessee to the Delta - weakened resistance I had a little temperature all the time - not enough to be serious - just enough to make me restless and giddy. Invitations poured in - parties all over the Delta! - 'Stay in bed,' said mother, 'you have fever!' - but I just wouldn't. - I took quinine but kept on going, going ! Evenings, dances ! - Afternoons, long, long rides! Picnics. - lovely! - So lovely, that country in May. - All lacy with dogwood, literally flooded with jonquils! - That was the spring I had the craze for jonquils. Jonquils became an absolute obsession. Mother said, 'Honey, there's no more room for jonquils.' And still I kept on bringing in more jonquils. Whenever, wherever I saw them, I'd say, "Stop ! Stop! I see jonquils ! I made the young men help me gather the jonquils ! It was a joke, Amanda and her jonquils ! Finally there were no more vases to hold them, every available space was filled with jonquils. No vases to hold them? All right, I'll hold them myself - And then I - [She stops in front of the picture.] met your father ! Malaria fever and jonquils and then - this - boy.... [She switches on the rose-coloured lamp.] I hope they get here before it starts to rain."

14. ‘Ferret Envy’ monologue by Tara Meddaugh

Ferret murderers and unconventional pets run amok in this monologue by playwright Tara Meddaugh. Maybe you’re looking to read something that reflects your unique, one-of-a-kind sense of humor. We think this bizarrely wild scenario might do just the trick. Monologue Length: 2 Minutes Jyoti: "I know you think I murdered your ferret, but—hey, stop crying. You’re gonna make me cry too. And you (starts crying)—know—happens—when—we—both—start—oh! I’m doing it too now…Okay. Okay. What would Zena do? Julia, your ferret ran away. He did. I know you don’t want to believe me, but I know this, because…well, I saw him. And I was wearing my glasses, so I had 20/20. Or 20/30. I need a new prescription. But I could still see it was Foozu, and he was wearing the yellow rain slicker, not the winter coat you tie dyed for him, so I think he was headed for Seattle. And, I don’t think we should go after him, Julia. That Payless box wasn’t big enough; you always forgot to feed him, and when you did, it was usually just pebbles and sticks—and I really don’t think ferrets can live on that. Seattle has a lot more to offer Foozu. Food, drinks, warm shelter, intellectual stimulation, perpetual contentment. He deserves that, don’t you think? I, I know coming in and seeing me with the knife over Foozu’s box makes it look rather strange. But. . . Well. . . You miss him, don’t you? (pause) I could be your ferret. Don’t dismiss it right away. I’d be a good pet. I like to curl up in small places and I don’t mind rocks and sticks. You could knit me a winter coat, and you don’t even have to tie dye it if you don’t want to. That’s okay with me. Is that okay with you? I’m gonna just rinse this knife off and throw this little bag away, and then I’ll curl up in my box. I found a new one—a size 11! I’ll wait for you there and you can throw me a ball, okay? Unless, you don’t want me to be your ferret. You don’t need to back away from me. . . Don’t you want me here anymore? If I’m not here, who’s going to sing to you? I know the entire soundtrack to Sleepless In—don’t be scared—I’ll—but I don’t know where I’m supposed to go, Julia. (pause) I could follow Foozu. I could—I could go to Seattle. . . . I’ll follow Foozu. But Julia, when I go, you’ll have to clean off the knife again—I won’t be able to do it. . . . I don’t have a yellow slicker."

15. “Brothers and sisters, resist the Devil…” - Sarah Brown from ‘Guys and Dolls’

Step up onto your soapbox and dive into the role of Sarah Brown. In a buzzing New York City, Sarah is set on bringing truth to sinners. This lively monologue is one of the most memorable from this Tony Award-winning musical. Monologue Length: 45 Seconds - 1 Minute "Brothers and sisters, resist the Devil and he will flee from you. That is what the Bible tells us. And that is why I am standing here, in the Devil's own city, on the Devil's own street, prepared to do battle with the forces of evil. Hear me, you gamblers! With your dice, your cards, your horses! Pause and think before it is too late! You are in great danger! I am not speaking of the prison and the gallows, but of the greater punishment that awaits you! Repent before it is too late! Just around the corner is out little mission where you are always welcome to seek refuge from this jungle of sin. Come here and talk to me. Do not think of me as Sergeant Sarah Brown, but as Sarah Brown, your sister. Join me, Brothers and Sisters, in resisting the Devil, and we can put him to flight forever."

16. “Oh! It is strange…” - Gwendolen Fairfax from ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’

[caption id="attachment_368038" align="alignnone" width="662"]

Photo: Bryan-Brown[/caption] Oscar Wilde’s classic work is fully titled, ‘The Importance of Being Earnest, A Trivial Comedy for Serious People.’ It’s incomparable wit and wordplay is perfect monologue content as can be seen by these words from leading lady Gwendolen Fairfax: Monologue Length: 1:05 - 1:15 "Oh! It is strange he never mentioned to me that he had a ward. How secretive of him! He grows more interesting hourly. I am not sure, however, that the news inspires me with feelings of unmixed delight. [Rising and going to her.] I am very fond of you, Cecily; I have liked you ever since I met you! But I am bound to state that now that I know that you are Mr. Worthing’s ward, I cannot help expressing a wish you were—well, just a little older than you seem to be—and not quite so very alluring in appearance. In fact, if I may speak candidly— [...] Well, to speak with perfect candour, Cecily, I wish that you were fully forty-two, and more than usually plain for your age. Ernest has a strong upright nature. He is the very soul of truth and honour. Disloyalty would be as impossible to him as deception. But even men of the noblest possible moral character are extremely susceptible to the influence of the physical charms of others. Modern, no less than Ancient History, supplies us with many most painful examples of what I refer to. If it were not so, indeed, History would be quite unreadable."

17. “My aunt died of influenza, so they said.” - Eliza Doolittle from ‘My Fair Lady

Take on one of the most beloved characters of all time (and on Broadway currently). Quirky and lovable, this Eliza Doolittle monologue is an excellent pick for any woman who knows that the rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain! Monologue Length: 55 Seconds - 1 Minute "My aunt died of influenza, so they said. But it's my belief they done the old woman in. Yes Lord love you! Why should she die of influenza when she come through diphtheria right enough the year before? Fairly blue with it she was. They all thought she was dead. But my father, he kept ladling gin down her throat. Then she come to so sudden that she bit the bowl off the spoon. Now, what would you call a woman with that strength in her have to die of influenza, and what become of her new straw hat that should have come to me? Somebody pinched it, and what I say is, them that pinched it, done her in. Them she lived with would have killed her for a hatpin, let alone a hat. And as for father ladling the gin down her throat, it wouldn't have killed her. Not her. Gin was as mother's milk to her. Besides, he's poured so much down his own throat that he knew the good of it."

Have a great comedic monologue to share with other women? Comment below...

Research credit to stageagent.com , monologueblogger.com

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