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17 Unfortunate Things Theatre Teachers See In Auditions

Do you ever wonder what kind of things theatre teachers see in auditions? After all, theatre teachers see thousands of auditions, so you know there are bound to be some unfortunately memorable performances.

1. The same monologue

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

I have nothing against D.M. Larson or Kellie Powell, but I have all their monologues memorized now. Time to read some more plays, people!

2. The improviser

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

You just came up with that monologue on the spot? I had no idea…

3. Fierce eye contact

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

Please don’t look me in the eyes while you perform a monologue about “me” attacking you.

4. Wrong genre

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

Your monologue was hilarious, but I don’t think Hamlet is supposed to be funny…

5. Vulgar performance

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

You would think people would censor themselves with teachers in the room… alas… they do not.

6. “Can I start over?”

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

I’m starting to think this monologue is about short-term memory loss. If it is… brilliant.

7. Overly prepared freshman

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

This one is only unfortunate because the seniors are going to whine that they were beat out by a freshman.

8. Lazy seniors

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

The senioritis is strong with this one… so I’m giving your part to a freshman.

9. Techies who can act and sing

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

You can act and sing too?! Great, now who’s going to build the set?

10. The plagued

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

You’re so sick that you weren’t at school today, but theatre is life, so… wipe your nose and try not to cough on the directors.

11. The Nervous Fish

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

At any moment these students think a shark will appear and eat them whole. (I have yet to see this shark).

12. No-show

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

Thank you for signing up last too… I was hoping to wait around for no one.

13. One character McGee

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

I really want to cast you… unfortunately the only character you can play doesn’t really fit in this show.

14. Original monologue

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

Must every original monologue be a dark and depressing window into your inner-thoughts?

15. Multi-tasking

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

Remember, you’re allowed to act and sing simultaneously!

16. Two left feet

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

Don’t worry, we’ll put you in the back.

17. Ineligible

Theatre Nerds, Auditions

I can’t cast you when you’re failing everything except Theatre and Choir.

Are you one of these people? What are some other unfortunate things theatre teachers see in auditions? Let us know by commenting below!

Written by Eric Eidson

Eric is a playwright, director, actor, and theatre educator from Aurora, CO. He received his BA in Acting and Theatre Education, and is currently an MFA candidate at the Playwright's Lab at Hollins University. (Hi Mom!)


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