It’s A Business

Song Title : It's A Business

Show Name : Curtains

Character Name : Carmen

Gender : Female

Age : Adult

Vocal Part : Alto

Range : C3-Ab5

Style : Midtempo (Swing)

Mood : Comedic, Wise-cracking, Character number

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Context & Lyrics


Carmen, a producer, reminds her estranged daughter Bambi (real name Elaine) that her main goal is to draw a profit from shows.

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CARMEN
I’ve never been known as one of those stupid clucks [pause] Elaine.

BAMBI
Bambi

CARMEN
Who pisses away a lot of her hard earned bucks [pause] Elaine

BAMBI
Bambi

CARMEN
But let’s face it your coloratura sucks Bambi,
Though it breaks your mother’s heart,
Forget about the part,
It’s time for you to know
Why I really backed this show.

You ask me for my motives
Well, you needn’t be so smart,
It’s a business.
It isn’t making history,
It isn’t making art,
It’s a business.

Shaw and Ibsen take ’em away,
And don’t bother me with Molière,
Those Russians never pay.

So go on criticize me,
Please, proceed with your attack,
It’s a business

I put one million in
And I expect two million back,
It’s a business

So, what crime have i committed
If I’m putting up a fight?
It’s a business

And I want those paying suckers
Out there giving me the business
Every night

(spoken)
Am I getting through to you, Elaine?

BAMBI
I’m sorry mother, but to me the theatre is a temple.

CARMEN (spoken)
What so it should only be filled on shabbat? Give me a hand fellas. [they clap] Very funny. You know what I mean. Back me up.

(sung)
The not for profit theatres
Don’t need to turn a buck
That’s not business

GUYS
That’s not business

CARMEN
So give them Lysistrata
And I wish them lots of luck
I do business

GUYS
She does business

CARMEN
Dorky schmorky
Money misspent
You won’t survive Yom Kippur
You’ll never get through Lent

I once knew a producer
Whose pretension knew no bounds
In the business

GUYS
In the business

CARMEN
He mounted Samuel Beckett
I don’t mean it like it sounds
It was business

GUYS
It was business

CARMEN
So now he’s down the crapper
While I’m working in my prime
It’s a business

GUYS
It’s a business

CARMEN
And the shows I do do business
‘Cause I really know my business
And I’m giving them the business, honey
All the time

BAMBI
But what about the great poets of the stage?

CARMEN (spoken)
Honey i put on the ice man cometh and nobody cameth

(sung)
To stage hands
To the dressers
To musicians in the pit
It’s a business

GUYS
It’s a business

CARMEN
The owner of this premiss cleans up if we’re a hit
He’s in business

GUYS
He’s in business

CARMEN
Union workers don’t work for free
Hey Harry on the spotlight
Blink twice if you agree

See!

I’m not devoid of culture
But my feet are on the floor
It’s a business

GUYS
It’s a business

CARMEN
I do the Kama Sutra
With a Richard Rogers score
That’s good business

GUYS
That’s good business

CARMEN
Yes, green’s my favorite color,
And I don’t mean on the grass
It’s a business

GUYS
It’s a business

CARMEN
And the shows I do do business,
Yes I’m good at doin’ business,
And if you don’t like my business sweetie,

Blow it out your—

GUYS
Business. It’s a business

CARMEN
Business

ALL
It’s a business
It’s a business
It’s a business

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